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  • 1 Post By AtomicMama

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  #1  
February 13th, 2013, 07:35 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Hi! I'm new to this board and new to being a blended family, but I've been around JM for awhile! DH and I got legally married a week and a half ago. We each have one child. His daughter is 4 1/2 and he shares 50/50 custody (one week with each parent). My son is 2 1/2, and I have full legal and physical custody of my son. His father has met him, but they do not have an ongoing relationship. We have not heard from his father in about a year and a half now. That said, I have no ill will towards him, and he is generally a good person.

DH and I are still planning our wedding for December, but we do live together. With the children, we felt it was more appropriate to be legally married when we moved in together. I love my little family, but I do sometimes feel a little alone in step mama world None of my close friends are step parents. DH is Max's daddy, in all practical senses. I know how to be a mom, but I don't know how to be a step mom. I love his little girl just as though she were my own, but I respect that she is not and that she has a mom. I struggle with knowing how to help her adjust to the family we have created. I struggle with knowing boundaries. Outwardly, I try to be loving towards her mom, and I do truly respect the relationship she and her mom share. But inwardly, and as a wife, I struggle with (this is me being brutally honest) jealousy towards my DHs ex-wife.

That's a lot for an introduction I just wanted to say hi and share a little bit of my story.
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Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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  #2  
February 13th, 2013, 09:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,684
Hi!
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J Married to D 08.21.2009
Bonus Mama to R (14) and M (7)
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  #3  
February 13th, 2013, 09:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,769
Hi! and welcome!
I'm Samantha and I have a Daughter (almost 2) with my DH and he has two children from a previous relationship Ethan 7 and Kayley 5
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  #4  
February 13th, 2013, 09:32 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,405
Hi and welcome to Blended Families! I'm happy that it sounds like you have a fairly peaceful situation. Congratulations on your marriage!

For what it's worth, a lot of those struggles and feelings sound normal. Most of us have been there, at one time or another.

Looking forward to getting to know you!
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  #5  
February 13th, 2013, 10:58 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Thanks everyone I look forward to getting to know you ladies as well!
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Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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  #6  
February 13th, 2013, 08:27 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Hey there. I do believe we've posted on the debate boards in the past. Welcome to the group. You'll find a good mix of ladies here on both sides of the fence. Some of us even straddle the fence.
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  #7  
February 13th, 2013, 10:17 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
Max and I share the same birthday!
Hi I'm Angi fiance to Patrick mother of a and b and step mom to 3
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  #8  
February 14th, 2013, 08:35 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Hi! K.A.T. I think you're right I've been too busy too even peek in there lately though

That's really neat, Angi! September is a good month!
stucklikeglue likes this.
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Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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  #9  
February 14th, 2013, 10:46 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,680
Welcome! I joined this board for the same reason! Don't have anyone in real life who is in my situation and wanted somewhere to go for support, to vent, and to throw ideas around with! Its a great place here. People will not beat around the bush or sugar coat things though, so be prepared

I think your feelings are common. Blending families is a process, with bumps along the way. And jealousy of an ex is pretty normal, I know I have had it! ITs hard not to think about your man having shared a life and child with another woman. It gets easier though.
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  #10  
February 14th, 2013, 11:33 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Thank you! It's nice to know I'm not the only one with these feelings And it's good to hear that it gets easier, too!
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Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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  #11  
February 15th, 2013, 07:19 AM
Megs982's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Washington, IL
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Hi! Congrats on the marriage and starting your blended family

Im Megan, mommy to Christian, Emilee, Dakota and Brooklynn and Fiance to James.. He has two boys Logan & Landen..

There are struggles but imo they are worth it
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  #12  
February 15th, 2013, 08:17 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 6
Congrats on your marriage! You sound like a terrific stepmom--you love his little girl and you have respect for her relationship with her BM. I'm sure you will figure out the boundaries as you go along. I heard a really helpful program called "Thriving in Your Role as a Stepmom I-II" on the Focus on the Family website..you can listen to it free. Hope it helps!

Last edited by girlnextdoornco; February 15th, 2013 at 08:20 AM.
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  #13  
February 15th, 2013, 01:36 PM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
welcome!
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  #14  
February 15th, 2013, 02:09 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Welcome!!
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