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Single mom of 2 with a half sibling?


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  #1  
January 22nd, 2012, 07:41 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 3
Hi, I am a new mom to twin girls! They are 5 months, almost 6 months old. Their dad is not really involved, though his parents do want to be involved. My babies have a 2 year old half brother who will shortly be turning 3. I have always known about him, way before my girls were ever even thought of. His dad is involved in his life, and I have seen the boy just a few times.. I have never met his mother, though. I am pretty certain that the boy's mom has no idea that he has twin half sisters.. and I don't know her, and I don't want to make my baby father mad, especially since he currently isn't really involved with my children. I wish they could someday meet their brother, and that I could meet their mom and talk to her. Although the dad is involved with the boy, he isn't in a relationship with the mom, and from what I saw the past 2 and a half years, it is only a few weekends and holidays that the dad sees the son. What would you do? Would you approach the mom? Or wait until they're older? Or just forget it all together? I kind of figure if I wait it out, either my baby father's mom, dad, or sister will end up spilling it to the other child's mom that my babies exist. Should I just let it happen that way? I know his son frequently visits his grandmother (who would also be my babies' grandmother) and I do think eventually they will meet in this way.. I don't want it to be awkward :/ But i don't know how the other mom will react to me.. I'm scared she might not like me or feel upset about me..

I haven't even told my own parents that my babies have a half brother. I'm afraid of the disappointment it would bring them..

Last edited by k8511s; January 22nd, 2012 at 07:44 PM. Reason: typo!
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  #2  
January 22nd, 2012, 07:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Knoxville,Tennessee
Posts: 3,593
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Why would they be disappointed if FOB isn't in the picture anyway? I would tak to his parents if they know her well. That way you could talk to someone that knows her already to get an idea of if you would even want the influence in your babies' lives. It could turn out to be a top notch mom but I would rather approach it from his parents since you know them and they probably at least have a few ideas about her.
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  #3  
January 22nd, 2012, 10:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
I totally agree as my mom and her siblings have a half brother. I met him and for some reason they stopped seeing each other and even recommended me to not see them when I lived in California so I asked why no one would tell me reason why.
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  #4  
January 23rd, 2012, 01:32 AM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
I think all children have a right to know their siblings.... whether that happens from a young age or an older age is really dependent on the circumstances.

Gaby's father has gotten his girlfriend/ex/whatever she is now pregnant & Gaby doesn't know yet about the baby- but I want to make sure that she has a part in the babies life.... and if it gets to the point that he won't inititate contact, I will be inititating....
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  #5  
January 23rd, 2012, 03:53 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 3
I just think my parents would be disappointed to find out their granddaughters have a brother who gets all the love and support in the world from his dad while they get nothing from him.. Their dad from what I saw only saw him weekends, etc, but he talked about him a lot and showed pics of him saying "look at my little twin." You could just tell he really loves his son and wants to be there for him, but he won't even give our girls a chance.
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  #6  
January 23rd, 2012, 08:25 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
This sounds a lot like my story I'm not really comfortable sharing details in the open, but if you want to PM me, I'd be happy to share/commiserate I will say, it's a very difficult thing to watch, when you're children are ignored and his other child is doted on.

In your situation, I think I might discuss the issue with his mom (your daughters' grandmother), assuming you have enough of a relationship with her where you would be comfortable doing so? I can't imagine it's easy or sits well with her, if she wants a relationship with your daughters, to have to have separate lives with her grandson and her granddaughters. She may be willing to facilitate something, or she may give you some insight on the little boy's mom and how she would feel and maybe help the two of you connect?
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  #7  
January 23rd, 2012, 09:18 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 3
idk how to pm on here! i went to your profile and don't see any message option
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  #8  
January 23rd, 2012, 12:04 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Hmm...maybe because you are new it won't let you? My email address is amy.catherine.ham@gmail.com, if you would like to e-mail me
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  #9  
February 8th, 2012, 07:46 PM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Bossier City, LA
Posts: 5,060
New single mom here (stalking for now) . . . .

Anyway I know someone in a similar situation. She knew her dd's father wouldnt introduce the two girls so she got in touch with the mom and they do a lot to get the sibling relationship strong. Now granted the two moms get along great so it makes it easier. They actually took their daughters on a cruise together recently so they could hang out for a week <3
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