[Zoes_Mommy]

I have been lurking this board and thought I would go ahead and introduce myself and join in! I am Natashia 29 I have a daughter Zoe who is 7. I am in the midst of getting divorced from her Father. I have been in a relationship with my new bf since June of last year we are very serious and are in the process of moving in together and ttc a child of our own together. Here is where things get complicated he is also going through a divorce and has a biological daughter who is 3 and a step daughter who is 4 that he has raised since she was 6 months old. In the seperation agreement he had with his ex it states they can not have any significant others around the kids which I can understand to a point to avoid having lots of people in and out of their lives because my ex is on his 2nd gf since we split. Anyway his ex does not like me and is always bad mouthing me. Even though I have never met either one of his kids I still buy them things and got them tons of christmas presents and try to make sure their mother knows I will always treat them the same as my own. My bf only gets to see them on Sundays they spend the whole day together the reason he agreed to this is because she said if he didn't she would not let him see the oldest who is not his. She is constantly telling the little girl that he is not her father and doesnt love her when she gets mad at him which is wrong on so many levels it just really bothers me. What worries me the most is we are trying to get a lawyer so he can see them more and I can meet them. I am pretty postive his biological daughter is the only one we will end up getting rights to as far as visitation and it bothers me that its going to really hurt the oldest when her sister gets to go stay with the only daddy she has ever known and she doesnt. I just wanted to see if anyone had any input or suggestions for my situation. Thanks in advance for anyone who was able to read all of this and give any input!

[stucklikeglue]

Hi, I would definitely hire a lawyer. I dont really have any more advice then that. good luck and welcome

[LifeToTheMax]

Definitely hire a lawyer Laws, especially custody laws, vary so greatly by state that a lawyer in your state will best be able to help you determine your BFs rights in this case. I'm suer you've discussed this, but are you and your BF planning to get married after your divorces are finalized. Again, the lawyer will know how that may help you case in your state, but I know where I am being married to my DH looks significantly better to the court and allows us more rights where SD is involved.

If you cannot have any legal rights to his oldest, as hard as it is, it's still going to be best to have something in writing. It sounds like his divorce is still fairly new? That would mean emotions are high and logic and the children's best interest might not be in his ex's mind right now. I would give it time. If he continues to be actively involved in his biological daughters life and her sister continues to show interest in seeing him, I would imagine it won't take too long for her mother to realize that it truly is in her best interest to be allowed access to someone who played such a huge role in raising her.

[Zoes_Mommy]

Thank you guys for the input.
We are def looking into a lawyer to get things going. I am just going to be patient and hope for the best.

[Ember Rose]

Did he adopt his stepchild?

[Zoes_Mommy]

No he tried to and his ex's mom pitched a fit and did not want him too. Therefore I am positive there is nothing he is going to be able to do once he does get a lawyer about seeing her. Like I told him its not fair to his biological daughter not to get to spend more time with him. I just hope and pray the mother comes to her senses and does not try to keep the oldest away. I guess only time will tell..

[K.A.T]

Man that's a rough situation. I'm not sure how the laws work in your area. If he has no legal rights to the older child, then he might just be out of luck so to speak there. However, seeing a lawyer and getting the real legal advice is the best way to go right now.