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  #1  
January 28th, 2013, 05:21 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,160
A few weeks ago O's mom basically threw a fit to the soccer coach that she hasn't yet been added to the email list. Understandable. She didn't need to say "I am his MOTHER I should be receiving any communication about my child." We get it, lady.

Okay fine. Any time I get an email from the coach, I check for her email. Any time it hasn't been there I have sent a friendly text like "Hey got an email, didn't see your name, xyz.."

Last week, I said, "I know you probably got the email, but his game was cancelled due to the rain." (she had him that day and lives about 25 minutes from the location.)

I received no response. I figured since she was getting the emails now, I shouldn't text her because it could be perceived as being pushy. She is his mother, after all.

Today I got another email. Practice today was cancelled. Her email was on it. I did not text her.

I got a text at 6:05 that said "Was practice today cancelled or something?"

I said, "Yeah, I saw your name on the email list so I didn't text you, I figured you'd gotten it."

I feel a little bad, but also, don't complain about not being on the email list if you AREN'T going to check the emails!
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Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to Owen - TTC our first together- 1 year and counting
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  #2  
January 28th, 2013, 06:50 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,679
Dont feel bad. She made a big deal about getting the e-mail. She got it. Its on her.
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  #3  
January 29th, 2013, 08:37 AM
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not your job to keep her informed if she is getting the same info you are.
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  #4  
January 29th, 2013, 11:54 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Don't feel bad, she slacked not you.
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  #5  
January 29th, 2013, 05:52 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,160
She just called him. We were in the family room and we heard him start crying and say "I dont wanna talk about itttttttttttt." And then he asked if they could hang up.

He refused to talk to us about it. He claims she asked about school which is BS. He said, "My mom told me she is my mom and I am allowed to have private conversations with her."

Then she texts Eric and says, "Are you still listening in on his phone calls. He doesnt like it. It upsets him." He told her that we dont listen in on phone calls but we do make him stay in the same room so he doesnt watch TV and ignore their convo.

I cant stand her. I went in the room and started crying. I hate that she uses her child as a weapon. I hate her I hate her I hate her. She is an evil person.

The last 5 or 6 weeks she has been unbearable. She has caused us issues every single week and I am getting tired of it!
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Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to Owen - TTC our first together- 1 year and counting
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  #6  
January 29th, 2013, 09:29 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: sunny state
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I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I could tell you it ill get better but I doubt it
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  #7  
January 30th, 2013, 03:21 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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I am sorry you are dealing with this. I wish I could tell you it gets better as the child gets older. K is almost 18 and just this week we have has issues with the ex. (((((Hugs)$)))
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  #8  
January 30th, 2013, 09:35 AM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Thanks guys. I vented to Eric a little bit about how it's terrible that she will make her child cry just to prove to us she can do whatever she wants (or so she thinks.)

Eric says we cant force O to tell us what she said because then it makes us just as bad as her. He said she is going to play tug of war with O no matter what we do so if we are the house that DOESNT do it, we stand a better chance of having a better outcome. We talked to him and told him the last few weeks he has been emotional. Hes been crying a lot over nothing. He said he hates that his mom and dad yell at each other. He knows they wont be together and he loves me but he loves them both and doesnt want to have to choose.

We DONT want to feel like we are making him choose. We asked him if he'd like a special grown up friend to talk to. He seemed very excited about the idea. So I am off today and Eric is home and we are going to find him a child counselor to talk to. He needs it. It's time. We gave her plenty of time to do this on her own as she wanted a church based person. But we're not going to sit by and watch this child suffer because his mother is a procrastinator.

So yeah. Last night we took him out to dinner and then when we came home we kept all tvs and video games off and just hung out and cuddled and had some family time. At one point he climbed on top of me and wrapped his arms around me and said "Mommyyyyyyy." In a cute little way. I love that he still considers me a mother figure to him. It seems to me that he is trying to differentiate the type of mother I am vs. the type of mother she is. And for the record, he's never heard me say a bad word about her.

Deep breaths. It'll all work out.
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  #9  
January 30th, 2013, 01:22 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
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Wish I had some words other than I'm sorry.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
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  #10  
January 30th, 2013, 07:23 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,160
It's starting to happen. He's starting to question her.

Tonight at soccer, she didn't sit by us. Didn't say a word to us. When soccer was done, he went over to her and grabbed her phone and started playing plants vs zombies. As we were leaving she walked a few steps next to us and started talking to him. He said he wanted to spend a night with her. She said something to him and he turned to me and said, "But I can spend time with jennifer." i assumed he meant tonight so I pointed to Eric and I said "You know this guy? He's your dad!" meaning Eric doesnt work tonight and it wouldnt just be me and him.

We get to the car and she asks for a hug. He hugs her and then looks at her. And says, "The next time I hear you yell at my dad I'm gonna be mad. And when I tell you to stop yelling at him, don't just tell me you're allowed to yell at him because you're not! That's my dad and it makes me upset when you yell at him so just STOP IT!"

Eric interrupted him and said, "O, this is a conversation you can have with your mom in private, not in public. Let's go home."

We get home, expecting a text from her to Eric about what she feels Eric did wrong or whatever.

Instead, I got one.

"I dont know what you think you overheard from the conversation my son and I were having.. why did you tell him his dad is Eric?"

I said "O turned towards me and said he could spend time with me. I assumed he meant tonight and I was merely reminding him that his dad does not work tonight."

"Actually, O and I were having a private conversation. U assumed incorrectly, which happens when you havent heard the whole conversation. Please respect our relationship."

I didn't reply. She is off her rocker. Eric and I have made a pact that if it does not directly relate to O's well being or safety, we will no longer be replying to any text messages from her. If it gets bad, we are going to file an order that says she may only contact Eric via email unless it is an emergency. She done gone crazy!
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  #11  
January 30th, 2013, 09:39 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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wow. I can tell you I have had better and WORSE! The best way is to tell her to loose your number and have Eric tell her the same thing to lose your number. I could tell you that she might but we did that with bm1 and every once in a while she still seems to txt me about stupid stuff. I just find it easier to not talk to her. She complains that Im not friendly to her and that I need to be, but when she calls me names Im dont tend to be a nice person.
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  #12  
January 31st, 2013, 09:43 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Poor O. I think things are reaching a point where it might be better for you to ignore her texts. Don't give her an extra convenient way to be crazy and intrusive.
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  #13  
January 31st, 2013, 10:32 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Can you block her number? It's time you cut the ties between the two of you. This is why BM never got my cell phone number. As long as there is a house phone there was no need for her to have my private direct line. If you can't block and if it's possible to change your number, I would do that.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #14  
January 31st, 2013, 10:46 AM
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I agree with the others. You need to stop answering her and letting Eric deal with her crazy.
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  #15  
January 31st, 2013, 03:11 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The only problem is that when Eric is at work, my phone is the one used to call her when she asks to speak to O.

We have already decided that neither of us will be playing into her crazy. When I didn't reply last night, she left us alone. She was only lashing out at me because O lashed out at her.

If it doesn't directly involve O's immediate safety or well being, she will be getting ignored by me from now on.

I am 38 days from marrying the man I love. I have MUCH more exciting things to focus on!
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  #16  
January 31st, 2013, 03:46 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
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Oh you guys don't have a land line. Yeah it makes it harder then.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #17  
January 31st, 2013, 03:53 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Ugh... that poor kid.


And this woman's off her rocker.
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  #18  
January 31st, 2013, 06:40 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really just wish she would see what she's doing to him. She sits here and says all we do is try to take him away from her.

SHE needs to be the one to HAVE a relationship with her child. I'm not going to apologize for loving him like I SHOULD!

The 5 minutes he spent with her after soccer practice, he sat, not facing her, playing a game on her phone. She bribes him into this "quality time" with her.

Last week she dropped him off at his grandmas at 7pm after soccer and picked him up Thursday after dinner. I get doing what you have to do, but don't make us feel guilty because you cant spend your whole week with him.

He told us yesterday that she thinks that if shes not available he should be with his grandma, not us. But if ERIC isnt available, he should be with HER, not me.
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  #19  
January 31st, 2013, 08:08 PM
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Follow the CO. Don't respond to her ****ery. She's not gonna be rational, or do what's right for O because she doesn't care. She just doesn't.
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  #20  
January 31st, 2013, 11:59 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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We are having issues with the whole "who should he be with" thing lately too... She asked us on Monday if we could pick him up Today and said "usually I'd get mom to, but she's out of town."

Argh... your mom should NEVER be picking him up from school, that's his father's job. My DH = Not pleased.
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashi's, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Colposcopy = CIN1+CIN2 cells Polypectomy - August 21st
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015. Vitamins started August 2nd
Trying a few cycles of clomid and progesterone. FX this is all it takes.
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