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  • 1 Post By MommytoZoeAlyssa

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  #1  
April 12th, 2013, 07:50 AM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have a question and wanted some input/opinions...
I have primary physical custody of my daughter and her father gets her every other weekend. He recently moved in with his new girlfriend previous to this he lived with his mother and Zoe had her own room and tons of clothes/toys ect. Now that he is living with the new gf and she has 3 kids of her own 2 boys and a girl. Zoe is now sharing a room with the girl. Anyway I have had to make contact first to find out what time I am meeting him this has always been an issue because he never takes the initiative to contact me or check on her during the week when he doesnt have her. Now for the past month I have also had to ask if I need to send clothes and they always say yes then send a bag of dirty clothes back home with her. Last time she stayed she came home and said she never wanted to go back apparently they are treating differently and not paying attention to her. This was the straw that just broke my patience and being nice. This week I did not make the first move to contact him he finally sent me a message last night at 12am saying he would meet me at 430. I told him that wouldnt work because she doesnt even get home from school until 420 and its nearly 30 mins to where we meet. He did not mention if I needed to send her clothes or anything like that. I am not going to send anything with her because I always go out of my way to be nice to him and the new gf (this is the 2nd gf since we split last Aug) My question is do any of you guys send clothes with your kids when they go visit there other parent? Thank you in advance for taking the time to read thing I appreciate any feedback!
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  #2  
April 12th, 2013, 09:07 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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We have 50/50 every other week custody, so each parent has their own clothes, toys, etc. for DSD. If it was different and we had more custody and her mom only had weekends, I would be more willing to send clothes. I mean, I don't necessarily see the point in spending money and having excess clothes just for a few days. BUT...I would definitely expect them to be returned washed and clean and in good condition (most of the time, I realize there are always accidents or times when you just can't get to the wash). And the lack of communication/caring would really bother me. Is his visitation court ordered?
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  #3  
April 12th, 2013, 09:18 AM
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We never send clothes to either Robert's mom or Dani's dad unless there is a special occasion going on, which is very rare. Robert's mom now goes as far as to take the school clothes he wears to her house on Friday that fit and swap them for too little clothes at her house to replinish her supply. We have started sending him in clothes that are almost too little to school on Friday.
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  #4  
April 12th, 2013, 09:24 AM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes the visitation is court ordered. Before when he was living with his parents it was no issue because she has just as many clothes at their house as she does here. His mom offered for him to take anything he needed for Zoe to his new house he just didnt take the initiative to do so. I have been trying to talk him in to just letting Zoe stay with his parents on his weekends. I talk regularly with his parents to keep them up to date on Zoe because he doesnt ever tell them anything. He could care less he just does not want to pay more child support for seeing her less although I have made it clear i dont care about money. I think he resents her because we had only been dating a month when i ended up pregnant with her and he didnt want me to have her. But for over 6 years we tried to make it work and I finally just couldnt do it anymore..
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  #5  
April 12th, 2013, 12:07 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sending clothes depends on the situation. With my ex I sent clothes because I knew they would come back. If my son forgot something my ex would always give it to me next time. My ex never washed the clothes though, I always got back a bag of dirty clothes.

With my hubby's ex we didn't send anything but what they were dressed in because it would never come back. We had to resort to sending them in clothes we didn't care if we got back because she would keep anything nice and send them back in stuff that was too small or stained. So we would send them in stuff that barely fit anymore and stocked up on some items from the thrift store that were cheap, but presentable and sent them in that.
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  #6  
April 12th, 2013, 02:11 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2more View Post
With my hubby's ex we didn't send anything but what they were dressed in because it would never come back. We had to resort to sending them in clothes we didn't care if we got back because she would keep anything nice and send them back in stuff that was too small or stained. So we would send them in stuff that barely fit anymore and stocked up on some items from the thrift store that were cheap, but presentable and sent them in that.
This is what we do with DSD, too. She is in a 4T or 5T and her mom sends her in 24 months or 2T clothes. We'll save old clothes or cheap clearnace or thrift store clothes for her to go back in, but then her mom complains that she always goes to her house in ugly clothes.
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  #7  
April 13th, 2013, 10:01 PM
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Kinda the same boat or was. I take my son to school on Mondays so if I send him my good pair of jeans for him they disappear. I've kinda given up on it. I will say that I refuse to do laundry on the weekends. I can't be expected to wash cloths 7 days a week. Everyone in my house knows if I don't have their laundry by Friday morning, it won't be washed until Monday.
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  #8  
April 15th, 2013, 07:35 AM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks everyone for your input!
I ended up not sending any clothes just some tennis shoes because she went over in flip flops. He ended up calling his mom and went over there and picked up clothes for her. She came home yesterday in the clothes i sent her in Friday.
AtomicMama likes this.
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  #9  
April 15th, 2013, 08:26 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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L used to send clothes, then we just got our own. He goes home on Sunday in the clothes he showed up in on Friday (with clean unders and socks of course) unless he's filthy. Then she'll just bring back what he wore home Monday when she picks him up after school.

It works out best this way, she always has his good school clothes, and we know exactly what his clothes were washed in (DH has allergies)
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  #10  
April 15th, 2013, 08:39 PM
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My ex never takes his kids and L's kids are older so when they go to their Mums for a week out of the holiday period etc they take their own stuff.
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  #11  
May 13th, 2013, 04:44 PM
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I always sent clothes with them. Sometimes they wouldn't come back but at least I knew they had clothes to wear when they were there. It's annoying but not sending clothes would only punish the kids.
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  #12  
May 18th, 2013, 01:13 AM
Gee Gee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Alan has a set of clothes and toys here at our house for Aniyah. When I used to send Josiah and Janiah to their fathers house I didn't send them clothes because he has his own clothes (that I provided) at his house for them.
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  #13  
July 28th, 2013, 09:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoes_Mommy View Post
My question is do any of you guys send clothes with your kids when they go visit there other parent? Thank you in advance for taking the time to read thing I appreciate any feedback!
I only send the clothes on their back(never good clothes) I always have not so good clothes set back as well as shoes because they tend to bring them back in too small clothes and no shoes!
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  #14  
July 30th, 2013, 11:23 PM
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I'm so irritated the other day my ex husband brought back the kids with NO shoes and in bathing suits..***?
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