[Mom-2-Five]

Im not really a posting member here but I do scan the boards often. My question is for those of you whom the father of your baby wasn't active in the pregnancy did you let him have a say in the baby's name?

Part of me wants to be nice and let him give suggestions. But the other part of me already has her name picked out and im thinking about digging my heels in. I mean I haven't talked to him in over a month and haven't seen him since the weekend got pregnant.

Also did you let baby's dad in the delivery room? Im not sure if he is even coming to the hospital. But I like to plan things in advance and this is driving me crazy

[anika]

This pregnancy, the father isn't involved at all, haven't talked to him in 3 months and I can tell you right now, he had no say in the name because he wasn't an active member from the start, and I kinda figured he wouldn't be in the future. I am also not having him in the delivery room nor even to visit after Addi is born. I feel he doesn't deserve it because he hasn't done a darn thing for her.

As for your situation, name your baby what YOU want. if he's not involved he doesn't get a say. plain and simple. stand firm in your decision and don't let him sway you into 'feeling bad' about it. you are doing all the work and you'll most likely be doing all the work afterward. If he asks why he wasn't consulted about these things tell him the truth. it is your choice.

[iMama]

I'm in a similar situation and also on the fence like you are regarding the name thing. The baby's father hasn't been involved with the pregnancy at all. I asked him at one point if he wanted to have input on the name and he said yes, but I recently asked him again in an e-mail, but he didn't respond to the question (the e-mail was about a few different things). Right now my plan is to let him know what my ideas are, see if he has any input or objections, and then make a decision from there. I don't think it's unreasonable of you at all to name the baby on your own if he hasn't been involved.

If the father of the baby wants to be in the delivery room, then he's more than welcome, but I honestly doubt that he'll even come to the hospital. I am just going to assume that he won't be there, because I'll just feel foolish asking and hearing him say no.

[melshipp]

FOB was slightly involved, but not really. I called him after every appointment and tried to include him the best I could but ultimatly I knew just about everything would be up to me. I asked FOB to suggest some names but I pretty much hated anything he came up with. I decided on the name Mason and I even chose to give him my last name. I did however let FOB have the middle name. His side of the family has a tradition where the first born males have the middle name Wade. I felt that it fit nicely and so I would keep that tradition alive (besides that it was one less name for me to come up with).

As for FOB being in the room, mine wasnt but it was because we are living in seperate states. I say that when it comes to these guys being in the room with you it has to be based on your comfort level. If you arent comfortable with the idea of his being there then say no. Trust me, when you go into labor you will want a positive atmosphere.

[Banned-ms.crystal]

My child's father was NOT involved. He didn't have a say in the name, he wasn't there for the delivery. I didn't communicate with him until my son was about 2 weeks old. That's when he decided he wanted to be a father. (after he saw his pictures). I was very reluctant, so he took me to court for joint custody. Which of course was denied, but we did come up with an agreement that works for both of us. Even with that he's in and out. But he did hate the name I came up with and even wanted to change the last name to his. That was a big fat NO!. If he had been a little more active, maybe I would've worked that out with him. But he wasn't. He got over it!

[anika]

Originally Posted by ms.crystal

My child's father was NOT involved. He didn't have a say in the name, he wasn't there for the delivery. I didn't communicate with him until my son was about 2 weeks old. That's when he decided he wanted to be a father. (after he saw his pictures). I was very reluctant, so he took me to court for joint custody. Which of course was denied, but we did come up with an agreement that works for both of us. Even with that he's in and out. But he did hate the name I came up with and even wanted to change the last name to his. That was a big fat NO!. If he had been a little more active, maybe I would've worked that out with him. But he wasn't. He got over it!

See, you know whats up! How funny he took YOU to court. Arrie's dad did that too because he claimed I wouldn't let him see her, which was true only because he'd try to come over at 9 at night when Arrie was sleep or he'd come over drunk/high. yeah sorry I don't want you holding my child under the influence, dummy. and now look, we're back in court because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. idiots I tell you.

[airfobrat]

my ex was with by my side up until 36 weeks until i had to go live in a women's shelter because his aunt kicked me out. We had a name picked out that satisfied both sides of the family and everything.
But when i finally admitted that there was a minute possibility that he wasn't the father, he dumped me 2 days before he was born.

It was after then that i decided to name my son after my grandfather (Joseph Kenneth II)
my ex hasn't seen Joey since the DAY he was born (7-7-08), and he refuses paternity. what he doesn't know is that i just got foodstamps, and they are going after him for Child support! hehe...i CAN be evil sometimes!

[fulloflove]

I never even considered the fathers feelings... he wanted to change the last name to his and I laughed in his face!! the only reason my son shares his first name is because I absolutely love the name Anthony.. and I wasn't going to not choose it just to spite him... as far as being there for delivery.. that's tough.. i think i would be uncomfortable having him in the room so I woulda made him wait outside until after...
whats sad is Anthonys dad actually wants to be ta part of his life.. but he is too stupid to function and since he doesn't help support him, its his loss!

[misatisha]

I was trying to include the father but its become too much..He hasnt been to a doctor's appt yet..Hes stressing me.Going back and forth between me and another girl...Ive had it..Ive told him he cant stay here anymore even though he refuses to get his things..he will not have a say in the name at all...He hasnt been active and i know he wont be in the future..Im giving the child my last name bc I really dont want the baby with baggage from him hes a loser...I know hes not gone be in the delivery room he cant even show up for an appt..

[marleyandme]

The father has been in and out, and I am having a lot of the same questions as you. I DID give him some input on names, when he came back into my life a couple months after we broke up, but I stood firm on my girls name, I had chosen it and was not going to back down, he always wanted to name his son after his brother, which I am trying REALLY hard to avoid, since his brother and I do not get along at all, and I really just dont like the name anyways, but I will consider making it a middle name, it depends how this all works out. As for the hospital room, as it stands, he thinks he will be in the room with me, and I was fine with that, were still somewhat friends... but if it continues going downhill like it has been, my mind may change. I think im secretly hoping if he is in the room, he'll realize how important this baby is, and get him to be around a bit more, plus I have a feeling he'll try and step up once the baby is here...hopefully.

[my.estrella]

We chose the name together even though he wasn't active in the pregnancy. But we have been friends for a very long time and he's now involved with her. Some guys have a hard time grasping that a pregnancy is real and it doesn't sink in until the baby is born.

[Mom2DyJessAva]

He picked out both dylan and jessies name...although if it was recently i wouldnt agree to it...i wasnt as outspoken as i am now...i did give them his last night which im happy about now because it would of been hard to get survivors benefits if we didnt..

[Mom-2-Five]

Hmm lots to think about I want him to have input but in the end the decision is mine. He also told me he wont be coming to the hospital for her delivery which is one less thing to worry about I guess