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  • 1 Post By Ember Rose
  • 1 Post By Stepmom2Be

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  #1  
March 4th, 2013, 04:27 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So for the last few weeks, O has had some stomach pain here and there. He went home from school about 3 weeks ago feeling sick to his stomach. He rested and felt fine the next day.

Last week, his stomach was hurting on and off. he pointed to his left side and said it felt like a cramp from running. It didn't hinder much of his day to day activities.

BM took him to the Dr today. Without telling us until after she had taken him. She has self diagnosed him with encopresis. Read about it here. Encopresis - PubMed Health

Here's the thing. I work with emotionally disabled kids. I have one student who was molested as a child, and as a result, has this. His privates have become desensitized. He pees himself at least twice a day, and doesn't know he does it. Sometimes he poops himself.

Aside from the occasional skid mark when doing laundry, O has never done this. He had an accident one morning while playing video games, but I put a stop to that and told him if he ever did that again due to not wanting to put the game down I'd take it away.

Also-

She's taking him in for bloodwork tomorrow to test for a multitude of things. She noted food allergies and lactose intolerance. Because she thinks he is lactose intolerant.

And she got paperwork on ADD because she thinks he has that too.

This all comes a month or so AFTER we officially find out he does NOT have asthma, or a heart murmor.
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  #2  
March 4th, 2013, 05:41 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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You should ask her if, when she makes these computer chair diagnoses, she ever does any reading about Munchausen Syndrome. What a nut.

I wish there was something you could do about it, but unfortunately I don't think there is. I'm sorry she's putting O through all kinds of crap that he more than likely doesn't have anything serious going on.
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  #3  
March 4th, 2013, 05:42 PM
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Have you not told the doctor's office that you have to make medical choices together and that Eric needs to be informed? And showed them the order?
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  #4  
March 4th, 2013, 05:51 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
You should ask her if, when she makes these computer chair diagnoses, she ever does any reading about Munchausen Syndrome. What a nut.

I wish there was something you could do about it, but unfortunately I don't think there is. I'm sorry she's putting O through all kinds of crap that he more than likely doesn't have anything serious going on.
We are on board with the bloodwork. We want to, once again, rule out everything she claims he has. However, this can't be teaching O anything good. I worry that he sees how much attention his mom gives him when he is "sick" and exaggerates the "symptoms" around her.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ember Rose View Post
Have you not told the doctor's office that you have to make medical choices together and that Eric needs to be informed? And showed them the order?
They have a copy of the court order in their files. They did call when she ordered blood work and said he had to agree to it. We have a call in to the Dr to see how they got to this diagnoses. Because in reality, she probably learned about this disease (she's taking peds classes right now,) and lied about his symptoms.
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  #5  
March 4th, 2013, 05:57 PM
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Can you explain how the order is supposed to work and have them start calling the other parent whenever he has an appointment scheduled?
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  #6  
March 4th, 2013, 10:29 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That's what our plan is. Eric was home all day, awake and sitting around the house wedding planning.

Last time we took him, we said she had concerns that he has adhd and she said "I NEVER said that!"

yet today, while we were not present, she talked all about adhd.

Eric should always be given the opportunity to go to any scheduled Dr's appt. he should not receive a "Hey i took O to the Dr text." He should receive a "Hey I am taking O to the dr do you want to come" phone call.

her lack of consideration for others is astounding. Her double standards are frightening.
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  #7  
March 5th, 2013, 09:27 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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That is baffling. Hopefully the doctor's office will start calling your DH when she schedule's appointments, so he can go and give his perception of O's symptom's as well. The hard thing is that some of her hypohtesis at some point may not be totally off base. He may (not saying he does, just as an example) coincidentally have lactose intolerance or a food allergy. And she will take that a sign that she needs to be vigilant on her self-diagnosis.
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  #8  
March 5th, 2013, 09:50 AM
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How frustrating.

How can she make this stuff up. It's wrong on so many levels!
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  #9  
March 5th, 2013, 11:37 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
We are on board with the bloodwork. We want to, once again, rule out everything she claims he has. However, this can't be teaching O anything good. I worry that he sees how much attention his mom gives him when he is "sick" and exaggerates the "symptoms" around her.
I'm glad that a lot of these things at least CAN be ruled out. It still drives us nuts that bm has my middle dss on medication he doesn't need that doesn't benefit him. There's no blood test for ADHD, though, and when she tells the psychiatrist exactly what she knows he needs to hear to write a prescription, well... In reality, he's most likely emulating his older brother who does have ADHD among other things. He sees his older brother get to more or less run the show at home because bm's either too scared to or just can't be bothered to enforce any real boundaries on him. Of course his younger sibling who also wants free reign with things like screen time is going to see what works for his big brother and imitate the same behaviors.
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  #10  
March 5th, 2013, 03:51 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeToTheMax View Post
That is baffling. Hopefully the doctor's office will start calling your DH when she schedule's appointments, so he can go and give his perception of O's symptom's as well. The hard thing is that some of her hypohtesis at some point may not be totally off base. He may (not saying he does, just as an example) coincidentally have lactose intolerance or a food allergy. And she will take that a sign that she needs to be vigilant on her self-diagnosis.
Something I told Eric the other day.

We need to make sure that we aren't going too much to the other extreme. Just because EVERYTHING isn't wrong with him, doesn't mean NOTHING is.

Truth be told, we were concerned about his stomach too. We feel its cafeteria food. We stopped giving it to him, and his symptoms went away at our house.

What she claims he has is an inability to control ones bowels due to painful defecation in the past. This is all untrue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisey View Post
How frustrating.

How can she make this stuff up. It's wrong on so many levels!
Its tough. I know we can battle her all day long, I just worry about long term effects on O. He constantly is being told he is sick.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I'm glad that a lot of these things at least CAN be ruled out. It still drives us nuts that bm has my middle dss on medication he doesn't need that doesn't benefit him. There's no blood test for ADHD, though, and when she tells the psychiatrist exactly what she knows he needs to hear to write a prescription, well... In reality, he's most likely emulating his older brother who does have ADHD among other things. He sees his older brother get to more or less run the show at home because bm's either too scared to or just can't be bothered to enforce any real boundaries on him. Of course his younger sibling who also wants free reign with things like screen time is going to see what works for his big brother and imitate the same behaviors.
Exactly. O is far from adhd. He needs no medication whatsoever. I'm interested to see how our evaluation compares to hers. We each have to fill out some survey since she made the claim. We'll see.

We just want closure to the lactose intolerance thing too. I'm tired of him coming here saying he can't have milk because his mom says it's wrong for us to give it to him. But once we rule out one thing, she claim 3 more.

5 days before the wedding, this is just what we need, lol.

But look at that, during a time where all attention is on US, and I am sure O is talking a lot about the wedding, (we pick him up Fri and get married Sunday) she probably is trying to make herself feel more needed for "finding" all these "sicknesses" he has and will I'm sure try to convince him none of this would have happened if he were with her all the time. We're keeping our ears open.
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  #11  
March 7th, 2013, 07:43 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hopefully she isn't suddenly trying to find a reason for him to be too sick to be at your wedding! Ugghhh

As for the adhd stuff, they should also be having the school fill out some surveys on O. When my son was evaluated for adhd we had to fill them out and so did his teachers. The doctor should see any discrepancies from O's ratings at your house, school, and bm's house.

When we did our evaluation the teacher didn't want my son diagnosed with adhd, she just wanted to say he was a bad kid and purposely not paying attention or sitting still because she didn't want to have to do anything extra to help him! So she lied on the scales. Luckily I had printed all her e-mails all year where she talked about his not sitting still, his getting distracted, etc. So when the dr. pointed out that he was having no trouble at school I pulled out all the e-mails and he was mad at the teacher! We opted to not go with medication because his ADHD isn't severe(though his dr. was not happy with that decision). I only got him evaluated because I knew he needed some extra help at school and getting a diagnosis was the only way to get that.

As for medication, doesn't Eric have to agree to it as well for it to be given to O?
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  #12  
March 7th, 2013, 07:01 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2more View Post
Hopefully she isn't suddenly trying to find a reason for him to be too sick to be at your wedding! Ugghhh

As for the adhd stuff, they should also be having the school fill out some surveys on O. When my son was evaluated for adhd we had to fill them out and so did his teachers. The doctor should see any discrepancies from O's ratings at your house, school, and bm's house.

When we did our evaluation the teacher didn't want my son diagnosed with adhd, she just wanted to say he was a bad kid and purposely not paying attention or sitting still because she didn't want to have to do anything extra to help him! So she lied on the scales. Luckily I had printed all her e-mails all year where she talked about his not sitting still, his getting distracted, etc. So when the dr. pointed out that he was having no trouble at school I pulled out all the e-mails and he was mad at the teacher! We opted to not go with medication because his ADHD isn't severe(though his dr. was not happy with that decision). I only got him evaluated because I knew he needed some extra help at school and getting a diagnosis was the only way to get that.

As for medication, doesn't Eric have to agree to it as well for it to be given to O?
We pick him up from school tomorrow and then have him till tues so we shouldnt have any problems.

And we asked his teacher at his pt conference about add or adhd and she said she firmly believes he does NOT have it, and he is just a bright student that gets done with his work first and gets bored.

Hopefully BM goes crazy on the eval and fills out all 3's where we will have mostly 1's, as will his teacher. Eric is not going to mention what we think she has (Munchausen by proxy,) because then we're just as bad as her with the self diagnosing. But he is going to tell the Dr he strongly feels concern for how many things she claims is wrong with O.
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  #13  
March 10th, 2013, 10:49 AM
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I would definatly keep an eye on her if she is possibly showing MBP signs. There have been a few cases where sufferers actually do things that will make the proxy sick without even realizing they are doing it. Thats only in severe cases but we always watch the boys because BM does the same thing.
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  #14  
March 10th, 2013, 08:08 PM
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Hoping it's nothing and I hope the drs start canning you when she makes an appointment
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  #15  
March 11th, 2013, 07:52 PM
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Oh man she doesn't quit. I was thinking mbp myself. I hope the labs reveal nothing and the docs office can give you a better heads up moving forward.
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  #16  
March 11th, 2013, 10:55 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, it's just going to get worse I think.

We got married yesterday, and already today we have had I think 9 texts from her.

O went over to her at soccer practice and sat with her and was telling her about the wedding. She told him to do something and he said no. He eventually started sobbing and crying.

We then get text after text from her sitting 10 feet away. Something along the lines of, "We all know Jennifer is O's stepmom, nobody is arguing that. But telling him he doesnt have to listen to me during your week because he has two moms now and his mom right now is here and I cant tell him what to do is unacceptable. We need to be working as a team and he doesnt just come up with this stuff, I dont know what youre telling him but it needs to stop."

Since yesterday, O has been calling me mom. It is his choice. I have told him 2ce I don't mind if he still calls me Jennifer, and he said he likes calling me mom.

Turns out he may have called me mom TO his mom, and it didn't sit well with her.

3 minutes passes and he gets another text: "BTW congratulations to you both. I am sincerely happy you found each other."

Then we have to stand there for 10 minutes after practice cuz she cant find her keys and doesnt want us to leave if she has no ride home. Eric finally said "Lets get rolling dude we gotta get you showered."

sigh. It's gonna be a long ten years till O is 18 lol
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