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Sharing A Bath..


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  #1  
March 22nd, 2013, 06:28 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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I need some opinions...

I have a 6 yr old son and 3 yr old daughter. Since my 3 yr old has been born her and her brother have taken a bath together every time. They play with toys the whole time and I never thought anything of it.

Their father and I divorced almost a year ago and I'm now with someone new. We are engaged and live together. He has a 2 yr old daughter and recently expressed concern with my 6 yr old and 3 yr old taking baths together. He thinks since he is a boy that he needs to take baths alone but I see how much fun they have together and I hate to tell him he has to now take baths by himself..what fun is that?

I mean eventually he will but I figured that would happen when one of them became uncomfortable with it. What are your thoughts?
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2013, 11:38 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I'm not sure what your df's 2 yo has to do with your kids bathing together, to be honest. I doubt his toddler is all that concerned with the bathing habits of other children.

FWIW, my youngest dsc still took baths together at 6 and 3 (and they're a girl and a boy). Eventually, my 6 yo dsd started asking to bathe without her brother. About the time they started asking for more personal space is when we gave it to them. I would usually ask her before bath time if she'd rather go by herself or with her brother. Sometimes she'd still choose to have him with her, and sometimes she wanted to be by herself. He didn't mind either way (although it certainly took less time for them to get bored when they were by themselves ) so it was a good way to transition them to solo bathing time.
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  #3  
March 22nd, 2013, 02:05 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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While I do see your DF's point, they aren't really at the age where I think it would become worrisome. Eventually your oldest will start wanting privacy, at that point, you'll give it to them like Kayla said.

My DSS is 7... he sometimes wants his privacy. Other times he could care less.
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  #4  
March 22nd, 2013, 06:54 PM
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He has seen my son "spank" her or her laying accross his lap in the bath. He wanted me to clear up that it isn't just them seeing each other naked, he thinks those things are inappropriate behavior.

I don't see it as them trying to be sexual with each other..I see it as them just playing though I have told them not to play like that.

I wanted to add that in
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2013, 06:34 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I don't believe there is any inappropriate intent there, however I would be sure to talk about body boundaries with them and which parts are private/not to be touched by other people. Are they bored in the bath? My dsc had a lot of bath toys and they would play with those together. My il's also have those letters that will stick to the shower walls when they're wet, and they loved playing with those when we stayed over there too.
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2013, 08:18 AM
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my stepkids still bathed together , but they'll be 8 and 6 this year and I think it's time my stepson has baths by himself.. not because they ever did anything wrong, but I think he's old enough, but I'll probably have Kayley bath with Audrey just because they both like to play and that's less bathes for me haha
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  #7  
March 24th, 2013, 02:20 PM
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My SD was not taking baths after 4 except for fun. She started standing up in the shower. This was partly because of an infection she got from bubble baths. My sister had her son standing up in the shower from 6 years old, and no longer taking a bath with his younger sister. I'm suprise to hear the responses of 6,7, and 8 year olds still taking baths as the standard. I am more suprised of that than a 6 year old still taking bath with a younger sibling. I honestly don't think thats weird at all.
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  #8  
March 24th, 2013, 02:29 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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My 6 yo dsd doesn't like showers. I wanted her to take a shower instead once to save some time and she sobbed and begged not to. She's never gotten any infections so we've been fine with allowing it.
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  #9  
March 24th, 2013, 10:33 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I didn't start taking showers full time until I was 11 or 12 when AF showed up on a regular basis. One brother was the same, the other liked showers starting at around 7.

Reme takes baths unless we are pressed for time, or his dad's in the shower, then they shower together. He can take showers full time when he can do it himself. We used to need him to soak a bit... to get the scent of his detergent off his skin. That's not as much of an issue now.
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  #10  
March 25th, 2013, 04:02 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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O started taking showers around 6 or so.

I think he still takes baths at his moms house. Not sure.

He still takes 30 minute showers sometimes though lol. He has a bunch of toys in the shower and he still sits down and plays a lot. Just not in a tub full of water.

But then again, Eric will sit down in the shower and relax sometimes too. So my boys might just be strange! lol
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  #11  
March 27th, 2013, 07:48 AM
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I dont think its inappropriate per say, I remember being 10 and taking baths with my younger brother when he was 4 ( my step mom was lazy so she had us do that so I could wash him) I stopped it that same year.

on to the showers.. I give my son showers, we have a lot of kids here and when they are all here. water heater goes fast plus df and I still need showers. lol.

I know he would prefer baths. I know he takes baths at his grandma's. I just cant do it in our bathroom. I give Brea showers with me because its one of those bathtubs that have sliding glass doors on them and its too claustrophobic for me.
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  #12  
March 27th, 2013, 10:58 AM
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Dani has never shared a bath with either of the boys (except for when she and Sean were much younger and decided to "swim" in my garden tub and both wore bathing suits), however, right before Dani turned 5, my appendix ruptured and had to be removed. My now ex, brought me home from the hospital 9 days later and walked out, saying he could not deal with someone with health problems. I was left home with a sick Dani and thankfully a very mature Sean. Sean had to help Dani bathe and he washed her hair nightly for a long time until I was able to do so, because I wasn't able to bend down over the tub to wash all of that long, long hair. He did much more than any 12 yo should have had to do.
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  #13  
March 28th, 2013, 07:24 PM
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lurking: sometimes my older kids (10 y/o dd and 8 year old d/s) ask to get in the bath with their little sister who turned 6 a few days ago. I just have them wear their underpants and let them play..
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