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  #21  
February 17th, 2014, 09:07 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I don't even have words for her anymore. Poor O. I'm glad that he has y'all. I'm sorry I missed your FB message the other day, btw! I was one-handed and couldn't type well. I don't blame you for being exasperated though. Not one bit.
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  #22  
February 17th, 2014, 01:25 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I don't even have words for her anymore. Poor O. I'm glad that he has y'all. I'm sorry I missed your FB message the other day, btw! I was one-handed and couldn't type well. I don't blame you for being exasperated though. Not one bit.
No worries! Sometimes I just need to get it all out, lol.

He talked with her. Told her how he felt. Apparently he called her out on all her lies, and being late all the time, and how when she was an hour and a half late he almost just called me to pick him up. I guess she cried when he told her all this. We asked him how he felt when she cried, and he said, "She was probably trying to make me feel bad but I didn't, I was glad to express myself." We're so proud of him.

She also told him that everything we tell him about her is a lie. And that we are just "filling his head with bad thoughts."

He said, "I know she's lying about that too because she lies all the time and you guys never lie to me and you show me proof of things unlike her."

He's getting so smart. he wants to be included in all of this and know what's going on and we've tried to shelter him from it, but I like that he is able to express himself about how much she pisses him off, but still want to spend his visitation time with her.
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  #23  
February 18th, 2014, 08:41 AM
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He is soooo smart! Good for him for realizing it's her and not him. As tough as that is for you to watch, know that this will make him wiser with other people he encounters as he gets older.

We deal with my dh's oldest who's mother told her lie after lie about dh and she never saw it. Now at 19 she's starting to see it but it's too late & the damage is done.
Keakie likes this.
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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  #24  
February 18th, 2014, 12:56 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
He is soooo smart! Good for him for realizing it's her and not him. As tough as that is for you to watch, know that this will make him wiser with other people he encounters as he gets older.

We deal with my dh's oldest who's mother told her lie after lie about dh and she never saw it. Now at 19 she's starting to see it but it's too late & the damage is done.
Good point. He's going to be skeptical as he grows older. I'm fine with skeptical, I just don't want him to have trust issues. We are trying to show him to trust us, to give him a good example of trusting parents.
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  #25  
February 18th, 2014, 02:36 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I'm sure that means the world to him.
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  #26  
February 18th, 2014, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Keakie View Post
I'm sure that means the world to him.
We're tryin
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  #27  
February 18th, 2014, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
Good point. He's going to be skeptical as he grows older. I'm fine with skeptical, I just don't want him to have trust issues. We are trying to show him to trust us, to give him a good example of trusting parents.

He already knows he can trust you. He can see the difference between his mother & you & Eric. You don't have to do anything other than what you both do naturally. If everyone else in his life is trustworthy he won't be skeptical at all. He knows it's his mom. If he didn't have you guys then it would be another story.
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  #28  
February 18th, 2014, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
He already knows he can trust you. He can see the difference between his mother & you & Eric. You don't have to do anything other than what you both do naturally. If everyone else in his life is trustworthy he won't be skeptical at all. He knows it's his mom. If he didn't have you guys then it would be another story.
That's what we're hoping. I told Eric the other day it's very clear the type of relationship they have. He acts like he's excited to see her when he does, and I am sure he is. At soccer when she brings up an upcoming visit he gets excited. But when he's with us, he says he doesn't wanna go, or he bets she'll be late.

It seems to me like he's going to just keep giving her chance after chance to prove him wrong and actually show an effort, and then just get pissed at her when she once again lets him down.

Her effort level has literally dropped to next to nothing. She makes it to each visitation, but never on time, doesn't try to call him anymore, doesn't reply to our emails which is actually court ordered, but thats a separate topic. We sent her this email on Sunday:

Quote:
Regarding your Sunday and Thursday visitations with Owen. We will no longer allow you to waste our time waiting for you to arrive to your parents house. Of all of the visitations you have had with Owen since the trial, you have been late to every single one of them. This is no longer acceptable to us, nor are your many excuses. It is rude and disrespectful to make us wait 10-15 minutes, or in Jennifer’s case on Thursday, 20 minutes past when you told her you’d be there. From now on, we will not be leaving our house until we know you are at your parent’s house. Prior to leaving our own house, I will now require a phone call from you, from your parent’s house phone, to show me that you are there. So if you would like to have your entire visitation time with Owen, it would be a good idea to arrive at your parent’s house ten minutes prior to the visitation time scheduled, and call me from their house phone. Once I receive the call, we will bring Owen over. We have also discussed this with Owen, as he is tired of having to wait for you as well, and he is in full agreement with our decision.

Regarding your failed drug test. I assume that TASC will be providing me with the results of the GC/MS analysis this week. You told Jennifer that your ADD and Migraine medications are the cause for these positive results. In the event that the analysis does prove this, I will need you to provide me with a copy of what you send to the court showing the Prescriptions you are taking, and documentation from health care providers regarding the lawful possession and use of those medications. Though you have stated otherwise, this absolutely is my business. If you do not provide me with proof of these prescriptions, then I am led to believe that you do not have a proper prescription and are abusing drugs, which would put Owen’s safety in immediate danger during any time he is with you, giving me the right to suspend your visitation.

Please email me back so I know that you have received this email and understand this change.
We're not playing nice anymore
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  #29  
February 19th, 2014, 07:34 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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that sounds perfect. I honestly cannot believe the gall of this woman. She wants me want to pull my hair out.
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  #30  
February 19th, 2014, 09:24 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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That's a perfect email. I'm sure she will be up in arms over all of it, but she is honestly getting out of hand.
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  #31  
February 19th, 2014, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
that sounds perfect. I honestly cannot believe the gall of this woman. She wants me want to pull my hair out.
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Originally Posted by AtomicMama View Post
That's a perfect email. I'm sure she will be up in arms over all of it, but she is honestly getting out of hand.
Thanks. She's really something else. I think when she realized that this setup we have is quite permanent, (It can't be changed unless SHE takes US back to court, and she has to have a reason to do so,) it kind of hit her hard. I mean, 27 hours a MONTH for the next 6 months. We spend 27 hours with him in a weekend!

But she needs to get her act together if she wants to be a part of his life. And I know that her being late isn't the worst thing in the world for US, we could easily just leave him with his grandparents and be on our way, we promised him that we would advocate for him. And it bothers him when she's late, so we stood up for him and got strict. It's going to be a very long 6 months if we continuously have to babysit her. At least this way, we have set our expectations, and won't spend any more time waiting in the car. We can sit around and play video games until she calls us and says she's there. The less time with her isn't a big deal to Owen, the waiting around is.

We'll see how tonight goes. Nobody has heard from her since we picked Owen up on Sunday. There was no practice Monday bc of the holiday. Soccer practice tonight should be fun!
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  #32  
February 20th, 2014, 06:38 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well she was ten minutes late to soccer yesterday.

But while sitting at practice, she emailed me proof of her prescriptions, so thats a start.

And today, at 3:50, her dad called Eric and said she was there, and I brought Owen over right at 4pm.

Progress!

Though when I told Owen he was going there today, he started crying. He didnt wanna go. I told him that hes the one that told us he wanted more time with her and he said, "Not THIS much more!"
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  #33  
February 21st, 2014, 06:58 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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  #34  
February 21st, 2014, 08:09 AM
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He seemed fine when I picked him up. I encouraged him and said "See? I think it's just you don't wanna leave me but then when you actually get there you end up having fun."

Eric asked him on the way home from the airport (he flew home last night) how he felt about the visit and Owen said, "I just really dont know." Poor kid.

In other news, Owen said that his grandparents are going to Israel next Wednesday for two weeks. The court order says that any alteration to visitation time must be scheduled no less than 7 days in advance. She doesn't have visitation this Sunday, but she was supposed to next Thursday. That's 6 days from now and she still hasn't let us know her supervisors won't be available.
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