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  #21  
November 8th, 2012, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
I've been thinking that every week he needs to earn any time at all. So like Sunday night, we usually don't have him play anyway because we do a family night. I'm thinking none whatsoever before school and as long as he has a good afternoon, he can earn 30 min of play time AFTER his shower and before bed.

I'm just hoping we can get to the bottom of this. This Sunday when BM picks him up, they'll be going to their new place. I just hope it is better for him and doesn't throw him off more. Like the place has 24 total apartments, and it's smack dab in the middle of a bad neighborhood. She claims its afforable housing, but its a 3 bedroom apt for $710 a month. I Pay $995 a month for my FOUR BEDROOM HOUSE. Comparatively, she could have found a 2 bedroom for about $650 in a nice neighborhood. Oh well.

In her defense, I think she is doing the best she can. She THINKS she needs to over inform him so he has all the info he needs. But she's giving him TOO MUCH info. We would NEVER tell him half the things she does. Because it's unnecessary.

Sigh. I just want this kiddo to be happy. We were doing so well.
If it is subsidized or income restricted they might have waived the deposit or let her pay it over time which places in a nicer neighborhood might not have done for her.

M's grandfather does that. Let children be children for crying out loud. :/
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  #22  
November 8th, 2012, 11:47 AM
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Yeah & they probably don't run credit checks either which could be a problem for her.
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  #23  
November 8th, 2012, 03:11 PM
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I thought it was income based housing? ie not that expensive??
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  #24  
November 8th, 2012, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
I thought it was income based housing? ie not that expensive??
They tend to either base it on the median income in your area or base it your rent off of your income and set an income cap where if you make more than that then you can't live in the complex.
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  #25  
November 8th, 2012, 03:30 PM
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oh that's different then around here. here all income based is per family per aparment per income.

so if I make X dollars and they decided rent can't be more then x % of your income. then they figure it out for me. so I could live there an pay 500, and the nex guy could live there for 100.
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  #26  
November 8th, 2012, 04:08 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
I thought it was income based housing? ie not that expensive??
She told me Tuesday night it isn't low income housing, it's "affordable housing." It's literally a 24 apt complex smack dab in the middle of a really bad neighborhood. I could easily find an apartment for $650 in a nice neighborhood. I just don't get it.
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  #27  
November 8th, 2012, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
oh that's different then around here. here all income based is per family per aparment per income.

so if I make X dollars and they decided rent can't be more then x % of your income. then they figure it out for me. so I could live there an pay 500, and the nex guy could live there for 100.
Essentially at least at some of the spaces here yes.


In that case Jenn....who knows? Some of her decisions seem pride based which is where good aftercare after her rehab would have done wonders because she could have worked towards forgiving herself so that she could move forward.
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  #28  
November 8th, 2012, 04:31 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
Essentially at least at some of the spaces here yes.


In that case Jenn....who knows? Some of her decisions seem pride based which is where good aftercare after her rehab would have done wonders because she could have worked towards forgiving herself so that she could move forward.
Yeah, she seemed to go from rehab directly to "I'm all better now. Nothing ever happened."
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  #29  
November 9th, 2012, 09:18 AM
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that's too bad hopefully this works out, and they can not let the neighbor hood get to them, but it can't be worse then where she is now
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  #30  
November 9th, 2012, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
that's too bad hopefully this works out, and they can not let the neighbor hood get to them, but it can't be worse then where she is now
Right now it's the fear more than anything.

And she just told me today she might not be able to move in until NEXT weekend. He goes back with her on Sunday. He won't want to. he said he is too scared to go back to that house, and how can we force him to do something he is scared to do?
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  #31  
November 10th, 2012, 09:42 AM
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Is she able to move this weekend?

She has no one to blame for him being scared but herself. This is why you don't overshare with kids because they process things differently. Hopefully she gets to move this weekend and he can go with his momma. I know O loves his routine and I know she's gonna miss him. Maybe she'll swallow her pride and take him to her parents?
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  #32  
November 10th, 2012, 09:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
Is she able to move this weekend?

She has no one to blame for him being scared but herself. This is why you don't overshare with kids because they process things differently. Hopefully she gets to move this weekend and he can go with his momma. I know O loves his routine and I know she's gonna miss him. Maybe she'll swallow her pride and take him to her parents?
Nope.

She's moving next weekend. When she called to tell O that, we asked him how he felt about it.

"Not good. I don't like being at that house because of that man."

He doesn't want to go back there. And when this was mentioned to her, her response was, "Well he sleeps in my room with the door locked, he's fine." Yeah, physically, he's probably fine. But telling him about the guy who beats his girlfriend makes him scared. It gives him anxiety about being there in general. But she doesn't get that.

She also asked us if we can pick him up and take him to his soccer game next Saturday so she can move.

She ALSO brought the ex boyfriend to his soccer game today. Ya know, the one she basically overdosed with. The one who she blames for her drinking because he is "crazy, psycho and possessive." The one who just 2 weeks ago she told us the reason she broke up with like a year ago was BECAUSE he went off on O one night AT Disneyland. Like started screaming and yelling at him.

I will never understand her.
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  #33  
November 11th, 2012, 09:30 PM
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Oh lord. I see her trying but at the same time...she's making bad choices again. Ughh
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  #34  
November 11th, 2012, 11:10 PM
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*throws hands up*
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  #35  
November 11th, 2012, 11:16 PM
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  #36  
November 12th, 2012, 09:05 AM
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  #37  
November 12th, 2012, 09:05 AM
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oh my
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  #38  
November 12th, 2012, 10:40 AM
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I really feel like there's some Bipolar or BPD going on there.

I really think she tries, but I think in HER mind, she's not doing anything wrong. She has herself convinced she's making good choices when shes...not.

Yesterday she texted me to ask where O's game was this Saturday. She has a computer and access to the schedule. When i told her she said, "What would I do without you Jen?!"

I'm not YOURS, lady. I am his. You're just baggage that I try to get along with! lol
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  #39  
November 12th, 2012, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
I really feel like there's some Bipolar or BPD going on there.

I really think she tries, but I think in HER mind, she's not doing anything wrong. She has herself convinced she's making good choices when shes...not.
That's definitely possible. I know my ex was like that & he also liked to "self medicate".

I hope for O's sake that she's stays clean.
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  #40  
November 12th, 2012, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
That's definitely possible. I know my ex was like that & he also liked to "self medicate".

I hope for O's sake that she's stays clean.
In the last few months, she has told me that O
  • Should get an inhaler for his asthma
  • should be medicated for ADD if his focus doesn't improve
  • Will catch any respitory illness he is exposed to due to having RSV and pneumonia as a baby
  • Should take allergy pills every day

I have never met someone who so badly wanted something to be medically wrong with their child.

Nobody has ever diagnosed O with ADD OR Asthma. He has never once wheezed in my presence and I have known him for 2 years.
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