Log In Sign Up

Does the hurt ever stop?


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
December 28th, 2012, 10:59 AM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
I know the answer to this, because I know it never will. but I wanted your take on it.

Does the hurt ever stop? when your kids bio parent isn't there, doesn't step up, isn't in their life as they should be (using should losely)

What are ways you've come to help your kids cope with the let down and disappointment of it?
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
December 28th, 2012, 11:12 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
When it comes to my boys their mom has been gone for 3.5 of the last 7 years. And now will be gone for an indefinite amount of time. We try to spend more time with them. To show them that they are loved we reassure them that thier mom DOES love them but that she made bad choices and has to get herself straightened out before she can be a part of their lives again. B really has taken on an indifferent approach. He calls me his mom(still calls me Liz by name but introduces me as his mom and talks about me like his mom) He even told me once that even though she is his mother that I will always be his mom because I never left them. K sees it different. I'm the woman his dad married. His mom will always be everything to him and it causes problems for a while when she leaves. But then he realizes that things are the same with the exception of the weekends he saw his mom and his behavior actually gets better than it was before she dissappeared. So it's normally hard for a while but then it gets easier.
__________________
Me 26

DD A:3 Autism, Global Developmental Delays


Reply With Quote
  #3  
December 28th, 2012, 11:18 AM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
my kids it's not in and out. well hasn't been since umm like 2008/2009 maybe he came once for an afternoon and that was the first time since 2003/2004. no contact since then. there's things that come up. like now that S and I live together. L made comment about her dream came true, she always wanted ot build a snow man with her dad, and S did that with her and her sister. it was sweet but then not at the same time. kwim?

I'm dissapointed because he(ex) wasn't this man till after things started to fall apart with us. so to know he isn't the dad he used to be and was for his older daughter and was till we seperated it's like grrr/ugh/sigh/ but it just seems like I think the kids are fine, and then something comes up and it's like whoa what just happened there.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
December 28th, 2012, 12:13 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
I wish I knew. This is all new to us. We've never had her living with us so we've never had to deal with the disappointment from her mom before. We just try to remind her that nothing is her fault and it's the choices her mom has made. That her mom still loves her she just doesn't know how to love her at times. It's hard to see the kids hurt over their other parent.
__________________

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



Reply With Quote
  #5  
December 28th, 2012, 01:22 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,291
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Not applicable in our situation.

But it was for my sister. Her mother abused the hell out of her in many ways until at 11 her grandparents figured it out and took her from the home. They asked my mother to please do what ever they could to teach their grand daughter what a mother should be. So she did, and since her mid 20's when Trine let go of the anger towards her own mother, she's viewed my mom has her mom. Mom's all she's got now since the grandparents who raised her, as well as dad are all gone (she lost them all in 4m in 2010).
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
Reply With Quote
  #6  
December 28th, 2012, 02:41 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,674
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
No, not really. For us it didn't last long. I think I liked it better when we didn't hear from her and they didn't see her.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
December 29th, 2012, 07:14 AM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: GA
Posts: 1,689
Send a message via AIM to pmdc5286 Send a message via Yahoo to pmdc5286
Sean's bio father has never really been a part of his life with the exception of a few months while Sean was in 5th grade. It bothered him some when he was younger (primary and elementary school) but now he is fine with the situation and says it is his dad's loss, that he has not lost out on anything because he has had enough men to be dad's to him when he needs it.
__________________
Patty

TTC #3, Our first together



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:43 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0