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I had my 31 week appointment yesterday (lost 2 pounds! and ava is measuring at 33 weeks!) after my appointment I was suppose to hang with aaron but he called and cancelled..I was alittle annoyed because he rarely calls to just talk, most of the time its to cancel so I said I had that feeling he was going to cancel and he asked why and I explained why..So he says to text him after my appointment..
I texted him and he says he was trying to nap but couldnt because he didnt feel good (sore throat and cold) I felt bad and said I hope he feels better soon and a little time went by..I got annoyed because he didnt even ask me how my appointment went.. so I asked if he was even interested..nothing..so I tell him a few things (about ava measurements and the weightloss) and he really didnt seem interested..he said "thats awesome" and "thats cool" just very quick responses and nothing else so I said I was going to go and to text me later because at this time he made me feel like it wasnt important..
I posted a comment on facebook about how I didnt feel important and I didnt direct it to him..A few hours later he asked who made me feel unimportant and I tried to explain it in a way he would understand it was him..He didnt get it (i shouldnt have expected him to get the hints hes a guy)
so finally I went off..I told him it was him who I was talking about. That I was tired of doing and worrying about everything myself..and then he says this "im not going to guess or worry that im not helping enough if you dont say anything and if your not happy, tell me" HELLO there shouldnt be any guessing involved as he has done NOTHING.. I asked for him to research carseats and he was so willing to take the easy way out and use his sisters used one and even asked if he would want to pick out the coming home outfit and his excuse was that he wasnt sure what to get...So how hard is it to see that he hasnt done anything? I have spent well over 300 on ava and she is still needs things!..
then he says hes been to every appointment Ive asked him to go to ..yeah right..I remember the first time I asked he cancelled and hung out with his family..He cancelled two other times because he got out late once and didnt think he would have time to make it to another..So i stopped asking..He said I never mentioned my 31 week appointment till he called and I explained that I didnt bother because something always comes up and was told not to assume anything..
He eventually said that all he can say is that he will be a great dad and that he hopes we will always be friends thru it all..by this point im crying and feel like an *****..He said to not cry cause he isnt mad...
He says that I need to comminucate better and so does he..I guess I just dont see how hard it is to call or text and say "hey is ava all set?" or "is there anything ava needs?" and he doesnt even have to go to my appointments but at least show that he is interested
since he says he wants you to spell it out for him if it's what you want then spell it out. He may need the hints or he may just be that good at excuses. Either way :hugs: and ava's gonna be totally loved even if he isn't there
I think it will get easier for you with time. Right now you may feel like it's hard to ask him for stuff, but at some point you're just going to tell him what needs to be done and when. You know the saying, women become mothers the day they see the positive, men become fathers the day they see their baby. This is is first child, so it kind of seems like it fits. He doesn't know what to expect or how things will work. I'm not making excuses for him. Guys are idiots. But maybe just keep on him, or go to lunch or something and just talk about it. I'd like to say that this may be your future with him, him always talking the easy road and what not, but that all may change when Ava is born.
Keep on him, or just do everything yourself. Then write down exactly what you bought, the prices of everything, and then ask for half of the total. Maybe he's trying to get off easy by just not doing what you ask until you finally just do it yourself. Don't let him get away with it!
I honestly feel like he is trying to easy way out..he bought his jeep because well he did need it! (he only had a two seater)..he is currently talking about buying a new tv (since he had to give his wife the one he had)..just seems like money is going everywheres but ava!...
I should cut him some slack since you are right as it is his first..If it was me if someone asked me to get something i do it asap!..
im going to just nicely keep on him..or try to..I have alot written down on what i spent on ava (there was alot I didnt in the beginning and i regret that more then anything)..I also saved all the recipits!