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  • 2 Post By stucklikeglue
  • 2 Post By My2miracles
  • 1 Post By mom2more
  • 1 Post By Cesca
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  #1  
November 20th, 2012, 05:21 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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I know it's been a while since I have been around. But there has been a lot of stuff going on. BM got kicked out of her house. So now she is living with some friends she has no job (she quit that too when CSE caught up to her) and she has no car. K has still been going over there because the court order says we have to let him and he says that his mom has been acting different and spending a lot of time in the back bedroom with her friend and he's not allowed in there. Well she has also lost about 50 lbs in 2 months. So K gets curious and when all 6 of the adults that live in this 2 bedroom trailer were in the livingroom he goes to the bathroom and sneaks into the back bedroom that has a door that goes into the bathroom and when he is in there he found a mirror with white powder and a red thing that he said looked like a tube with metal teeth on the end(a pill crusher) All of this led me to take him to CPS and have him talk to them. Which I know had to be hard but I just told him that if his mom was back on drugs that she needed help and that if he told what he saw then they would be able to start helping her. Well I still haven't heard anything from CPS and they are supposed to go over there this weekend and we normally split holidays with her even though the court order doesn't say holidays. I just don't know what to do about the situation. I didn't like him going over there and not having a place to sleep but the livingroom floor while his mom and her bf sleep on the couch but now I REALLY don't want him going over there. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. Any suggestions?
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  #2  
November 20th, 2012, 06:58 AM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wouldn't let him go. Sounds like a terrible situation! And I would call cps and find out what's going on.
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  #3  
November 20th, 2012, 07:32 AM
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Since you don't have it in writing, I wouldn't let him go either. You have very valid concerns about his safety & well being.
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  #4  
November 20th, 2012, 08:04 AM
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No way I would let him go, I would call CPS and see what's going on.
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  #5  
November 20th, 2012, 08:12 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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Yeah I know we don't have to let them go for the holiday but the next weekend is her court ordered day. I have to go drop something off at the DHHR today and I plan to talk to the worker again and see what is going on.
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  #6  
November 20th, 2012, 09:54 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think you are doing the right thing by reporting her behavior. Hopefully CPS will investigate. And I wouldn't send him there when the court order doesn't say you have to!

Is there any way to kind of start limiting his visitation? Maybe say he has things going on during her weekends.....if she is getting high she might not really care if he doesn't come?

I would also try to talk to someone at your local court house and see if there is a way to get an emergency order of protection pending drug testing on her or something? I don't really know the laws but there has to be something you can do to make sure he is safe! Maybe do a free consultation with an attorney and get some advice on what you can do?
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  #7  
November 20th, 2012, 01:33 PM
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If you fear for safety, that comes above court order. Cops don't usually get involved in custody stuff like this (we've had to call and ask cops before... at the very least cops in Kent, Ohio don't get involved). And even if they do get involved, if you fear for the safety of the child then I doubt they'd do anything. Better to keep the child with you and potentially face contempt, in which case you can explain to the judge why you did what you did, than send to an unsafe environment.
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  #8  
November 20th, 2012, 02:50 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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yeah I think we may do what we normally never do and try to find a way to make both boys want to stay here this weekend. Then that will give CPS more time to investigate all this. Take them hunting or the fact their Aunt and Uncle they only see 1 or 2 times a year will be in might get them to stay.
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  #9  
November 20th, 2012, 02:52 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cesca View Post
If you fear for safety, that comes above court order. Cops don't usually get involved in custody stuff like this (we've had to call and ask cops before... at the very least cops in Kent, Ohio don't get involved). And even if they do get involved, if you fear for the safety of the child then I doubt they'd do anything. Better to keep the child with you and potentially face contempt, in which case you can explain to the judge why you did what you did, than send to an unsafe environment.
Ideally this would be the case. However, with out a new court order it is a violation of the original one. If you fear the safety of the child, you need to go about the right channels to withhold visitation. It's done this way to help prevent people with grudges from just withholding their kids from their ex on grounds of "I'm afraid they'll hurt the kids!".
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  #10  
November 20th, 2012, 04:19 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
Ideally this would be the case. However, with out a new court order it is a violation of the original one. If you fear the safety of the child, you need to go about the right channels to withhold visitation. It's done this way to help prevent people with grudges from just withholding their kids from their ex on grounds of "I'm afraid they'll hurt the kids!".
But for anything to happen to the OP for withholding visitation, wouldn't the mom have to take them to court? The police usually don't enforce a custody order, they just make a report and tell you to take it to court, right?
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  #11  
November 20th, 2012, 06:38 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2more View Post
But for anything to happen to the OP for withholding visitation, wouldn't the mom have to take them to court? The police usually don't enforce a custody order, they just make a report and tell you to take it to court, right?
yes, that's where the risk comes in. If they do take you to court over it, you can get in a boat load of trouble. You're in contempt if there isn't a new court order (like a protection order) in place that gives you permission to deny visitation. It can be a slippery slope, one that can land you in Jail or cost you custody of your kids depending on the judge and how long it went on.

She did the best thing, called CPS. I'd probably call the cops too, have K give a statement about what he saw, that might actually get something started faster. Or she might have her hubby go in tomorrow and file an emergency change in petition saying the house isn't fit for visitation.... cause it doesn't sound like they have reasonable accommodation at all for him. And if not this week, do it asap to cover bumz.
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  #12  
November 21st, 2012, 01:48 PM
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Personally, I'd take the chance. Because while yes the other parent could take them to court for violating the court order, the OP would have the CPS report to back them up not to mention they could also request that the child speak with the judge in chambers to say what was seen. The judge may consider that it is enough to warrant violating the court order.

It's a gamble but one that, if it were me, I would consider worth the risk.
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  #13  
November 26th, 2012, 10:48 AM
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How did the weekend turn out?
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  #14  
November 26th, 2012, 06:20 PM
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Oh man what a sticky situation. How did everything turn out? I too would risk violating the order, but I would be in court asap to file an emergency order of protection. Hope this all turns out well for him.
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