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  #1  
September 26th, 2011, 11:18 AM
RayofHope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: California
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I think Iíve posted here a couple of times. I have a question. How are you ladies dealing with your ex dating? I found out about a month ago that he was seeing someone else and even though we have been split up for 10 months and it was all my choice it drove me crazy. Like really crazy. I was torn up about it for a good week at least. Iím good with it now but I donít know if its that I am passed it and really ok with it or that he has stopped talking to her. I donít know he has for a fact but I do know that he is back to texting me and asking me to come home so Iím thinking he has. But I know I donít want him back so I shouldnít care right? But it really bothered me. I think it was because it made me feel like his family was not worth the work to fix so instead he just met someone else and moved on. If that makes sense. How are you ladies dealing with it?

For myself, I have started dating. Kinda. Iíve started going out a couple of months ago and have met a few guys but none worth my time. You girls know how our standards change once weíve been there done that.
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  #2  
September 26th, 2011, 01:35 PM
orrickster's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, my ex cheated on me with a co-worker for about a year before we split and they got together within a couple weeks after I moved out. Not only that, but she moved into the house my ex and I shared less than a month after I moved out. Yea, it was a bit rough for me. And when I found out about him seeing someone I straight up asked him if he was seeing someone and he told me no, this was AFTER she had already moved in with him.

It was sore for almost a year I'd say before I was fully able to be okay with it. I think if we had been apart for a few months, it would have been easier to handle, but still would have bothered me.

I think a lot of it also had to do with the fact that his GF has a kid and has custody of her nephew, so while my ex has 4 kids of his own (3 with one mom and 1 with me), he's spends most of his time with his GF and her kids, so that hurts because of Kaisen. Even though he was young when we split and still is young, I can't help but worry and feel bad for him.
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  #3  
September 26th, 2011, 02:44 PM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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its still kinda fresh that he decided to go back with his wife..and its kinda hard to handle still
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  #4  
September 26th, 2011, 03:36 PM
RayofHope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My ex denied it too. And it just ate me up inside. I knew for a couple of weeks before he actually admitted it. I donít know why I took it so hard. Like I said before I donít want him back. He is begging and pleading now but for me I wont ever go back. Not now. Not after being with another woman. He actually took her around my kids once and if heíd have been in front of me when I found out things would have gotten real ugly. He gets them 1 night a week and his Mom has them 2 days during the week where he goes to see them for 1-2 hrs. He has supervised visits. So he spends less then 24 hrs a week with them. So for him to have her there the one day out of the week the kids were there. KILLED ME! Confused them too. I donít know how to deal with it. I know I need to just let it go but emotionally it has been a lot tougher then I thought it would be.
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  #5  
September 26th, 2011, 03:37 PM
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So far I haven't experienced him seeing someone since we don't have connect so I could assume right now he's proably with someone hence the long move from California to the Eastern side and he said he always hated to move !

So I'm okay with it as long as I don't see it as I'm for sure if I ran into him with a gal all lovey to her I'm for sure that would bug me indeed .
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  #6  
September 26th, 2011, 03:43 PM
RayofHope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Its nice to have people out there who understand what youre going through. Thanks ladies.
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  #7  
September 26th, 2011, 03:50 PM
orrickster's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yea, that's another thing that will make it feel worse than it actually is. Knowing that some random chick is around your kids. That was I think the worst of it. And also knowing that, while she may be good to my son, she is not a good influence for him at all. And I think that contributes a lot towards the anger and jealousy I felt back then. And my ex definitely doesn't help. I think it may get easier with time, especially if you do happen to find someone you want to be with. I keep saying now that if my ex broke up with his current GF and started seeing someone else, I'd be happy about it (anybody but who he's with now!), but I can't be totally sure about that. And I don't think it's ever going to be totally easy because you spent a significant amount of your life with that man, you had 2 kids with him. So I think regardless of what situation you're in and how long it's been, I think it may always be somewhat sensitive. But it may just get easier.
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  #8  
September 26th, 2011, 04:38 PM
RayofHope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, the random so bothered me. I told him I knew he would end up with someone someday and if he was serious enough with her to bring her around my kids I wanted to meet her. Not to just be bringing random girls around them. One day out of the blue while we were going to bed my son told me ďMom, I donít want a new Mom. I just want you to be my Mom.Ē Broke my heart because he did that to hurt me but reality is it is messing with their heads. But youíre right I spent 8 years with him and had 2 kids. I suppose it will always be a sensitive issue. I keep telling myself its all those firsts I have to get past and once I do things will get easier. Like the first chick, the first girlfriend, seeing him with someone for the first time, the first kid, the first marriage. That stuff is all going to hit me emotionally and Iíll just have to find a way to make it through each one of those experiences.
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  #9  
September 26th, 2011, 07:19 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
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Location: Christchurch, NZ
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both of my exes are dating.... and while I feel a bit funny about it, I know they're both free to date who they want to. There is a bit of an issue with one of the gf's having had her son taken off her for abusing him, BUT that's a whole other post......
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  #10  
September 26th, 2011, 08:07 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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Yeah I don't care about my ex dating, I want him to move on and leave me alone. What I find pathetic is that he bounces from woman to woman, anyone who will show him attention and then asks if he can have the kids around them. He always puts them before the kids, I see no money from him but he takes them places its crap. BUT he did have a pregnancy scare with one of his girlfriends and that upset me a little. He seemed to really care and bought her a test. I had the worst pregnancys, he was never there for me, he was abusive and I was so alone. So I think those issues are what upset me about him having another child by someone else. We've only been seperated for about 6 months and we were together for almost 7 years.
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  #11  
September 27th, 2011, 07:34 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Alabama
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My ex was dating within a month of us splitting and the first girl, i really really didn't like. The second girl seemed alright, but turned out to be crazy (after she moved in with him).. Now this girl he's been with since December is pretty awesome. She's the kind of person I would be friends with. They are also having a little boy due in January. I couldn't be happier for them. I always just wanted him to be happy, and he is very happy with her..

On my side, I've dated a little bit here and there, and the guy I'm seeing now seems to be worth my time and effort.. He's considerably older than me (31 to my 23), but I think that's a good thing. He hasn't met Lillie yet, and won't for a few more months at least. All in all, I'm happy
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  #12  
September 29th, 2011, 07:39 PM
Crystal713's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My ex moved on just a few weeks after he moved out. We were even trying to "work on things" at the time. I wont lie, it tore me up. I was depressed for a long while about it. But its been 7 months now since he left and the thought of him seeing someone still does bother me but not nearly as much and it doesnt depress me for days anymore. I just try not to think about him much!
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  #13  
October 3rd, 2011, 06:59 PM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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I don't know if my ex has been seeing anyone recently as I haven't seen or heard from him. But last time we split he was dating a girl while we were apparently still "working on things" and even when I caught him he lied about it. He was sexually with at least 3 girls in the 10 months we were split and it KILLED me, he was dating one of them, seeing another and the other was a one night stand. He lied about ALL of them, even after we were back together. It killed me because we were together 8 years and I couldn't even fathom being with someone else never mind having sex with them. It hurt me how fast he "moves" on and still does even though I would never want to be with him again.
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  #14  
October 4th, 2011, 05:45 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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My ex told me the other day he has been with 4 girls in the last MONTH.. I just find it pathetic
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