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so since the kids will be with us until the night before school I went ahead and got their school supplies, well 95% we still need three things I couldn't get at wal mart plus they need to pick out back packs.
we thought tax free weekend was next weekend(it usually is here) when DH and the kids would be here so that's when we planned on getting their school clothes, but it was this weekend.. I had coupons for Sears and The Childrens Place, both of which were having tax free weekend sales.. so DH told me to get them a couple outfits, so I did.. three each(saved $100!)
anyway, BM is P***ed that we did that..
She's had EVERY year to get them the stuff and 90% of the time the kids don't have supplies and she waits until the very last minute and then cries to DH for money to do get it..
DH told her she could get the rest of the supplies and their back packs and take them clothes shopping herself, she said she didn't have the money for it.. well that's why WE DID IT..
she's figuring out that she's screwed herself out of extra money by moving close to us, now anything they need we can just get it for them and not have to give her any money besides CS.
Sounds to me like she is mad because instead of giving her money for clothes and supplies, you got them clothes and supplies instead?
If all that money was really going to them, then why would she be so upset? Sounds like you guys did a nice thing! We have never given BM money directly, unless a co-pay or something was paid in full by her and we had to reimburse her. But any time she asked for money for half of, say, karate classes, we paid it directly to the karate place. You know?
Jennifer - Married to DH 3.10.13 - Stepmom to 9yo DSS - TTC Cycle #10
I'm with Jennifer. I think it sounds like she is just upset that she didn't get the money, since I'd bet she skims some off the top when he sends money for the kids stuff.
It is possible that she really enjoys shopping for school stuff with the kids, but it sounds like you just got the more "boring" school supplies and just a few outfits. She definitely could go get the "fun" backpacks and more clothes if she really wanted to.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with all that. The fortunate thing with them being closer is that you guys CAN get them the items they need a lot more easily
__________________ Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)
I loved it if someone could buy my kids school supplies! It's a chore I detest and a big expense. I agree that I think she's likely skimming money for herself & misses the extra cash. But it's way better for you to do it this way.
they didn't really need alot, it's not like they get to pick out fancy notebooks or character folders.. it was crayons, scissors, plain pocket folders and plain pencils, the school list specifically said no decorated supplies..so it's not like we took the "fun" out letting her do that, I mean she could still get the three things they need and let them get more clothes, or even shoes but I doubt she will.
If she's throwing this big of a fit over school stuff I cringe to think of what she's gonna do when Christmas comes and he tells her we're doing separate Christmas's and everything they get is staying at our house..
I picked up Reme's school supplies for next to nothing (grand total this year was like $7 since he had some things he could reuse) all she has to get is his lysol wipes, kleenex and quart sized bags.. and that's only because my kleenex and quart sized bags are still packed in boxes from the move.
I also have 1/3 of his school supplies purchased for the next 2 years.
L didn't say a peep, she'd get excited everytime I'd hand her a bag. I bought most of his back to school clothes too. This works for us because I don't work, and have extra time to shop for deals where she doesn't.
I'm weird, we love office supplies, so we can't wait until he needs more than pencils and crayons.
~TTC #1 together 1 year and counting ~
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I wish someone would help us with school supplies too! Sean had to have a special calculator for Advanced Math that was $165. That doesn't count the supplies he needed. He and Robert both needed a lot of stuff like a 2" notebook for each class, zip drives, color pencils, highlighters etc. Dani's was just basic stuff that she needed.
Add the shoes ($150 for boots for Sean (he can't wear cheap shoes because of his back injury) and $50 ea for Dani and Robert) that we had to buy for school, we put out over $500 on school supplies alone. It was difficult with buying them this year since Jonah has not got his first check from work and for some reason child support has stopped.
We did not buy clothes to start school with. They all have plenty of shorts and shirts until the fall gets here. They each have a pair or 2 of jeans for just in case. Dani and Robert are growing so fast that if we bought fall clothes now, they would not fit in late Oct.
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Last edited by pmdc5286; August 13th, 2013 at 06:24 PM.
Reason: add clothes
so She didn't even know when they started! she told DH and the kids they started this coming monday, and she hasn't even enrolled them! if she thought they started monday and hadn't even bothered to enroll them what did she think she was gonna do? just show up with them? smh, DH told her if she didn't enroll them by tomorrow he'd drive over there and do it himself.. she lives less than a mile from the school she has no excuse..
Glad you got to do the shopping and make sure all the money for supplies went to supplies! lol We were lucky in that we had quite a few supplies from the kids last year that could be reused again this year. They all had some notebooks that were only written on a few pages...so just tore those out and reused this year. Binders that they brought home in good shape so reusing them again.
I do buy kleenex, but don't buy paper towels, cleaning wipes, or ziploc bags anymore. My kids never used the ziploc bags after like 1st grade. And I pay $500 per child in school fees for public school. I feel that they can provide the cleaning supplies. That fee doesn't even cover the extra fees they charge per sport, band, etc.
I could not imagine paying for my kids to go to public school. There are very few activities we have to pay for. We will cover cost of out-of-town trips (Sean goes on several as an FFA officer) and pay for field trips for the kids. All sports are free and the activities that use set shirts/uniforms, many are covered with fundraisers.
We didn't buy too many clothes either. Do your kids take clothes back and forth? Anything we ever buy for Owen stays with us. He is not allowed to bring toys to her house. He has asked and sometimes we have let him. His new phone is all he is allowed to bring. And the way the schedule worked out was we picked him up from her so he was wearing her clothes so we have never had to send an outfit to her house.
He has a very different style with his mom. She puts him in courderoy pants and polo shirts where with us he wears skater shoes and Volcom and cargo shorts. Sad to say, but his teacher can tell whose week it is just by how he is dressed.
Jennifer - Married to DH 3.10.13 - Stepmom to 9yo DSS - TTC Cycle #10
we keep all the clothes we bought , here at our house. The go home in whatever they came in(after I wash it of course) I just know if we let them take the clothes home, we'd never see them again and she always sends them in crappy, stained, or too small stuff. The only thing they get to take is their school clothes and school supplies.
We've already told them anything they get with us, stays with us, especially since we'll have them twice a month now.
Our kids only take the clothes they have on and their phones. We don't send them in good clothes because we know we will never get them back. Re have a few clothes for Robert that are borderline so we don't loose the Carharts and other good clothes.
Dani's dad will keep the bras that she wears over there so he does not have to go buy them for her. Dani says that she only has 1 outfit at her dad's that fits so she usually wears the same clothes all weekend and by the time she gets home the clothes are ready to walk around by themselves!