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Hi! I'm new to this board and new to being a blended family, but I've been around JM for awhile! DH and I got legally married a week and a half ago. We each have one child. His daughter is 4 1/2 and he shares 50/50 custody (one week with each parent). My son is 2 1/2, and I have full legal and physical custody of my son. His father has met him, but they do not have an ongoing relationship. We have not heard from his father in about a year and a half now. That said, I have no ill will towards him, and he is generally a good person.
DH and I are still planning our wedding for December, but we do live together. With the children, we felt it was more appropriate to be legally married when we moved in together. I love my little family, but I do sometimes feel a little alone in step mama world None of my close friends are step parents. DH is Max's daddy, in all practical senses. I know how to be a mom, but I don't know how to be a step mom. I love his little girl just as though she were my own, but I respect that she is not and that she has a mom. I struggle with knowing how to help her adjust to the family we have created. I struggle with knowing boundaries. Outwardly, I try to be loving towards her mom, and I do truly respect the relationship she and her mom share. But inwardly, and as a wife, I struggle with (this is me being brutally honest) jealousy towards my DHs ex-wife.
That's a lot for an introduction I just wanted to say hi and share a little bit of my story.
Welcome! I joined this board for the same reason! Don't have anyone in real life who is in my situation and wanted somewhere to go for support, to vent, and to throw ideas around with! Its a great place here. People will not beat around the bush or sugar coat things though, so be prepared
I think your feelings are common. Blending families is a process, with bumps along the way. And jealousy of an ex is pretty normal, I know I have had it! ITs hard not to think about your man having shared a life and child with another woman. It gets easier though.
Congrats on your marriage! You sound like a terrific stepmom--you love his little girl and you have respect for her relationship with her BM. I'm sure you will figure out the boundaries as you go along. I heard a really helpful program called "Thriving in Your Role as a Stepmom I-II" on the Focus on the Family website..you can listen to it free. Hope it helps!
Last edited by girlnextdoornco; February 15th, 2013 at 08:20 AM.
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