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3 days before thanksgiving.


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  #1  
November 19th, 2012, 06:04 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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And she decides to text Eric, "You get him for 2 thanksgivings in a row? I dont see how that's possible, nor is it fair."

Of course, Eric, being the awesome guy that he is, wrote back "This is what you agreed to." and attached a copy of the page that specifies we get him this Thanksgiving. "Also, you had him for Christmas day last year and you get him Christmas day this year too."

What irks me is that the REASON we had him thanksgiving last year was because she was in REHAB! We had him a lot of holidays while she was in rehab, and yes some of those are going to end up being 2 years in a row. We are not going to give up ALL holidays every other year just because thats how it worked out because of where she was.

Also, for the first I don't even know how many years of his life, O was NEVER with Eric on major holidays. Eric NEVER had him on Easter because, "Easter is a religious holiday and you are not religious."

The stupidity sometimes.

/end rant.
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  #2  
November 19th, 2012, 07:05 PM
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*hugs*

I'd be pissed too.

We actually gave up Reme this year. We always try and work the holiday's around everyone's work schedules. Well L's is great this year, and mine sucks. In order for him to get his T-giving dinner, and me get the sleep I need for work.. and for BOTH families to get their shopping done... we decided that he'll go visit Nanny and Pappy instead since they've been complaining they don't get as much time with him anymore and DH will get him on Friday.. while I sleep.. since I work ALL NIGHT LONG. Oh yeah.. I got blessed with a midnight opening shift at work.
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  #3  
November 19th, 2012, 07:18 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?

Honestly, if she has Christmas and you've made plans, I would abide by the agreement or offer to switch for Christmas. I don't think you're obligated to give her Thanksgiving AND Christmas just because she was in rehab last year on Thanksgiving.
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  #4  
November 19th, 2012, 07:48 PM
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BM tried that one year too, she hadn't been around for a year and she tried to tell us that we could have the last 3 holiday's of the year and she would just take them all next year. I seriously laughed in her face and said nice try but no.

I just think they don't look at the reason WHY they didn't have them on those holidays
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  #5  
November 19th, 2012, 07:59 PM
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We have plans that include everyone in mine and Eric's family working around OUR day. We live across the street from my parents and an hour from Erics. Going there at 10am, coming here at 4pm, and then the boys are coming here to sleep and I'm going shopping.

She had him for Christmas day last year when WE had full custody! She had NOTHING that day and we are nice people and for O's sake, we split the day with her. She picked him up pretty much right after he opened all his presents.

She's in her new place now, and I am sure she is feeling lonely. But we have a LOT of things planned this week. And I think she found that out. We had told her that even if there was soccer practice on Wednesday we wouldnt be there. We have tickets booked to a train ride up north called the Polar Express on the Grand canyon Railway. We are getting our Christmas tree on Friday, and going to downtown to see all the lights on Saturday.

Its a busy week. And Im sorry, but shes not interfering with it, lol
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  #6  
November 19th, 2012, 08:16 PM
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*sigh*
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  #7  
November 19th, 2012, 08:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
*sigh*
Was that directed at me?
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  #8  
November 19th, 2012, 08:26 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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You do what you can. At this point, it's more trouble than it's worth to change the Thanksgiving arrangements. Eric is entitled to holidays with his son just as much as bm is. She missed time in 2011 because she was in a difficult place and had made poor decisions. That stinks and shouldn't be held against her forever and I think it's fantastic that she's trying so hard to be the mother that deserves but that doesn't make it your job to inconvenience yourselves to make up for the time she lost.
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  #9  
November 19th, 2012, 08:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
You do what you can. At this point, it's more trouble than it's worth to change the Thanksgiving arrangements. Eric is entitled to holidays with his son just as much as bm is. She missed time in 2011 because she was in a difficult place and had made poor decisions. That stinks and shouldn't be held against her forever and I think it's fantastic that she's trying so hard to be the mother that deserves but that doesn't make it your job to inconvenience yourselves to make up for the time she lost.
Because we had made arrangements for Thanksgiving last year, we stuck with them. We did, however, let him go with her the following day when she got a 24 hour pass from her rehab facility. They ate leftover turkey, and everyone had a great time.

Kind of like how last Christmas, we had everyone here on December 23rd, because we knew that she would have him on the actual day and we wanted to have our own celebration. Just like we are doing this year.

I get that she deserves to be able to see him. However, this is Eric's year with him, and if he chooses to spend a few hours of that time with his son at my familys house, that is his choice. It's not like its just me and O going to my parents house. Eric will be with his son the entire time. Doesnt matter whose house its at.

BTW- O was very upset that my birthday last week did not fall on our week. He said he thought we all get him on our own birthday, and I had to tell him I didnt quite count.
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Last edited by Stepmom2Be; November 19th, 2012 at 08:36 PM.
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  #10  
November 19th, 2012, 11:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
Was that directed at me?
Just the situation. Why wait until now to say something? Why not just shut up because you get Christmas two years in a row? Why not remember it's not a "they're out to get me" thing, it's a "I was in rehab last year so someone had to keep him" thing.
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  #11  
November 20th, 2012, 07:54 AM
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I'm sorry shes being like that. Seems like Eric handled the situation perfectly. Hope you enjoy your thanksgiving.
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  #12  
November 20th, 2012, 08:29 AM
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Hold your ground! Dh's ex does stuff like that all the time. We had a situation just yesterday. I made dh stand his ground (this is a new thing for him). If you give in once, it will always be a battle

I understand how she feels but an agreement was made so she has to stick with it!
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  #13  
November 20th, 2012, 09:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
Just the situation. Why wait until now to say something? Why not just shut up because you get Christmas two years in a row? Why not remember it's not a "they're out to get me" thing, it's a "I was in rehab last year so someone had to keep him" thing.
Got it. I thought your sigh was directed towards my reaction lol.

Ground was stuck. She didn't reply when he showed her the agreement. We're all going to soccer practice tonight though so we will see!

I understand her being upset. Its the same way Eric feels about not having him for two Christmas days in a row.
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  #14  
November 20th, 2012, 10:59 AM
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Glad Eric stood his ground! Hopefully she doesn't throw a fit about it at soccer tonite!
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  #15  
November 20th, 2012, 11:36 AM
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I see both sides on this one.

I hope you guys can work it out with her.
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  #16  
November 20th, 2012, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
Got it. I thought your sigh was directed towards my reaction lol.

Ground was stuck. She didn't reply when he showed her the agreement. We're all going to soccer practice tonight though so we will see!

I understand her being upset. Its the same way Eric feels about not having him for two Christmas days in a row.
But it balances out because you both feel that way about a holiday this year. Like...why did she agree to that if that's wasn't what she was willing to do? Also...either way Eric was gonna get a holiday two years in a row because she was sick last year so...?
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  #17  
November 20th, 2012, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
But it balances out because you both feel that way about a holiday this year. Like...why did she agree to that if that's wasn't what she was willing to do? Also...either way Eric was gonna get a holiday two years in a row because she was sick last year so...?
Exactly. And it's not just about Eric. it's about O. He is super excited to see all his cousins on Thanksgiving. His grandma is super excited to be able to spend the holiday with him.

Originally, when they made the paperwork, We had Thanksgiving AND Christmas day. That's the draft that HER lawyer gave us. Eric said, "Why don't you take Christmas day since we will have thanksgiving and we should each get one major holiday." he told me that back in April when they did the paperwork. (I will admit we prefer Christmas Eve because then we get to wake up with him, but she preferred Christmas day to go to church.) So prior to Eric offering to give her Christmas day, she had HALLOWEEN and thats it.

great lawyer.
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  #18  
November 20th, 2012, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?

Honestly, if she has Christmas and you've made plans, I would abide by the agreement or offer to switch for Christmas. I don't think you're obligated to give her Thanksgiving AND Christmas just because she was in rehab last year on Thanksgiving.
I agree.
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  #19  
November 20th, 2012, 07:56 PM
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She of course *****ed about it tonight at practice. "Well I just dont get why you get two in a row."

We again told her she gets Christmas two years in a row and the agreement was made AFTER last thanksgiving. She had it in her mind somehow that the PAPERWORK gave us two years in a row. She doesnt know her own parenting plan. Has NO idea what holidays she gets him.

She then proceeds to ask us if we would consider switching around Christmas. Says her brother got divorced and she doesnt know when he has his son, who is O's age, and she wants to line up having O when her brother has his son. Eric said, You have him for Christmas day and the entire week after. Both boys will be out of school. I am assuming your brother will have him at some point. Her reasoning for this is because since Eric's sister is not divorced we can just "See that side whatever day my brother doesnt have his son."

Really lady??

I get tweaking things to make sure O gets to see his cousin. I get that. But she's going to have him the whole week after Christmas AND Christmas day. And we already mapped out Christmas based on the days we have him. Sigh.

She then told us that if we ever hear him wheezing we need to let her know asap and she can give us an inhaler for him. When I asked if he was prescribed one, she said, no its one of mine. But he DOES have asthma, if he wheezes he needs it and its the same ingredients.

GRR
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  #20  
November 20th, 2012, 08:27 PM
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Don't agree to things you don't agree to. If you agreed to modify the parenting plan because of rehab last year then that's what you agreed to and the week of one of the holidays in question is the wrong time to welsh on your agreement.

If someone gives you something they don't have to, don't make them regret it. Try to act like a reasonable person. Because the next time a situation happens where you get screwed out of something, no one is gonna want to try to make sure you get it if you're "that person".

If you and another adult can't manage to get two children together in a week someone doesn't care as much as they say they do.

Giving a CHILD medication that's neither over the counter nor prescribed to HIM makes you look like a lunatic. Doctors, shrinks and the LAW generally frown on it. The term Munchhausen might even be used.
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