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I swear I think things are going good and when we are together they are but then something happens and I feel like we are being used as a part time family for him.
I feel like when he wants to be a family man then he wants us allto go do things together then when he wants to be single he drops us off like nothing. It's really starting to get to me I'm sure that my hormones are getting the best of me right now has I am going through so much with this pregnancy and he is finally being great and active with this pregnancy which makes me feel like he wants our family back together but then it feels like out of sight out of mind when we aren't together.
He acts so loving just like when we were first together. I just can't help feeling like I don't want to trust him just yet and I don't want to put too much into us again just for him to end up being a jerk again.
I'm sorry this sounds like rambleing but I can't talk to anybody about me and him and if I talk to him it usually just screws things up so I just wanted to get this off my chest. I love him and I know he loves me and I am affraid he will hurt me again and I know that he is worried I will walk out again.
I don't know how we are going to get through this but I dream of the day that we will.
Well On tuesday I was with him and I let him have it everything that I was feeling just poured out as much as the tears did. Well needless to say the past 2 days he has been really awesome he has called a number of times to check on me and the baby and the kids but alot more then normal. Well tonight was coming over to bring me some money and when I walked him outside I was going to ask him if he had made up his mind on what he wanted. well I didn't have to say anything he grabed me and hugged me and kissed me and said he was sorry that he had hurt me and that he never wants to see me cry like that again it really hurt his feelings I told him well how do you think I was feeling. He said that he was with someone but that he was done with that he only wants me and the kids we are all that he has good in his life and that what he has been doing on his own isn't good but that we need to talk about some things before we just jump back in and I told him I felt the same way.
He isn't working tomorrow so I am suppose to call him and he will come get me so we can talk.
I don't feel like I can put all my trust in him yet but I really hope we can start to rebuild our marriage and our family.
I think what may have done it for him was when I told him if he was going to play mister single then he needed to file for a divorce because I'm not going to play the wife and the mistress so he needed to figure it out and then I ended our conversation by telling him what's going to happen when he gets her pregnant too. Then what is he going to have our family and then hers too?
Thank you ladies for listening to me. I don't know what i would do without you ladies
Last edited by joey_emmysmommy; January 19th, 2012 at 09:14 PM.
It is difficult to know whether to trust someone that you love and know love you back but hurts you so many times even after you gained trust believe me I been there before with my son's father when I left him but when he came to visit for the few times he stayed with us until he stopped seeing us because I told him he had to get a hotel which he wasn't too happy with .
I know the feeling too well..... things would be going great with Gaby's father & then it was like he decided that being a family man wasn't really the 'in' thing, so he'd suddenly change and I felt as if we were the least important things in his life....
that is eventually what made me leave him for good.. I took him back so many times I lost count, and each time it scarred me a little more... eventually I had to say I've had enough... and left..
That's kinda the point I'm at right now. I feel like I want to see where things go but I am fed up with feeling like I am being used by everyone especially by him. I hopefully will get to talk to him tomorrow if he gets off work early and I'm feel like I'm going to just tell him he either choses to be my husband or he needs to file for a divorce cause I'm tired of feeling like the wife and the mistress.
Dang just think about that made my stomache turn. I am just so tired of feeling this way.
Thank you ladies for your support