We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
I lurk over here sometimes but I dont think i have ever really posted but i was kinda hoping that maybe some of you ladies had some insight or advice for this situation.
The SO and I where together about a month total before I found out i was pregnant. Both of us where under the impression that we medically could not have children. So needless to say it was quite a shock. I am 24 working on my degree in social working and he is 21 and in the Army. I was scared to tell him because you never know how someone is going to take that sort of news but he was extremely excited and together we just bonded and where so happy. I could tell that i made him happy just as he made me happy by the glitter in his eyes.
Work started stressing him and he went in and out of 2 mental health facilities during my second trimester. We had issues with his x who lives in another state posting pictures of him on his facebook, and he never seemed to ever have any money or anything to show for it. Besides that I had no complaints.
Well we ended up moving the first week of September together, he couldn't help with picking the place because he was in the hospital so i made every effort to find something that would work for us. I get all my stuff moved in and then he moved his but he never really unpacked his boxes. We where adjusting fine and then he had a friend which i ended up having to kick off my couch stay with us over a week. Friend was causing alot of issues and had to go. A week later it was another guy... and after a week he had to go too. Meanwhile the SO started coming home later and later and later and some nights he wouldn't bother coming home at all. I couldn't reach him or he wouldn't reply to my text messages and I was just fed up.
I reached my snapping point one night after he forgot about our date and just said if you don't wanna come home like a real person just get your stuff and leave your key and bounce. The next day when i was at work he did just that. I never saw it coming. No one saw it coming.
I have spent the time that he has been gone trying to get all my ducks in a row preparing for this baby and I think I have everything situated and I have to say I am more fortunate than most single moms because I have great friends and a lot of support. I have looked at everything from every possible angle and I just don't get why things went so horribly wrong for no reason at all. There is something I don't know, that's going on with him but I cant imagine what it would be. I honestly believe maybe hes doing drugs, or there is another women, or something maybe hes gay or has another illegitimate child somewhere idk....
Everyone keeps telling me I should just move on, cut him out of my life, not let him be apart of the LO's life but its not that simple. For one its not like i can replace him, for one hes the babies biological father and 2 im the size of a small planet atm lol. I am struggling with just keeping him out of the LO's life because I grew up without a father and I want more for my son than I had. I really do love him, and I know he loves me which makes it all the more hard to just throw everything out the window.
Anyone have any ideas of what I should do or to say?
welcome to the board! I"m Emma (28), Mummy to Gabrielle (5) and Emersyn (1).
It's easy for people to tell you what to do re the father of your baby, but 99% of the time it's not that cut and dry - it's not that easy to just cut them out of your life, especially when you are having a baby together (whether he is a part of it or not).. it adds a whole other spectrum. I think we ALL want things to work out so that we can be a nice 'happy family' - even if realistically we know the chances of that are slim.. it can be hard to let go....