Log In Sign Up

This weekend should be interesting....


Forum: Blended Families

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By Ember Rose
  • 1 Post By K.A.T

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 6th, 2013, 01:17 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,392
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
I was gathering up dishes tonight, and noticed Reme had stashed his two drinking cups (the lidded type with straws that are popular) in a corner. Well Reme hasn't been here in a week. *crap*

They're moldy. Well, was the last straw.

This weekend is "Reme gets to learn how to do chores" weekend. DH's fully on board, as we had been discussing it. Now we just need to figure out a way to make it fun, so he doesn't flip his wig.


Is 7 too young to start paying him to do chores? Since he's not here all the time I was thinking a quarter a meal for taking care of his dishes (2 meals a day), a quarter to make his bed... does this sound crazy? Keep in mind Reme's got some special needs including poor fine motor skills. Doing this stuff is a challenge for him, but I think the time has come where he's got to learn. He doesn't do anything at home, and he's starting to treat DH and I like maids, and we notice that, even at his young age, he talks down on women. He's told us several times he's going to get a wife so she can do his laundry (despite the fact he sees DH do laundry frequently). Since we can't control what he does at home, he will just have to do things here with us.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.

Last edited by plan4fate; January 6th, 2013 at 01:23 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 6th, 2013, 06:03 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,358
I don't think it's too young. My 6 yo dsd has been helping empty the dishwasher for over a year, and all of them including my almost-4 yo dss know that they need to throw away their napkins and put their plates and forks in the dishwasher. The littlest sometimes needs help, but that's about it. We don't bother with beds because with so many kids, they inevitably end up playing on them and they wouldn't stay nicely made anyway (and I'd rather have them goofing around in their bedrooms than playing on screens), and honestly dh and I don't make our bed most days , so I'm not sure what age that becomes reasonably easy. I think it's worth a try though.
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 6th, 2013, 06:41 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,680
I do not think 7 is too young to help out around the house. Since he is not used to doing any chores he will probably get upset, but don't let him win. No reason why a 7 year old can not help out around the house. And honestly I think it would do him a disservice to let him grow up having no household responsibility!

As for payment, we don't pay the kids for chores around here. We tell them all that we all make the mess so we all should pitch in to clean it up. Its "our" house and we should all want it clean.
__________________
Mom2more






Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 6th, 2013, 07:04 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,358
Yeah, we don't pay either, because no one pays us to clean up after ourselves. But I don't think it's a bad idea to offer him an incentive.

I wanted to add that we also have them clean up their own toys, including the littlest (he occasionally needs help, but I encourage him to do it on his own a lot more often). He'll complain about it the whole time (and I can't tell you how much it makes me giggle to watch him picking up his blocks, saying, "Uggghhh, I HATE cleaning. Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?!") and he usually needs some level of supervision, but it gets done.
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 6th, 2013, 08:53 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 971
Never to young to help out!!

Sophia is in charge of her room, she has to take care of her dishes, she is in charge of keeping the sink clean in her bathroom.

If she goes the whole week doing it with no reminders I will give her the change in the bottom of my purse. She usually splits the money in half and puts half in her bank and half in the Christmas jar. The Christmas jar we cash in and give to a needy family around the holidays.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 6th, 2013, 10:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,769
never too young! I make my stepkids help around, mostly just picking up after themselves, but they don't do that at their moms so it's a battle sometimes..
I will start giving Audrey little "chores" this summer, she'll be 2.
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #7  
January 6th, 2013, 12:15 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,392
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
Yeah, we don't pay either, because no one pays us to clean up after ourselves. But I don't think it's a bad idea to offer him an incentive.

I wanted to add that we also have them clean up their own toys, including the littlest (he occasionally needs help, but I encourage him to do it on his own a lot more often). He'll complain about it the whole time (and I can't tell you how much it makes me giggle to watch him picking up his blocks, saying, "Uggghhh, I HATE cleaning. Why do I have to do EVERYTHING?!") and he usually needs some level of supervision, but it gets done.
Oh word... this is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Reme. He's also a "I'm going to pick up the lego's one.single.piece.at.a.time... kid. We had to buy him a mini dustpan to have it take a fraction of the time. And even then at first he tried to start putting them on the pan one at a time.


We talked about it last night, and I'm going to go buy some stickers. Each chore completed, with effort, with minimal whining earns him a sticker. Each sticker is worth something. Once he accumulates enough stickers, we will give him real money. (that way we aren't wasting our much coveted laundry quarters). If he doesn't complete the task, with enough effort, with 2 tries, we take away a quarter he has to give US a sticker (quarter). Some of this, like his bed, he will need help with. But if he's not putting out effort he not only doesn't earn a quarter, but he loses one.

DH said we should offer him extra incentives.. like if he rinses someone elses dish as well as his own (dishwasher is going to have to wait. we know he can get the plate to the counter, then drag over the stool, get it into the sink, and use the brush to wash it off... but I don't think his coordination and hand strength would let him get it into the dishwasher with out dropping it). he can earn extra stickers. since other things, like brushing his teeth are a chore (oral sensory disorder) we're going to add that one to the list too. He'd live in the tub, so I'm not going to give him quarters to bathe, he'd start demanding 20baths a day. lol.


also offering an incentive for reading. For every "age appropriate" book he and his dad read, I'll give him a quarter up to $1 a day. This one may change depending on what his IEP meeting that DH is going to says on Tuesday.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
January 6th, 2013, 02:27 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
We had chores for the kids, didnt work out to well. I was stressed out by having to go after them and clean up what they didn't and then when dad finally helped it was still pulling teeth with them. It just became easier to do it myself. and we were paying them 5 a week. The 2nd oldest decided that bc if she doesnt do it right the first time and that meant that they lost their 5 dollars, that she just wasnt going to do it. Now we just have 2 sk here during the week and have them on monday's clean their bathroom, wednesdays sweep and mop the house, and fridays they are to bring me their laundry. no money.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #9  
January 6th, 2013, 02:44 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
Oh word... this is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Reme. He's also a "I'm going to pick up the lego's one.single.piece.at.a.time... kid. We had to buy him a mini dustpan to have it take a fraction of the time. And even then at first he tried to start putting them on the pan one at a time.
That's too funny. S actually picks them up somewhat quickly (for his age and the fact that he has tiny hands) but he gripes and moans and complains the ENTIRE time. At his age, I just care that he does it, so I mostly ignore the whining or respond with, "I'm sorry that you hate it." or "I know, buddy. It stinks when we have to do things that aren't fun, doesn't it?" or "You're cleaning up the toys because it was you who was playing with them." or if it's late, or the mess is a little huge, "I will help you with your blocks if you finish picking up the trains and the tracks." The biggest thing with him is that if no one supervises him, he'll sometimes get distracted and just start playing with the toys instead of putting them back into the bins.

It sounds like you guys have a pretty good system worked out. I hope that it helps!
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
January 6th, 2013, 02:52 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
I just went today to Dollar tree and in the teacher section they have charts for classrooms and stuff I got a set for the boys it has Monday-Friday because we just give them their 2 normal chores on the weekends and weekdays they will have anywhere from 3-5 depending on what needs done around the house. But they are fairly easy Take out the trash, unload the dishwasher, feed the dogs, empty the dryer. Things that don't take forever to do. And if they can do them right for a certain amount of time they get a reward, $10 videogame, lunch out, something like that.
__________________
Me 26

DD A:3 Autism, Global Developmental Delays


Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 6th, 2013, 03:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
What you have sounds good. I like the idea of paying him because he teaches him the value of money, both in getting it and having it. If you just give him money he learns how to manage it but there's a disconnect between having to work for money and getting it.
Keakie likes this.
__________________
J Married to D 08.21.2009
Bonus Mama to R (14) and M (7)
Warm up your home with a fabulous warmer and some of our scentsational scents! PM me for details!!!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
January 6th, 2013, 03:34 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,392
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
yeah,and he's a money hungry little beast too. I think if I worked out how many stickers bought him a skylander, he'd be asking mom for chores too. LOL.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
January 7th, 2013, 09:18 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Good luck with the chores. I don't think it's too young. I pay for chores, but I have older kids who travel for school. With Kev, he can earn $.50 for helping with chores. Other than that, he's to keep his room clean with no money.
Ember Rose likes this.
__________________

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 7th, 2013, 12:06 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,392
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
^^ we are the ones who mess up his room. He's rather picky about where things have to be. His bed is his weak spot... He trashes it every night in his sleep... so I think it's only fair now that he learns how to do it. He keeps asking for siblings, and I'm not going to be able to crawl onto his futon pregnant and keep it made.. it'd collapse. lol
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
January 7th, 2013, 02:17 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 114,816
Send a message via Yahoo to Rachel
We don't pay for chores around the house either. And 7 is not too young! I hope it went well!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:38 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0