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  #1  
October 11th, 2011, 06:16 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,009
So my son (Alex)'s father wants to take him to resort type hotel thing thats 2 hours away for the weekend. Which would be fine except.....
-my son has mild autism and doesn't handle transition well. And I am not sure if his father could handle one of his meltdowns
-my son's father has never taken him alone over night (he lives with his mom, who I trust completely when it comes to knowing how to handle Alex and his quirks)
-his father rarely takes him, maybe averaging once a month (its more like once every other month but I am trying to be nice).
-they would be going with his father's new girlfriend (which would be fine but Alex doesn't know her, has never met her, etc) and her two kids


At first I said yeah after thinking it over for a few days but now he wants to leave on Friday at noon. That would mean taking my son out of school for most of the day, and him missing his after school therapy (which we have to watch the hours for, if he goes under the required hours this month he could lose his funding).
I don't want to seem like a b**** but its not like they can't atleast wait until after school. I have never pulled Alex out of school unless it was a doctor/psycologist/other important appointment I couldn't schedule at any other time.
What would you do????
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  #2  
October 11th, 2011, 08:19 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Honestly? I would let him go. I might try really hard to convince him to wait to leave until after school/therapy, but I'm assuming that it's only a few hours of school? Is there any way to change the day of therapy to Thursday (or any other day)? I'm guessing part of the reason they want to leave early is because they want to get as much time there as they can. I guess, the way I see it, is that it might be a good opportunity for his dad to get a chance to really spend time with him and learn how he is and how to handle his quirks. It sounds like he is a good person and responsible? I'm sure he won't let your son (and his son) get into any harm. Plus, two hours isn't so far that he can't bring him home if there is an emergency or your son just really wants to come home. I think it would be great to give both of the (your son and his dad) the chance to try it out!
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  #3  
October 12th, 2011, 12:05 PM
orrickster's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bloomington, Illinois
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I, personally, would not let him go. If the father was more involved, like seeing him once a week or having regular overnights, then it wouldn't be a problem. But since the father's never had Alex overnight before, then I wouldn't start that out with 2 straight nights, especially with him being slightly autistic. I think that's something that needs to be worked up to. And while 2 hours is not that far away, it is still far enough away. Would the father be willing to drive your son all the way home if need be? That's a 4 hour round trip drive. And I don't think it would make you a b itch for saying no (the father might think so), but he hasn't been that involved in his son's life so I am confused as to why he would want him for a whole weekend all of a sudden.

And the autism is a problem, I'd say. I've never been around a kid with autism, so I don't know much about them, especially since all of them are different. But since the father isn't very involved, how much does he know about Alex's condition? I wouldn't take a chance letting my son go with his father who doesn't know much about autism or who I'm afraid might not handle his meltdowns well or whatever. That just screams uncomfortable to me. But that's just me.
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  #4  
October 12th, 2011, 07:29 PM
AlexKatieAiden Mommy's Avatar Linda
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,009
Thanks for replying. I talked to him yesterday and I told him I still didn't know but was leaning towards no since 1. he doesn't take Alex often and I wasn't sure he could handle a meltdown if Alex were to have one. and 2. Alex had never even met his girlfriend and I'm not sure Alex would have been comfortable being in the same room as her and her children.
Well come to find out today that him and his girlfriend broke up so he will no longer be going to the resort thing. So if I would have said yes, and told Alex about it, I would have then been the one to deal with the meltdowns because he doesn't handle change well. If you say he is going to be doing something and it doesn't happen, it's usually not good.
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  #5  
October 13th, 2011, 06:19 AM
orrickster's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Bloomington, Illinois
Posts: 2,164
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Oh, yea forgot about the girlfriend and her kids. That definitely needs to be a gradual thing, especially with other kids. It totally wouldn't be fair to Alex to shove him in a room with his father (who he doesn't see often enough) and 3 complete strangers for a whole weekend.

Glad to hear that the trip was cancelled and you don't have to worry either way.
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  #6  
October 13th, 2011, 04:41 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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That was good you didn't mention it until you were certain to know what you were going to do and glad the trip got canceled so you don't have to worry about it .
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