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Been lurking a little bit on this board and it seems like a solid, respectful forum for step-mommying issues...
A little about my situation: DF and I are getting married in July. He has one son, S, age 3.5. S's mom's house is about 3 minutes driving (easily walkable) from my house with DF. When S stays with DF we spend our time at DF's parents' place--until after our wedding in 5 months; then we will begin transitioning to 2 primary residences. Make sense? We are casually TTC (will crack down after the wedding) but I have PCOS and tried unsuccessfully for 3 years with my ex, so it will probably be awhile.
Overall, our situation with S and BM could be SO much worse! I remind myself of this every day, when I start to feel overwhelmed or frustrated. For the most part DF and S's mom are very civil. They see each other every afternoon to pass off S (DF picks him up from school and spends time with him; he goes home for dinner, bath and bedtime with mama every night). We have been working pretty well as a unit to get past the hurt feelings, insecurities and fears, but lately BM has distanced herself.
At first I thought great, this is healthy, she needs distance and her own space/life. But now she's announced she's firing the therapist all 3 of us see for being "judgmental of her spiritual path" and obviously, DF and I are a little freaked by this, not having any idea what this means. Our therapist is wonderful, and never judgmental. BM has planned a "retreat" for Spring Break so DF will have S; but she refuses to tell us where she is going or why.
So that's as much as we know about that. I struggle with all kinds of anger, resentment and jealousy towards her, but I don't need to get into all of that now...I'm sure it's nothing y'all haven't been through in some form, and it's sure to come up soon enough, so for now
Hi! And I hope to get to know you all better soon!
We stayed with my il's while we had my dsc for awhile too. For us, it was a space issue. I'm glad that your situation with bm is better than average, and hope that whatever weirdness is going on with her and her retreats/issues with the therapist clears itself up.