What would you do? re new school & gf's ex working there

Gaby&Emmy'sMama · #1 December 5th, 2012, 02:37 PM

I need thoughts... or just to be told to get over myself...

The school that Gaby will be going to when we move, is the school that Aidan and Eloise go to. Only thing is, Lauriel's ex-husband is the assistant principal there, and I can't help but worry that he is going to do what he can to make things hell for Gaby....

It's the point I'm considering sending Gaby to a different school to eliminate the potential for this... But then that seems a bit stupid because it means the 3 kids will go to 2 different schools....

Moving is going to be enough of an adjustment for Gaby, without the possibility that Lauriel's ex is going to make life hard for Gab...

I just don't know what to do?

Has anyone been in this situation?

w292737 · #2 December 5th, 2012, 02:53 PM

what could he do? I mean I don't know the laws there, but I'd think it would be illegal for him to single her out?

and honestly I'd think giving his role(job) he has enough to do at work rather then worry about a kid that isn't his??

Keakie · #3 December 5th, 2012, 03:40 PM

In our situation, the ex is a nutcase and it would be worth the inconvenience of choosing a different school to eliminate one more opportunity for drama.

If the ex is not a nutcase, I can see it being workable.

At the end of the day, it's really up to you. Is the inconvenience of having the kids in different schools worth the peace of mind you would gain? I'm not being snarky either; growing up, my brother and I attended a different school in the same city as my stepsister (until high school) and my stepsisters on the other side of the family went to different schools than us even in high school (we grew up in cities 20-30 minutes apart and all wanted to continue school in our respective hometowns). It didn't complicate life all that much, really.

Honestly, it's a big move and big change for everyone as it is. If I knew that *I* would be anxious and worried regardless of whether or not the ex actually pulled any shenanigans, I would just look elsewhere. It's one less thing on your plate in the midst of what's already a big transition.

Gaby&Emmy'sMama · #4 December 5th, 2012, 03:46 PM

I'd like to THINK that he'll be adult enough to not take any resentment he holds toward me, out on Gaby at school... but the kind of person he is, I really can't believe 100% that that'd be the case.

The flip side of all of this, is that I don't want to single Gaby out - we've been all about the fact the kids will be brother/sisters, so it seems like it'd confuse them if Gaby went to a different school...

I think I probably will enrol her at that school, but I'm going to be paying close attention to what goes on... I'm not scared of him and I won't just ignore it if I think something is going on. BUT hopefully it won't get to that anyway, and he can take any resentment, anger, etc out on me and Lauriel, rather than my child

K.A.T · #5 December 5th, 2012, 03:55 PM

Not much he could do other than making her punishments unfair if she acts out. Don't make any mountains out of molehills just yet. You might end up causing undue stress for Gabby.

Keakie · #6 December 5th, 2012, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gaby&Emmy'sMama

The flip side of all of this, is that I don't want to single Gaby out - we've been all about the fact the kids will be brother/sisters, so it seems like it'd confuse them if Gaby went to a different school...

I think you ought to do what you feel best about and if you'd rather enroll her in the same school, then you should. I just wanted to say that, despite attending different schools for several years prior to high school (and when we were both in the same high school, we didn't hang out at school), I do and have always considered my stepsister to be my sister. Schools don't determine relationships, at the end of the day.

Ember Rose · #7 December 5th, 2012, 05:11 PM

I know here in the US he wouldn't be able to do much but I don't know how NZ schools work. Try it and see how it goes.

plan4fate · #8 December 5th, 2012, 06:03 PM

I'd give it a try. And if it comes down to it, I'd possibly consider moving all the kids.

stucklikeglue · #9 December 5th, 2012, 09:17 PM

I agree with Ashley.

Admin-Rachel · #10 December 6th, 2012, 09:24 AM

Why does he resent you? I got the impression that he was the ex long before you and Lauriel got together, so is he only resentful because she's now with another woman?

Anyway, I think you should enroll her in the same school as her new siblings. I do think it would be difficult for her to go to a different school as them given all the other adjustments that she'll be dealing with.