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  #21  
December 18th, 2012, 11:50 PM
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When you're in recovery it's not really an overnight thing. It didn't take you overnight to get to rock bottom you can't get back overnight. If she wants to say that she's 100% (in spite of the fact that some of her decisions would suggest that isn't) that's her choice and her recovery process and that's fine. But O lived with her and had to deal with it so it affected him. And she can't mandate his process. If it still affects him, if certain things make him feel a little insecure or nervous that's just what life is now. All you can do is handle it and keep going. Sweeping it under the rug isn't an option because even though he's a child his feelings are valid.

Kids will do what they can get away with. M will shriek because he knows his grandfather will give him a dollar to calm down. And he knows that is NOT going down with me or his daddy. Not. At. All.

They will give you aftercare instructions. For liability reasons they actually MAKE you receive the aftercare instructions regardless of your background. (Mom has been an RN since 77 and she still gets the speech whenever she has surgery and when me and my sibling both got our wisdom teeth removed.) I'm sure O will be fine and I'm glad the CO is being followed.

ETA: It's nice to have a working relationship with the bio parent but it can't always happen. In this case I would really let go of the chance of it happening. At the VERY least until she comes to you and seems in a better place to let it happen. Sometimes the best intentions just...don't mean a hill of beans. You do you and let her do her according to the schedule.
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Last edited by Ember Rose; December 18th, 2012 at 11:56 PM.
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  #22  
December 19th, 2012, 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
When you're in recovery it's not really an overnight thing. It didn't take you overnight to get to rock bottom you can't get back overnight. If she wants to say that she's 100% (in spite of the fact that some of her decisions would suggest that isn't) that's her choice and her recovery process and that's fine. But O lived with her and had to deal with it so it affected him. And she can't mandate his process. If it still affects him, if certain things make him feel a little insecure or nervous that's just what life is now. All you can do is handle it and keep going. Sweeping it under the rug isn't an option because even though he's a child his feelings are valid.

Kids will do what they can get away with. M will shriek because he knows his grandfather will give him a dollar to calm down. And he knows that is NOT going down with me or his daddy. Not. At. All.

They will give you aftercare instructions. For liability reasons they actually MAKE you receive the aftercare instructions regardless of your background. (Mom has been an RN since 77 and she still gets the speech whenever she has surgery and when me and my sibling both got our wisdom teeth removed.) I'm sure O will be fine and I'm glad the CO is being followed.

ETA: It's nice to have a working relationship with the bio parent but it can't always happen. In this case I would really let go of the chance of it happening. At the VERY least until she comes to you and seems in a better place to let it happen. Sometimes the best intentions just...don't mean a hill of beans. You do you and let her do her according to the schedule.
I wish i could meet some of you and hug you. You have all helped me through so much.

He told me more about their convo. She started crying because she cant afford to get him a nintendo ds. She asked if eric would split one with her. He told her we already got him one. She got all happy and said but they are so expensive. He said Jennifer went out on black friday and spent 5 hours shopping overnight and got all his presents. She paid 80 bucks for the ds. And I think it sunk in that we really do know what we're doing.

She was like, He likes board games, I was thinking about getting him some. Eric said, we have like 20 board games and we play them all the time.

Its gotta be hard going from having ALL the control, to not being able to control us during our time, but she needs to get the hang of it. From what Eric told me, they ended the call on good terms. Both agreed to stay civil and friendly at pick up and drop off for O's sake.

Now Eric just has to get through a dentist procedure with her tomorrow! I have to work. Sucka!!
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  #23  
December 19th, 2012, 03:59 PM
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah

Last edited by My2miracles; December 28th, 2012 at 08:08 AM.
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  #24  
December 19th, 2012, 04:05 PM
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Part of the problem, the reason why Eric and I got into it the other night, is communication.

He puts off talking to her because he hates it SO much. He puts it off until I am too pissed off to hold it in any more.

I told him, for my sake, for O's sake, he needs to address these things as they are still small. This paperwork should have been signed in October. She wouldnt let the arrears go? Fine. Deal with it then.

He admittedly, closes off when he get frustrated. She is the only person he cant just cut out of his life and forget ever existed. It's hard for him. So when she says things that irritate him, he sometimes doesn't tell me, because I usually get WAY more mad than he does. Its a 2 sided problem, lol. So we made a deal. he will be more open and upfront with me when it comes to situations regarding her, and I will work on not letting the little things get to me.

Like how when they left the dentist office when she had him without consent she said, "Do you want to go home and write a letter to Santa or do you want to go to the mall and sit on his lap?" She basically encouraged truancy. he should have been in SCHOOL. But I did not let it irritate me. I did say, "Shes so stupid. How can anyone think that is okay?" But I moved past it.

Eric and I are now stronger than ever. he is being upfront with me about this whole situation. When the agreement needed to be typed up so they could both sign it, he had ME type it. He finally realized that pushing me away when it comes to her is ONLY going to make me more mad. At least now I feel like we are on the same team.
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  #25  
December 20th, 2012, 01:18 AM
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D did that. He's just dealt with so much junk over the years he'd rather avoid things. But life doesn't work that way especially when you have a child with someone you don't particularly care for.
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  #26  
December 20th, 2012, 07:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
I'm so **** sick of other bio moms wanted to cut this ***** slack. Step outside of the scope of your life and view it objectively. It doesn't matter if prayer is a big deal or if it's her kid or not. She signed/agreed to follow a custody order/parenting plan that says pray with your kid on your own **** time. If she didn't like it she should have fought it. You don't get to change things after the fact unless you go back to court.

And if you're too busy to talk to your child's parent about money you are NOT due that you're going to get anyway because you refuse to sign paperwork; then you magically having time later that night to talk to your kid (but not talk to the other parent about the money issue)? It is pure bull****. Notice she contacted Jenn to talk to O not Eric, who's in town and just as able to answer the phone. Yall are woo woo wooin' this ***** when she's clearly being manipulative.

I think she'd decided she needs the money and is going to wait until the paperwork can't be processed in time and THEN sign it or just not sign it at all. Stop being nice, stop working with her. Every last single cotton pickin' ****** thing by the CO down to the very last letter. You can not be nice with her she's proved that multiple times. At this point if Eric really thinks he can work with her and handle things casually he's a dummy and he deserves what he gets.

She took him HOME during ERIC'S WEEK without Eric's permission. Very blatant violation. Do something about it be it file a complaint with the court or call the cops. Stop playing her games. Also? Your phone? No reason to answer it when it's her unless Eric is out of town. Not "not in the house" or "at the store" or "at work" but completely out of the ******* state. She can wait like everyone else in this position would. She was a drunk and went to rehab if she's so much better she can deal like everyone ******* else. STOP making everything easy for her and catering to her.




Not when you share custody. Delusional ***** is delusional go back to court.


Jersey_Gray - in addition to everything else the other ladies have already said in response to your whack *** post, I'm not sure that I'm buying you have no issues with your stepparent because your words are dripping with projection and insecurity. Maybe you're being honest about your relationship with your stepparent and you're just in a marriage/relationship that's falling apart and you're fearful of a stepparent coming into your child(ren)'s lives. Maybe you already have an ex who's dating someone new and you're losing your mind over it. I don't know. I don't care enough to read your posts in forums that aren't relevant to me, frankly.

I'm a stepparent, and I'm also a stepchild (I have both a stepmother and a stepfather) and I will tell you in no uncertain terms that they are not the same thing. Experience with one offers a lot of perspective if you find yourself in another, but they are certainly not the same. You are gravely mistaken if you believe otherwise.

If you feel that we're all terrible and blended families are repulsive or whatever, I'm happy to inform you that you do, in fact, have the freedom *not* to click on the Blended Families board.
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  #27  
December 20th, 2012, 08:17 AM
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah

Last edited by My2miracles; December 28th, 2012 at 08:09 AM.
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  #28  
December 20th, 2012, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Ok 1st I'm going to address the other bio moms cutting slack comment. I think the problem I have with the orginal poster's post is that she complains about minor things like phone calls & saying a prayer during a phone call. I think she does need to cut the bio mom some slack on those types of things.

And then when we suggest that she needs to let those little things go, she comes back with a real issue.

Focus on the real issues like taking the kid out of school without consent. How the bio mom parents O while he's in her care isn't of her & Eric's concern. None of us like that but it is the way it is. I don't like the way dh's ex parents his girls & neither does he but there is nothing we can do about it.

2nd Kayla I think that was a bit harsh. This is an open community and people are free to express there opinions even if some don't agree with them.

Honestly, I would advise people to stay clear of blended families as well. There is so much strain & stress that the people involved have to be really worth it. Dh & I have a great relationship but we almost split a few years back because of the blended family situation. It's not an easy road.

I also understand her comments on her stepdad not being the same as her bio dad. My dd was adopted by her step dad & she loves him very much. He's an amazing dad. But she still has a different relationship with him because she knew her bio dad. It's hard to explain but it's not the relationship our son has with him.
It is an open community and we do have a lot of differing opinions - having said that, I wouldn't go over to any of the faith-based parenting boards with nothing to add except that I disagree with someone else's faith (or lack thereof). I wouldn't go to the TTC with PCOS/MA/Endo/Older Members and tell those ladies how unideal their situations are. I wouldn't go to the Unplanned Pregnancy board and shame women with mixed feelings about their pregnancies. I wouldn't go to the Adoption board and make judgement calls about whether or not the posters there would be fit to adopt. I wouldn't go to the Formula Feeding board and berate women who aren't breastfeeding. I wouldn't go to the Homeschooling board to talk about the benefits of NOT homeschooling, or the Learning Disabilities board to tell the posters there how they should be helping their children. I wouldn't go to the Vegetarian Mommies forum to talk about the benefits of diets that include meat. I wouldn't go to the SAHM forum and jump into threads to tell the ladies there what they could be doing better or more efficiently, and I don't go to the Working Mommies forum and make comments about how much time they should be spending with their children.

Would you like to know why? Because I am not in any of those situations. Because I don't know those women and don't know their stories and don't know what made them make the decisions for their family that they did. Because I find it extremely rude to waltz into a forum that deals with a life situation that you have never had to deal with, and shame a member who you've never spoken to before based on one post (which she has already admitted that she feels terribly about). Because life isn't ideal, and we're ALL trying to do the best that we can with what's on our plates. The Blended Families board shouldn't be any different.

While you are entitled to your own opinions, you have at least been there and walked the path yourself and can make an educated statement about something like blended family life (even if I disagree with you). The random poster who wandered in here whose situation is unlike any regular Blended Families member's cannot say the same, and that is why it was rude and that is why I don't care if I'm being harsh.

The fact that a relationship with a stepparent is different from a relationship with a biological parent (even at its best) is irrelevant, and it was neither what Jennifer has said or suggested in any of her posts nor has anyone else disagreed with that statement. I'm glad that your dsd has a loving stepfather in your dh; that's also not really relevant to anything that anyone who is actually a stepparent has actually said or implied here.

I don't know what it is about me, or about Jennifer or any of the other posters you tend to single out and attack on a regular basis, that upsets you so greatly. I'm sorry that you regret some of your life decisions. I don't. My dh and the relationship we have is worth all of the challenges that come along with blended family life, and while I would certainly stress that it's a unique and sometimes thankless job to be a stepparent, I think saying it's always a bad situation is a load of crap. If you have a chronic problem with the way Jennifer writes and thinks, you also have the freedom to *not* click on her threads. You are entitled to your own opinion and I certainly don't want ANYONE to feel like they have to voice an opinion that they don't really believe. She's also entitled to vent, even if it's about little, insignificant things.
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  #29  
December 20th, 2012, 12:12 PM
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah

Last edited by My2miracles; December 28th, 2012 at 08:21 AM.
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  #30  
December 20th, 2012, 12:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
No I would do it all over again. I'd still have my ds & the last 6 years would have been so much easier. Maybe we would have still dated but I wouldn't have married him.
You HAVE said that if you could do it over again, you wouldn't make some of the same decisions. I didn't put any words in your mouth.

I'm not trying to "tell you what to do". I am saying that if you are upset by the way someone else on this forum posts, you are welcome to not click on their threads. You're also free to click on them anyway, knowing that you're going to be ticked off by whatever's written because it's a post by [insert name here], make a rude comment and get all worked up. I really don't care; the former just seems like it makes more sense.

I really have nothing else to say to you. You argue with me on general principle. If I gave that random a fist bump instead of telling her where she could shove her comments, you would be all over how out of line it was for her to come in here and make such bold statements. I really don't know WHAT your opinions are because they seem to be based more in who you're answering and whether or not you like them as opposed to any solid convictions of your own.

In addition, anytime someone disagrees with you it more or less turns into you latching onto a fragment of a sentence and getting up in arms over it and ignoring any valid points that were presented to you, and I really don't have the time or desire to have that back and forth with you.
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  #31  
December 20th, 2012, 01:28 PM
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Well I would like to update.

We went to the dentist today. He had his 6 cavities filled and 2 pulpotomies done. She tried very hard to talk to the dentist like she knew what she was saying, but he basically backed up everything I had told her and schooled her. Basically told her that it's best to do BOTH pulpotomies instead of waiting to see if the second one causes pain. He said, "Why put him through pain and have to sedate him again. I treat the patient, not the tooth."

O is home, he is resting. She actually allowed me to be the one to help walk him to the car. He walked up to me and I put my arm around him and he just started walking so I just went with it. He's all snuggled up in our bed right now.

As far as me posting insignificant things. Unfortunately, that's how I get past them. Sometimes I need to verbalize something that bothers me in order to re read it and get over it. I don't like to always do that to Eric. He doesn't need me constantly bringing up little things that bug me about her. The prayer thing really did bug me though. ONLY because our C/O specifically states that we can only practice during our time. If Eric called during her time and started talking about how he doesn't believe and stuff and isn't religious, she would flip. Eric deserves the EXACT same respect as BM does. That's what joint custody means. Double standards are no longer allowed. She's been called out on all her boundary crossing and will continue to in the future.
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  #32  
December 20th, 2012, 02:03 PM
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I have stayed out of this thread until now, but I would like to say something.

I think that this thread has turned into a "let's bash one another for their thoughts and feelings because I don't agree with it"

We have a variety of moms here, both biological moms and step-moms or both, but we all have a common goal at heart, and that is doing what is best for "our" children, because I think everyone will agree, that whether they are biological or step-kids, if they are part of your home and family they are still "your" kids.

We are all here on the Blended Families board because we have a unique family make-up, and we came here to find support and advice from others who are in a similar situation or possibly have already been through what we are going through.

Let's all please quit bashing one another and doing a she-said/she-said argument. We are all adults and let's all please act like it.

Kat and Rachel, if I am out of line posting this, I am sorry, but this is how I am feeling about this.
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  #33  
December 20th, 2012, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Ok 1st I'm going to address the other bio moms cutting slack comment. I think the problem I have with the orginal poster's post is that she complains about minor things like phone calls & saying a prayer during a phone call. I think she does need to cut the bio mom some slack on those types of things.

And then when we suggest that she needs to let those little things go, she comes back with a real issue.

Focus on the real issues like taking the kid out of school without consent. How the bio mom parents O while he's in her care isn't of her & Eric's concern. None of us like that but it is the way it is. I don't like the way dh's ex parents his girls & neither does he but there is nothing we can do about it.

2nd Kayla I think that was a bit harsh. This is an open community and people are free to express there opinions even if some don't agree with them.

Honestly, I would advise people to stay clear of blended families as well. There is so much strain & stress that the people involved have to be really worth it. Dh & I have a great relationship but we almost split a few years back because of the blended family situation. It's not an easy road.

I also understand her comments on her stepdad not being the same as her bio dad. My dd was adopted by her step dad & she loves him very much. He's an amazing dad. But she still has a different relationship with him because she knew her bio dad. It's hard to explain but it's not the relationship our son has with him.
Actually no. The prayer issue is specifically addressed in their CO which she said in the post she mentioned the prayer. So she shouldn't get any slack on that because if she thinks she can do whatever she wants with that there's nothing to stop her from doing whatever she wants with other parts of the CO. Like pulling him out of school DURING ERIC'S WEEK. Like...how are you consistently missing things like this? She has been consistently wavering all along that line when it comes to respecting that Eric's time is Eric's time and not hers for a while. Why is being a bio mom making it okay to ignore the CO? Is it the ovaries or what? Inquiring minds want to know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
It is an open community and we do have a lot of differing opinions - having said that, I wouldn't go over to any of the faith-based parenting boards with nothing to add except that I disagree with someone else's faith (or lack thereof). I wouldn't go to the TTC with PCOS/MA/Endo/Older Members and tell those ladies how unideal their situations are. I wouldn't go to the Unplanned Pregnancy board and shame women with mixed feelings about their pregnancies. I wouldn't go to the Adoption board and make judgement calls about whether or not the posters there would be fit to adopt. I wouldn't go to the Formula Feeding board and berate women who aren't breastfeeding. I wouldn't go to the Homeschooling board to talk about the benefits of NOT homeschooling, or the Learning Disabilities board to tell the posters there how they should be helping their children. I wouldn't go to the Vegetarian Mommies forum to talk about the benefits of diets that include meat. I wouldn't go to the SAHM forum and jump into threads to tell the ladies there what they could be doing better or more efficiently, and I don't go to the Working Mommies forum and make comments about how much time they should be spending with their children.

Would you like to know why? Because I am not in any of those situations. Because I don't know those women and don't know their stories and don't know what made them make the decisions for their family that they did. Because I find it extremely rude to waltz into a forum that deals with a life situation that you have never had to deal with, and shame a member who you've never spoken to before based on one post (which she has already admitted that she feels terribly about). Because life isn't ideal, and we're ALL trying to do the best that we can with what's on our plates. The Blended Families board shouldn't be any different.

While you are entitled to your own opinions, you have at least been there and walked the path yourself and can make an educated statement about something like blended family life (even if I disagree with you). The random poster who wandered in here whose situation is unlike any regular Blended Families member's cannot say the same, and that is why it was rude and that is why I don't care if I'm being harsh.

The fact that a relationship with a stepparent is different from a relationship with a biological parent (even at its best) is irrelevant, and it was neither what Jennifer has said or suggested in any of her posts nor has anyone else disagreed with that statement. I'm glad that your dsd has a loving stepfather in your dh; that's also not really relevant to anything that anyone who is actually a stepparent has actually said or implied here.

I don't know what it is about me, or about Jennifer or any of the other posters you tend to single out and attack on a regular basis, that upsets you so greatly. I'm sorry that you regret some of your life decisions. I don't. My dh and the relationship we have is worth all of the challenges that come along with blended family life, and while I would certainly stress that it's a unique and sometimes thankless job to be a stepparent, I think saying it's always a bad situation is a load of crap. If you have a chronic problem with the way Jennifer writes and thinks, you also have the freedom to *not* click on her threads. You are entitled to your own opinion and I certainly don't want ANYONE to feel like they have to voice an opinion that they don't really believe. She's also entitled to vent, even if it's about little, insignificant things.
Seriously. She basically came in here and said she fundamentally thought all of us made a crap choice. Not some. ALL. That's like going into the Christian forum and telling all of them their belief system is junk and it's ruining our lives. Uhuh. Nope. Try the entire **** again I'm not here for that. If that's how she feels there's really no point in saying anything in here. Nothing about her post was really constructive. She used this thread as an in to tell all of us our choice to be a blended family in whatever way we are was bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
Well I would like to update.

We went to the dentist today. He had his 6 cavities filled and 2 pulpotomies done. She tried very hard to talk to the dentist like she knew what she was saying, but he basically backed up everything I had told her and schooled her. Basically told her that it's best to do BOTH pulpotomies instead of waiting to see if the second one causes pain. He said, "Why put him through pain and have to sedate him again. I treat the patient, not the tooth."

O is home, he is resting. She actually allowed me to be the one to help walk him to the car. He walked up to me and I put my arm around him and he just started walking so I just went with it. He's all snuggled up in our bed right now.

As far as me posting insignificant things. Unfortunately, that's how I get past them.
Sometimes I need to verbalize something that bothers me in order to re read it and get over it. I don't like to always do that to Eric. He doesn't need me constantly bringing up little things that bug me about her. The prayer thing really did bug me though. ONLY because our C/O specifically states that we can only practice during our time. If Eric called during her time and started talking about how he doesn't believe and stuff and isn't religious, she would flip. Eric deserves the EXACT same respect as BM does. That's what joint custody means. Double standards are no longer allowed. She's been called out on all her boundary crossing and will continue to in the future.
That's what a good deal of us use the forum for. To vent about the small stuff so we don't blow up on bio parents or coworkers or our partners. I feel really uncomfortable that using a forum the way a great deal of people tend to do, especially in situations like these aren't ok with some people. Or it is only in certain instances with certain people. I think that sucks.
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  #34  
December 20th, 2012, 02:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
Actually no. The prayer issue is specifically addressed in their CO which she said in the post she mentioned the prayer. So she shouldn't get any slack on that because if she thinks she can do whatever she wants with that there's nothing to stop her from doing whatever she wants with other parts of the CO. Like pulling him out of school DURING ERIC'S WEEK. Like...how are you consistently missing things like this? She has been consistently wavering all along that line when it comes to respecting that Eric's time is Eric's time and not hers for a while. Why is being a bio mom making it okay to ignore the CO? Is it the ovaries or what? Inquiring minds want to know.
Preach it. A violation is a a violation, whether it's over prayer time or whether it's a parent picking up children without permission during the other parent's designated time. No one forced her to sign that document.


Quote:
She basically came in here and said she fundamentally thought all of us made a crap choice. Not some. ALL. That's like going into the Christian forum and telling all of them their belief system is junk and it's ruining our lives. Uhuh. Nope. Try the entire **** again I'm not here for that. If that's how she feels there's really no point in saying anything in here. Nothing about her post was really constructive. She used this thread as an in to tell all of us our choice to be a blended family in whatever way we are was bad.
Exactly. It wasn't a "Here's some insight from someone who is a stepchild who dealt with [something relevant to Jennifer's OP]". It was, "I'm not a stepparent and I wouldn't DREAM of becoming one because blended families are awful, but I have a stepfather so I guess that means I'm allowed to be openly judgmental and presumptuous about all of your families".

Patty, I have to respectfully disagree that this has become a bash fest over differing opinions. There were differing opinions and some legitimate back and forth discussion, and then someone came in and made unwarranted, rude comments about ALL of our lifestyle choices. I called her on it, and pointed out that it sounded like she was projecting pretty heavily (and she's hardly the first person I've said that to - I've suggested projection to some of the posters here who I'm closest too for goodness sake) and I became Kris' target because... I don't know why. I did respond harshly to her. I did not do so because I have differing opinions. I did so because 90% of the posts I write are followed up by Kris criticizing them and frankly it's exhausting. I've tried politely disengaging from the conversation, agreeing to disagree and ignoring her entirely (none of which net any positive results) and she's made it perfectly clear that she will continue to post wherever she wants because no one tells her what to do!!!! so I'm not sure how else to respond besides aggressively at this point. I differ in opinion from pretty much everyone in one way or another, and have been an advocate for respecting our differences on several occasions. I get along wonderfully with a lot of people who I disagree with. I would really just like to be able to post something without Kris following it up with a criticism or otherwise rude remark.

Jennifer, I'm sorry that yet another of your threads has become a dramafest. I'm glad that O is home and resting and hope that he recovers quickly and smoothly.
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  #35  
December 20th, 2012, 03:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmdc5286 View Post
I have stayed out of this thread until now, but I would like to say something.

I think that this thread has turned into a "let's bash one another for their thoughts and feelings because I don't agree with it"

We have a variety of moms here, both biological moms and step-moms or both, but we all have a common goal at heart, and that is doing what is best for "our" children, because I think everyone will agree, that whether they are biological or step-kids, if they are part of your home and family they are still "your" kids.

We are all here on the Blended Families board because we have a unique family make-up, and we came here to find support and advice from others who are in a similar situation or possibly have already been through what we are going through.

Let's all please quit bashing one another and doing a she-said/she-said argument. We are all adults and let's all please act like it.

Kat and Rachel, if I am out of line posting this, I am sorry, but this is how I am feeling about this.
I don't care if people have different opinions. We're all different so our opinions are gonna be different. Some are religious, some aren't; some are more involved than others. Some were married to the other bio parent first and some weren't. Some have the other parent still involved and some don't. But generally we all agree that violating the CO or even acting like you're getting ready to is a no go because the CO is in place for a reason. Some of us lament over the COs our SOs signed before we came into the picture and we're not violating them; we're fighting them legally. Because we can ALL agree that not following the CO isn't an option if the child isn't in danger. Fight it? Yes. Resist changes that are stupid? Yes.

Some things really are black and white.
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  #36  
December 20th, 2012, 05:15 PM
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This is the same person that when she was ordered to pass drug/alcohol tests every week, told Eric, "The judge wont care if I come up positive for alcohol, he just doesnt want me drinking a LOT."

there is NO reasoning with her. She thought it was okay to violate the CO because shes his mom and its her right.

But it wouldnt be Erics right as his dad if it were her week. They have JOINT custody. He is not a deadbeat dad. He is involved in every single aspect of his sons life and he does a **** fine job being an amazing father to him. When she had full then yes she could pull these strings. Not anymore.

Thank you for your well wishes. O just finished up a smoothie my cousin brought over and is resting/playing video games. He'll be fine by tomorrow!

PS- We finally got access to O's medical records. Guess who hasn't brought him for a well kid visit since 2009?
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  #37  
December 20th, 2012, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
This is the same person that when she was ordered to pass drug/alcohol tests every week, told Eric, "The judge wont care if I come up positive for alcohol, he just doesnt want me drinking a LOT."

there is NO reasoning with her. She thought it was okay to violate the CO because shes his mom and its her right.

But it wouldnt be Erics right as his dad if it were her week. They have JOINT custody. He is not a deadbeat dad. He is involved in every single aspect of his sons life and he does a **** fine job being an amazing father to him. When she had full then yes she could pull these strings. Not anymore.

Thank you for your well wishes. O just finished up a smoothie my cousin brought over and is resting/playing video games. He'll be fine by tomorrow!

PS- We finally got access to O's medical records. Guess who hasn't brought him for a well kid visit since 2009?
2009?!?!?! Holy Crud!
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  #38  
December 20th, 2012, 08:53 PM
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Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
2009?!?!?! Holy Crud!
Yeahhhh. Eric was like, "You had full custody. Not only that but you had him Mon-Fri. I was not allowed to inquire about him because you were his mother and you had all the control. I assumed you were keeping up with his needs and I was wrong. This ALL needs to be taken care of. ASAP."

Oh and the Dr. also told us that contrary to what his mother told the dentist today he does not have:

Asthma
Heart Murmor.

WHY on earth would someone so desperately want their child to be sick?
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  #39  
December 20th, 2012, 10:11 PM
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We have the opposite issue. She so desperately wants him to be healthy, that sometimes I personally feel that things get pushed under the rug.

At 7 Reme can barely run 30 feet with out gasping for breath. He won't stop, but he gasps. I figure since he was early, his lungs are a bit weak. But he hasn't been checked for asthma or anything of the like.. even though he has a chronic barking cough (we don't have any of his insurance info, we can't take him to the dr). It makes me sad.
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  #40  
December 20th, 2012, 10:58 PM
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O played soccer for 3 months and never coughed or wheezed once. But on windy days she has him use HER inhaler.

Munchhausen anyone?
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