she just won't get it through her head

stresswife · #1 March 6th, 2013, 05:49 AM

so BM brought up wanting DH to bring the kids back before the 4th of july again, even though they've already argued about this and he said NO firmly.. he just kept being polite and saying NO, he said " I'm pretty firm on this, no matter what, it's not going to change Summer is MY time out of the entire year, I'm not giving it up"
she just kept on and on, called him stubborn and pig headed and mean and unfair and whined about how he wouldn't just think about it...
like what the heck is there to think about? he's not paying hundreds of dollars to fly them out here and then turn right back around and fly them home a month later.. he will actually have only seen them two weeks because of work!
apparently her aunt and uncle come down for the 4th of july family reunion, but the kids have never even met them so it's not like it's a huge deal and she knows they are gone in the summer so why not do the reunion in august after they get back before school... ?
she continued to get angry with him because DH wasn't arguing with her really, he just stayed calm and kept saying no.. she said he could fly them back there for the weekend then pick them back up, which made him laugh and tell her she really needed to think about what she just said, if it already costs us almost 800-1000 for the plane tickets why would add in more tickets? she said "well if your wife wasn't lazy and would get a job maybe you could afford it, I mean I saw the toys you got her kid for her birthday it's not like your broke"
He told her goodbye after that and hung up..
she's an idiot if she thinks being a SAHM to a toddler is lazy! she likes me being a SAHM when I'm taking care of her children! but really what irked me is when she called Audrey "her kid" Audrey is OUR CHILD. I really wish she would accept that. and the birthday presents we got her? I gave her two necklaces that were 5-10$ each and we went in 1/3 for the 150$ playhouse she got.. my mom and grandpa paid the rest.
not that any of that surprised me, I don't think she will ever just move on and accept Audrey and I.. but the fact that I'm pretty sure she said all of that while sitting right next to Kayley makes my blood boil...
Kayley asked to talk to me before BM talked to DH and she said she was sitting next to BM watching a show.
I told DH that after he got off the phone and he told me to hold his phone while he cooled down so he wouldn't call or text her and tell her off because that's exactly what she wanted was him to fight with her.

plan4fate · #2 March 6th, 2013, 01:00 PM

ugh, she needs her head checked.

Ember Rose · #3 March 6th, 2013, 07:10 PM

Ugh! It's none of her business what you do and don't so and since she wants it she can pay for the extra tickets.

mom2more · #4 March 7th, 2013, 06:29 AM

If she wants the extra time she should make an offer that will work for her and your hubby. Like offer to pay for the tickets for the kids to come back to her for the holiday and then back to you after. Or she should offer up winter break or spring break, or SOMETHING!

But to expect your hubby to just give up his time with the kids and pay for it....well thats beyond stupid and selfish! And her comments about how much he does or doesn't spend on presents for his child or the fact that he has a stay-at-home mom for a wife are ridiculous! Sounds like she is jealous!

stresswife · #5 March 7th, 2013, 08:13 AM

she is, and even though DH was working the oil field when they were together she still doesn't get the concept that he's GONE half the time, if I was working we'd have to pay for THREE kids to be in daycare during the summer.. no thanks!
Even if she did pay for the ticket back for the holiday(which would happen when H*e*l*l* freezes over) DH still wouldn't agree to it, because she probably wouldn't send them back, she'd just keep them .
I mean she has them 10 months a year, she can't let him have them for two months? which is actually about 5 weeks adding when he's gone for work during the summer, 5 WEEKS A YEAR and she wants to take that away?! freakin selfish idiot..
I told him if she wants to start bringing up what we spend on OUR child, maybe we should have a long talk about what we buy for Ethan and Kayley, I've made sure they have lots of presents to open when they get here, they have new bedding, their room is re done, they have plenty of new clothes.. it's not like we only buy Audrey things and don't get them stuff, all year we think of them, we spend the exact same amount on them for Christmas, if Audrey got a lot of presents it's because the rest were from my mom, it's not like Ethan and Kayley don't get presents from BM's parents.. not to mention I'm positive that Kayley will play with all of Audreys toys just as much as she does.. so every toy Audrey gets is also played with by them, just like Audrey goes in their room and plays in their toy box.. I don't understand why she wants to make it a comparison of who gets what.. or why it's any of her business what we spend .. if we wanna buy Audrey a freakin pony it's OUR RIGHT to do so, she's our child.

of course she's already been texting about it again.. how many times does DH have to tell her NO? the last thing he said to her was "this time isn't only for me but they need to spend time with their little sister"

mom2more · #6 March 7th, 2013, 08:25 AM

I am sure the little sister comment got to her! Sounds like bm has a hard time with the fact that he has you and another child. She has the kids for 10 months, thats plenty of time to arrange family reunions and such on her time!

Keakie · #7 March 7th, 2013, 11:05 AM

I would stop replying to her at this point. Your dh has given her an answer, explained why that was his answer and clearly told her that he will not be changing his mind. Continuing to reply to her just gives her an audience for her drama; don't do it.

If it's important to her for her aunt and uncle to meet her kids, she can arrange a get together during her time. Your dh's time with his kids (and your daughter's time with her siblings) are equally important. What a cow to lash out at you and make comments about your family. It's hardly *your* responsibility to pay for the running around it would require for a get together *she* wants them to attend.

She will probably never approve of or accept you and Audrey. The good news is that she doesn't have to. She's free to choose to be miserable for the rest of her life if she wants to be.

Don't even get sucked into having a conversation with her about your love for ALL of the children. You and your dh know that everyone is equally loved and equally provided for, and I'm sure the kids know too. No matter how many reasons you give her, she will never accept what you're saying and it would be a headache you simply don't need.

stresswife · #8 March 7th, 2013, 01:13 PM

yes, DH stopped replying to her, I'm sure she will continue to bring this up every time they talk but it's stupid to because it's not something DH would ever budge on or even think about.
I think what really made her mad and bring me in the conversation was the fact that Kayley asked DH to talk to me and so he gave the phone to me and then she asked to talk to Audrey.
I'm dreading when I will have to communicate with her this summer during the weeks DH is at work.