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  #41  
December 20th, 2012, 11:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post

She of course, true to her bipolar self, was super nice to Eric.
Im sorry, but I find this comment out of line. If she's bipolar, let it be, but to make a flippant comment you do realize that bipolar disorder runs in families, and O can develop it? Are you going to say "O, being true to your bipolar self, you are going a little overboard! You were JUST being nice!"

Im sorry, but that comment struck a chord with me.

Some things you have a legitimate concern about... like taking him out of school without permission. THAT BEING SAID... whats wrong with a bed time prayer? It should not be your call at ALL to even have a comment about it as long as she isnt hurting him. She would be hurting him to say, worship the devil and breed hatred, but a bedtime prayer? Is it worth the drama?

You guys are badmouthing what she wants to get him for Christmas. If she wants some board games the response shouldnt be "He has 20," ya know to be honest, it's better than getting a **** video game! Tell her what games you DONT have and then your family nights will be even more fun!

Im glad O didnt hear you *****ing about his Mom but you have to be more cognizant of the fact that he is there and can hear you talk about his Mom... sometimes you need to think "Okay, breathe, do I NEED to say this now? If so, WHERE can I say it so O won't hear any bad sayings about his Mom? If I cant speak softly... WRITE IT DOWN and ***** to SO later!" You have have HAVE to keep it inside when O is around, even if you thought he was somewhere else!
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  #42  
December 21st, 2012, 12:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Froggy View Post
Im sorry, but I find this comment out of line. If she's bipolar, let it be, but to make a flippant comment you do realize that bipolar disorder runs in families, and O can develop it? Are you going to say "O, being true to your bipolar self, you are going a little overboard! You were JUST being nice!"

Im sorry, but that comment struck a chord with me.

Some things you have a legitimate concern about... like taking him out of school without permission. THAT BEING SAID... whats wrong with a bed time prayer? It should not be your call at ALL to even have a comment about it as long as she isnt hurting him. She would be hurting him to say, worship the devil and breed hatred, but a bedtime prayer? Is it worth the drama?

You guys are badmouthing what she wants to get him for Christmas. If she wants some board games the response shouldnt be "He has 20," ya know to be honest, it's better than getting a **** video game! Tell her what games you DONT have and then your family nights will be even more fun!

Im glad O didnt hear you *****ing about his Mom but you have to be more cognizant of the fact that he is there and can hear you talk about his Mom... sometimes you need to think "Okay, breathe, do I NEED to say this now? If so, WHERE can I say it so O won't hear any bad sayings about his Mom? If I cant speak softly... WRITE IT DOWN and ***** to SO later!" You have have HAVE to keep it inside when O is around, even if you thought he was somewhere else!

She can only practice HER religion with her son during HER time. That is in the court order that she signed and accepted. It sounds like Eric and Jenn are not religious and while they don't bad mouth the religion to Owen, they do not practice during their time. It's simple, she signed the agreement, she has to abide by it. If it was the other way around BM would the pitching a royal fit and throwing the order in their face. So YES, it is worth the drama in their case. If they don't hold her to the letter, she will just continue to abuse it.
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  #43  
December 21st, 2012, 10:51 AM
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  #44  
December 21st, 2012, 02:58 PM
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My issue with the praying was that we are NOT religious. Eric could counter any thing she says about religion and does not agree with her choices.

That being said, she is free to take him to church every single day she has him and pray all day long.

Just not during Erics week. She has said before she knows he ISNT religious, so thats just stepping on toes BECAUSE she is his mom.

BTW- She went down to DES today and signed off on the arrears! Turns out Eric only owed $680. So now SHE owes us money. Would ya look at that?
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  #45  
December 22nd, 2012, 02:06 PM
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ughh no words really. I'm really annoyed by that random poster. She can go fly a kite. I'm bio mom, step mom and was step kid. All situations were different. To have the balls to come into this forum and make such a blanket statement is very rude, period!

As for Jen, the bottom line is that the pp is being violated. She's not the only one of us who is dealing with a violation of the pp, why is hers so different that she should just have to suck it up? I'll be the first to admit that some things that bother her annoy me (sorry Jen I'm being brutally honest to get my point across), but come on, this is how she deals with it. She's learning to let us know ahead of time she needs to vent. That's what we asked of her, so let her do it, darn it!

It looks like things have one way or another worked themselves out. I hope they continue to work themselves out for everyone's sake that is actually involved.
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  #46  
December 22nd, 2012, 10:24 PM
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Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
ughh no words really. I'm really annoyed by that random poster. She can go fly a kite. I'm bio mom, step mom and was step kid. All situations were different. To have the balls to come into this forum and make such a blanket statement is very rude, period!

As for Jen, the bottom line is that the pp is being violated. She's not the only one of us who is dealing with a violation of the pp, why is hers so different that she should just have to suck it up? I'll be the first to admit that some things that bother her annoy me (sorry Jen I'm being brutally honest to get my point across), but come on, this is how she deals with it. She's learning to let us know ahead of time she needs to vent. That's what we asked of her, so let her do it, darn it!

It looks like things have one way or another worked themselves out. I hope they continue to work themselves out for everyone's sake that is actually involved.
yeah today was weird.

She emailed him a 4 page email saying basically "I chage my mind. You didnt give me a chance to agree to this dentist procedure so I dont wanna pay for it. Furthermore, I have 60 days to change my mind about filing to waive the arrears AND I can refile for C/S so you better do what I say.."

They fought on the phone for 2 hours. They said MEAN things to each other. MEAN MEAN things.

He finally got her down off her high horse and explained why what we did is fair. She is very jekyl and hyde. She texted him a picture of the form she signed at DCSE saying she waives the arrears and it says RIGHT ON IT "Once signed, this is irrevokable and I CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND."

So what happened is she signed off it, got scared we wouldnt uphold our end of the deal (We would have,) and then threatened us. And the kicker?

The arrears balance is only 650. And we are paying 888 for O's dentist visit. 444 of that is hers. AND she owes Eric 350. So we are paying 794 for a debt of 650. She's scared we're going to come after her for it and WE DONT WANT IT!

We said, Seriously, we will let that 144 GO completely if she would just quit acting like this.

He said, it's clear I dont care for you, and I know you dont care for me. Which is fine. But we need to get along for O's sake. She then called Eric honey, and said she really cared about him bc he is the father of her child. And he said, okay well I cant say the same, sorry.

It was so dramatic and it ended exactly how it started. Craziness!
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  #47  
December 23rd, 2012, 08:11 AM
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Why does she have to agree to it, isn't it something that needs to be done? And to not take him for a well child check since 2009, is so irresponsible. The fact that she's studying to become a nurse is scary. She's the wrong person, IMO, to be in that field. A person who self medicated a child with their own adult medicines, is not a person who should be a practicing nurse. Again, all my own opinion here.

Sorry she's being so wishy washy. Maybe the fact that you two are getting married and it's coming up fast is starting to bother her. I know it played a major factor in how BM was behaving with us for a while. She got really stupid with DH so many times during the planning and while after until she finally got married herself. She suddenly didn't care any more. Sounds like a misery wants company situation for her. She knows you take good care of O, she knows how much O loves and respects you, she knows that Eric is going to marry you and knows that he would have never married her. So she's feeling majorly threatened right now. But just like we told you to get over what threatened you about her at the time she needs to get over what threatens her about you. The more she behaves like this, the more it will become obvious to O and he will have some issues with things in one way shape or form. He might take issues with her or he could take issues with you because he doesn't want to hurt his mom, KWIM? In the end she's only hurting O.
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  #48  
December 23rd, 2012, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Why does she have to agree to it, isn't it something that needs to be done? And to not take him for a well child check since 2009, is so irresponsible. The fact that she's studying to become a nurse is scary. She's the wrong person, IMO, to be in that field. A person who self medicated a child with their own adult medicines, is not a person who should be a practicing nurse. Again, all my own opinion here.

Sorry she's being so wishy washy. Maybe the fact that you two are getting married and it's coming up fast is starting to bother her. I know it played a major factor in how BM was behaving with us for a while. She got really stupid with DH so many times during the planning and while after until she finally got married herself. She suddenly didn't care any more. Sounds like a misery wants company situation for her. She knows you take good care of O, she knows how much O loves and respects you, she knows that Eric is going to marry you and knows that he would have never married her. So she's feeling majorly threatened right now. But just like we told you to get over what threatened you about her at the time she needs to get over what threatens her about you. The more she behaves like this, the more it will become obvious to O and he will have some issues with things in one way shape or form. He might take issues with her or he could take issues with you because he doesn't want to hurt his mom, KWIM? In the end she's only hurting O.
Exactly. It scares me that she is going to be treating people. She has self diagnosed O so many times.

Eric caled her out on the asthma thing. It's not in his medical file. She said, "The Dr said he'd leave it out in case he wants to be an astronaut or a scuba diver when he grows up." Eric said, aside from that being absolute bull****, if that really did happen its completely irresponsible!

Eric and I have let go of all of our hatred towards her. Our paperwork is signed. That can't be reversed. We are getting what we want. Now she gets to be nice to us in order for her to get what she wants. (Which she WILL get because we aren't evil.)
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  #49  
December 23rd, 2012, 02:44 PM
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  #50  
December 23rd, 2012, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Ok for the record, I agree with a lot of stuff you vent about Jennifer. I agreed she shouldn't treat him with her inhaler, I agreed it was wrong of her to take him from school on a day that wasn't hers without Eric's permission. Everyone got hung up on the whole prayer thing. I'm not for or against prayer - it's a personal decision. It's just there are things you can enforce & things you can't. Her saying a prayer while she's talking to her son on the phone is not something you're going to be able to control.

It's in Dh's decree that neither of them can talk about money with the kids - yet bm lied to his oldest & told her he wasn't paying child support when he was & was paying alimony too 70% of his income btw. There wasn't anything we could do about it.n She also told both girls that their marriage ended because he & I were having an affair - we didn't even know each other then. She was the one having multiple affairs. It sucks but we can't control her nor can we take her to court without proof.

So it's best just to ignore those things as best you can. She's most likely trying to get a reaction from you. Do your best to ignore the stuff that isn't detrimental to O and hopefully she'll get bored with it. I agree with Liz that she's probably threatened & jealous that you guys are getting married. I know dh's ex got worse when we got married.
She commented many times that she feels like we have a happy little family and we are trying to push her out of O's life. he assured her that we are not nor can we do that. O is very loyal to his mom. He is also loyal to us. he doesnt tell either parent what he does with the other. He is very good at keeping the peace. He doesnt brag to her about what we do and he doesnt mention to us what they do.


And the prayer thing was never even mentioned to her. It just made me mad that she so blatantly broke the C/O but because SHE asked O why he wasnt going to school Thurs, and he said he had a dentist appt, she claims WE broke it by not telling her. We kindly forwarded the text from 10 days prior when I specifically said, "Okay we are all good for next Thursday at 10am."

Her whole extra day thing was bc she thought that we picked him up on Sat instead of Sunday. What actually happened was she dropped him off here at 9pm Sat. She then picked him up at 10am Sunday after asking us to dress him in nice clothes because she didnt have any clean ones for him and they were going to church. Then, that night at 6pm when we were supposed to pick him up, she wasnt there because she was on her way to bring him to our house. We have NEVER BROUGHT him to the other parent. We have always ONLY picked up from the other parent. I can't sit here and say that didn't worry me because this forgetful, irresponsible behavior is exactly how her relapse started last time. the things she does still worry me, but I try my hardest to give her the benefit of the doubt. When Eric explained, no you wont be getting any extra time bc u took him out of school and you got time then, she said, "did you have him a whole extra day?" How do you not remember when you had your kid?
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  #51  
December 24th, 2012, 11:56 AM
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M's mom was crazy when D and I got married. I mean posting links from ehow.com on her myspace page about how to break up a wedding crazy. Maybe it'll simmer down post wedding. I sincerely hope she's not backsliding but honestly....even if she is there isn't much you can do except get ready to shield O as much as possible from it.
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  #52  
December 24th, 2012, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
M's mom was crazy when D and I got married. I mean posting links from ehow.com on her myspace page about how to break up a wedding crazy. Maybe it'll simmer down post wedding. I sincerely hope she's not backsliding but honestly....even if she is there isn't much you can do except get ready to shield O as much as possible from it.
Unfortunately it's something we always have to keep in the back of our minds. She said on the phone last week herself that alcoholics have a very high rate of relapsing. I just really hope that wasn't foreshadowing. Not like we can do anything to keep him from her "just in case" lol. That would be absurd.

I hope once the holidays pass (I always hated the holidays when i was single AND she doesnt have O Christmas morning, we do,) and the wedding passes in march, she will realize nothing and nobody can take away the fact that she is O's mom. Yeah right now we may have more of a family unit, but time can change anything. Call it holiday spirit, but I really just want to be done fighting. And now that we got what we needed from her and the arrears is gone, it's likely to subside, for a while anyway...
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  #53  
December 25th, 2012, 05:37 PM
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I've said this before, my kids have asthma, my middle daughter the worse, like in the ER can't breath, face swells due ot lack of air and so on and so forth, no where in her medical file will you find the word asthma in it. it is very common practice that doctors will not write it in a chart for a child. if he doesn't need the inhaler that's one thing, but to say she is out right lying about the asthma because of his chart is another. and really if you meet my daughter you'd never know, she can run and play sports and everything is fine until it isn't. since time is split 50/50 it could be likely he does have a mild case and you just don't know it.

Also to say she hasn't taken her child for a well child check since 2009 is irresponsible, some people dont' get themselves physicals, and don't their kids unless they need shots for school, and from K they don't need any again until 6th (at least here)

she's crazy, and I"m sure she's making you and Eric crazy, but you can't beat crazy, just pick your battles and move on.
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  #54  
December 25th, 2012, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
I've said this before, my kids have asthma, my middle daughter the worse, like in the ER can't breath, face swells due ot lack of air and so on and so forth, no where in her medical file will you find the word asthma in it. it is very common practice that doctors will not write it in a chart for a child. if he doesn't need the inhaler that's one thing, but to say she is out right lying about the asthma because of his chart is another. and really if you meet my daughter you'd never know, she can run and play sports and everything is fine until it isn't. since time is split 50/50 it could be likely he does have a mild case and you just don't know it.

Also to say she hasn't taken her child for a well child check since 2009 is irresponsible, some people dont' get themselves physicals, and don't their kids unless they need shots for school, and from K they don't need any again until 6th (at least here)

she's crazy, and I"m sure she's making you and Eric crazy, but you can't beat crazy, just pick your battles and move on.
You've had to take your child to the ER for Asthma issues and it's NOT in her file. I think that's beyond irresponsible! What's going to happen in the future if she's rushed to the ER with out you there and given a medication that someone with Asthma (aka Restricted Airway Disease) cannot take?

If he has a mild case and the doctor has confirmed it, then the mother needs to provide medical record information to the father. Especially in a 50/50 situation. Her word isn't good enough, they deserve notes from the doctor.
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  #55  
December 25th, 2012, 06:43 PM
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my daughters medical plan of action isn't the discussion here. the point i was making was that it's a common practice. if Eric has concerns or questions and his ex isn't helping clarify things, or they aren't believing her; then make an appt with Owen's doctor to discuss things, they can tell you in plain english if he has asthma, or hints of it, or anything else for that matter. If he's over due for a physical use that appt as a place to discuss your concerns with his health, or over concern of his health by his mother.
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  #56  
December 25th, 2012, 09:05 PM
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Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
I've said this before, my kids have asthma, my middle daughter the worse, like in the ER can't breath, face swells due ot lack of air and so on and so forth, no where in her medical file will you find the word asthma in it. it is very common practice that doctors will not write it in a chart for a child. if he doesn't need the inhaler that's one thing, but to say she is out right lying about the asthma because of his chart is another. and really if you meet my daughter you'd never know, she can run and play sports and everything is fine until it isn't. since time is split 50/50 it could be likely he does have a mild case and you just don't know it.

Also to say she hasn't taken her child for a well child check since 2009 is irresponsible, some people dont' get themselves physicals, and don't their kids unless they need shots for school, and from K they don't need any again until 6th (at least here)

she's crazy, and I"m sure she's making you and Eric crazy, but you can't beat crazy, just pick your battles and move on.
well there are a lot of things we found out that arent in his medical file. Like his non existent heart murmor. The day after she told the Dentist he had all these things, we called the Dr and confirmed its not in his file. We already spoke with her about all of us going to the Dr during winter break and confirming what he does and does not have.

Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
You've had to take your child to the ER for Asthma issues and it's NOT in her file. I think that's beyond irresponsible! What's going to happen in the future if she's rushed to the ER with out you there and given a medication that someone with Asthma (aka Restricted Airway Disease) cannot take?

If he has a mild case and the doctor has confirmed it, then the mother needs to provide medical record information to the father. Especially in a 50/50 situation. Her word isn't good enough, they deserve notes from the doctor.
For someone that claims he has so many things wrong with him, it is VERY irresponsible not to get a well check. Shes claiming hes had asthma since age 5, yet age 5 was the last time he's been seen for a well check. She is a NURSING student, wouldnt she want the most updated medical history? She isnt taking him because she is diagnosing him herself and that is very unsafe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
my daughters medical plan of action isn't the discussion here. the point i was making was that it's a common practice. if Eric has concerns or questions and his ex isn't helping clarify things, or they aren't believing her; then make an appt with Owen's doctor to discuss things, they can tell you in plain english if he has asthma, or hints of it, or anything else for that matter. If he's over due for a physical use that appt as a place to discuss your concerns with his health, or over concern of his health by his mother.
And we did just that. It just blows my mind sometimes. She also claimed that him sleeping in her bed holding a baseball bat just in case "the bad guy" broke through their locked door didn't cause him any psychological damage. SMH
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  #57  
December 26th, 2012, 06:15 AM
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Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
You've had to take your child to the ER for Asthma issues and it's NOT in her file. I think that's beyond irresponsible! What's going to happen in the future if she's rushed to the ER with out you there and given a medication that someone with Asthma (aka Restricted Airway Disease) cannot take?

If he has a mild case and the doctor has confirmed it, then the mother needs to provide medical record information to the father. Especially in a 50/50 situation. Her word isn't good enough, they deserve notes from the doctor.
This. I had mild asthma when I was a child (I used one inhaler daily and had a second for when I was short of breath). I had no major asthma attacks and never went to the hospital. My medical file says that I have asthma. The same can be said for my brother.

You brought up your daughter's medical plan. I disagree that it's a common practice; as a matter of fact I find it highly unusual for a child to have an illness that can require immediate intervention, but that their doctor feels is not important enough to record in their medical file. I think, given all of the other anomalies between what O's mom says is medically wrong with me and what actual doctors have diagnosed, Eric and Jennifer are right to be suspicious. The fact that she's medicating him without the consent of a doctor (whether or not he actually has the illness they're supposedly treating, which I doubt) is deeply concerning.
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  #58  
December 26th, 2012, 06:33 AM
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I've had mild asthma since I was a preteen and it's always been marked in all my charts. My bri has it too and is very athletic, yet it's marked in his chart. I've worked in doctors offices in the past if a child has asthma it's marked, period. Maybe it's common practice by your doctor or area, but not everywhere. Also if you (general) have a child whom you suspect is an asthmatic, then yes, its highly irresponsible to not take them in for well checks. Also I do believe O is at an age where he should have been checked out because he turned 6 since 2009. Please correct me if I'm wrong here Jen.

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  #59  
December 26th, 2012, 09:15 AM
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If O has"asthma" such as his mom claims, how does his school nurse handle his problems without documentation from his doctor? At the school system all of the kids go to you cannot have any medication given at school, even inhalers without a current prescription, and for advanced medical problems that can get bad quickly, the nurse sends forms to the physician for documentation.

Robert has several meds he takes at school, some of which are controlled substances and either Jonah or I have to sign papers so that the nurse can give them.

If the condition can't be verified by the physician or a prescription in the child's name, no meds.

I have several medical problems, some major, some minor, asthma is one of those. I have an inhaler in the house and in the dash or the car for just in case, but all of my problems are listed in my health history with each of my doctors.

Last edited by pmdc5286; December 26th, 2012 at 09:18 AM.
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  #60  
December 26th, 2012, 10:50 AM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
This. I had mild asthma when I was a child (I used one inhaler daily and had a second for when I was short of breath). I had no major asthma attacks and never went to the hospital. My medical file says that I have asthma. The same can be said for my brother.

You brought up your daughter's medical plan. I disagree that it's a common practice; as a matter of fact I find it highly unusual for a child to have an illness that can require immediate intervention, but that their doctor feels is not important enough to record in their medical file. I think, given all of the other anomalies between what O's mom says is medically wrong with me and what actual doctors have diagnosed, Eric and Jennifer are right to be suspicious. The fact that she's medicating him without the consent of a doctor (whether or not he actually has the illness they're supposedly treating, which I doubt) is deeply concerning.
That is our only concern. He plays soccer right now. She has said to me many times, "I will have to get you an inhaler for him." When asked if it was prescribed to him, she says it is her inhaler but its the same prescription so its fine. This person is in NURSING school.

Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
I've had mild asthma since I was a preteen and it's always been marked in all my charts. My bri has it too and is very athletic, yet it's marked in his chart. I've worked in doctors offices in the past if a child has asthma it's marked, period. Maybe it's common practice by your doctor or area, but not everywhere. Also if you (general) have a child whom you suspect is an asthmatic, then yes, its highly irresponsible to not take them in for well checks. Also I do believe O is at an age where he should have been checked out because he turned 6 since 2009. Please correct me if I'm wrong here Jen.

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Yes the last time he went was Sept 2009, when he was 5. Prior to that, he went every year. 2010 is when she began having her own problems, so it seemed to us like she started neglecting him around the same time she started drinking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pmdc5286 View Post
If O has"asthma" such as his mom claims, how does his school nurse handle his problems without documentation from his doctor? At the school system all of the kids go to you cannot have any medication given at school, even inhalers without a current prescription, and for advanced medical problems that can get bad quickly, the nurse sends forms to the physician for documentation.

Robert has several meds he takes at school, some of which are controlled substances and either Jonah or I have to sign papers so that the nurse can give them.

If the condition can't be verified by the physician or a prescription in the child's name, no meds.

I have several medical problems, some major, some minor, asthma is one of those. I have an inhaler in the house and in the dash or the car for just in case, but all of my problems are listed in my health history with each of my doctors.
Correct. HE has no Rx for it. She apparently does. So if something were to happen at school, they could do nothing.

We're not simply trying to prove her wrong. We're not trying to be able to say, "Told you so! Once again you suck at being a mom!" We are trying to VERIFY what he actually has. He told her point blank he will apologize if they go to the Dr and he does have it. Medicating a child that does NOT have asthma is just as bad as NOT medicating one who does. (With his OWN Rx)
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Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to Owen - TTC our first together- 1 year and counting
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