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  #21  
November 12th, 2012, 09:06 AM
butterfly070212's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 112
Again, ladies thanks for your insight.

I DO NOT agree with her getting a spanking for not going to bed and/ or whining. Thats just plain bull crap! As far as I understand, they never had a bedtime routing with her so no wonder she doesn't know how to act.

At my house, we have a routine and she doesnt cry and whine at bed time. She knows what to expect.

I know at times, her dad would ask me if she whined if not getting her way. I told him yes what kid doesn't? He also would ask me about her routine here. He is always sending me texts asking me if she eats a certain food at my house.

We often disagree about alot of things. I tell him what she is used to at my house, whether he follows the same is up to him. I know he doesnt because he keeps asking me to send pull-ups because she wets the bed. She doesn't at my house, so I told him he needs to buy his own. We dont use them.

Co-parenting our daughter is tough, especially when he doesn't know her or doesn't want to be involved. I could write post after post on what I have been through in the past 3 years SIGH!
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  #22  
November 12th, 2012, 09:14 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,293
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cesca View Post
Rachel you hit the nail on the head. That's EXACTLY what I meant!!

As for the bio parents making the rules, that's crap! There is no way that my stepson's bio mom is creating rules for my house. And there's no way she'd allow my husband to make rules for her house. There cannot be different rules, aside from age difference type of rules, for different children.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree because I am feeling that you are being highly disrespectful of my point of view and such and I'm not going to stand for that. I don't give a crap if you are the host of this board. You are talking down to me and that's crap!!!!
If your stepson's bio mom requests that you not spank him, and you do.... if it was me I'd probably be contacting a lawyer. Separated parents still need to be on the same page. You can discipline with out spanking a child. It's not making different rules for different children, it's making an accommodation to not physically strike in any way a child you have NO LEGAL RIGHT over and instead passing the duty to the parent who does.

I can spank my step son, if the dire circumstance arises and DH isn't here (he ONLY gets spanked if he's done something that could hurt him, or someone else, nothing else right now could warrant needing to do more than deposit him into his bed and close his door.) I don't do it because he is NOT my child, I result to "get your whiny butt into your room and don't come out until I'm not mad at you anymore!" instead. As much claim as I lay to him some days, as much as I love him, the nitty gritty is.. HE IS NOT MY CHILD AND I HAVE NO LEGAL RIGHTS TO HIM WHAT SO EVER. I can parent him with out spanking him just as effectively as his father can while spanking him.

And no one's talking down to you. A differing opinion was expressed in a very blunt way. The point made was, they are the same thing, but they are interpreted differently. But regardless, they are the same thing, physically striking someone.
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  #23  
November 12th, 2012, 10:38 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cesca View Post
Rachel you hit the nail on the head. That's EXACTLY what I meant!!

As for the bio parents making the rules, that's crap! There is no way that my stepson's bio mom is creating rules for my house. And there's no way she'd allow my husband to make rules for her house. There cannot be different rules, aside from age difference type of rules, for different children.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree because I am feeling that you are being highly disrespectful of my point of view and such and I'm not going to stand for that. I don't give a crap if you are the host of this board. You are talking down to me and that's crap!!!!
Host or not, that means nothing to me. I don't post to anyone on here with a host hat. I only use it when making general posts to get you ladies going or when I ask that we move on from a troubling post/topic. I was not talking down or being disrespectful. If I were, it would be a very different post, trust me. I really want to tell you off right now but I'm not cause that is being disrespectful. I'm not telling you your pov is wrong. I even said I have to disagree with you. You're reading way too much into words on a screen there.
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  #24  
November 12th, 2012, 10:50 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Thank you, Ashley. I too would be calling a lawyer if I made such a request and it wasn't respected. I don't give a rats arse who you are. Only myself and my childs father is allowed to lay their hands on any of my kids. DH has always respected and agreed with me there. Him and BM were glad that I felt that way since BM did not want anyone hitting either, even DH. Which is why when she allowed her husband to do it, we were floored and acted immediately.

I can see what Rachel is saying. That it can and usually is interpreted differently. Yes, that is the difference, interpretation. As Ashley stated, they both mean to strike a child/person.

Now back to the OP, hun if you're really not OK with it, then you must say something. I would do it in writing just in case there is any backlash from it.
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