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I'm sorry. Exes who deliberately mess with you via the system are the worst. It's mentally exhausting and drains the bank account quickly.
I'm not sure what you're looking for as far as advice goes. The most important thing is to find a lawyer who understands the situation and is on the same page as you. I'm not sure about in New Zealand, but most family court judges here don't take kindly to ex-spouses showing up in their court rooms again and again and again, especially when it's the same parent petitioning and refusing to cooperate.
Also, pick your battles. Find out what's actually enforceable and what isn't. Figure out what's important enough to you to go before a judge if you need to and what isn't.