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As it stands, Gaby's father has her 9am-6pm Sunday, and every 2nd weekend he has her from 4pm Saturday night (until 6pm Saturday). I have been at him to have her more, to have her for FULL weekends, because she is at the age she needs quality time with him, and not just a single day a week - where her Aunties seem to spend more time with her than her father does.
Now Gaby doesn't want to go to his house. She had a huge breakdown y/day afternoon because she didn't want to stay at his house last night, so she went at 9am this morning.. 10.20am she was having a big teary breakdown at his house because she didn't want to stay with him and wanted to come back here.
I think he has well and truly f**ked up his chances of having a decent relationship with his daughter. He isn't putting in the effort that Gaby deserves or needs, and now that she's old enough to see that, I don't think she wants a bar of him.
The selfish part of me that NEEDS time to myself wants to make her go to his house for the night, and make her stay at his house for the whole day on Sunday.. but the Mama Lion part of me cannot do that.. There is NO WAY that I can make her go to his house for the night when she's bawling her eyes out and clinging to me for dear life.
He refuses to acknowledge (to her) the fact that his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with Gaby's little sister. *I* told her about it, because I know he wouldn't. Even now that he knows she knows- he still won't acknowledge it. That is Gaby's SIBLING. She has a right to know her, and he is being a selfish mo-fo about it.. not at all mature. He STILL doesn't get that when it comes to being a parent you need to put your own child ahead of your own thoughts and feelings on a particular subject. I don't care if he is jealous his ex has a new boyfriend, or that he's in denial about it. That baby is Gaby's SISTER, whether he likes it or not.
So I give up. I give up spending my time and energy trying to get through to him about the importance of spending time with his daughter, and the importance of putting her first. HE is never going to do that.... and my worrying about that, cuts into the time that I could be devoting to her.
So f*ck him. If Gaby doesn't want to go next week, I'm not making her. He never seems to protest if Gaby doesn't want to go, he's only too happy to say "oh no, that's fine - if she wants to stay home I understand"... YES BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A FATHER!
Gah. He makes me so angry. Until now. I've written him off as an utter loser, and I'm going to let Gaby decide if she has a relationship with him or not. I want MY child to do what makes HER happy. IF she wants to go to her Dad's every Sunday for the rest of her childhood years... FINE! IF she wants to spend every Sunday for the rest of her childhood years with me... great, I get some extra alone time with my big girl....
Yea it really sucks that he gets such little time with her as it is and doesn't even seem to want that. It's so easy for him to go around making kids, but when it comes to actually being a father to those kids, it's just too difficult. I agree with letting her decide what she wants to do since her father doesn't seem to care. Maybe one day down the road he'll regret that he let this happen.
Kaisen sees his father every Wed night and every other weekend and still throws a fit about seeing him. It's always a battle and everyday he says "no see daddy" or "don't wanna go to daddy's house". I wish I could tell K he didn't have to see his dad if he didn't want to. But at least he has a dad that is insistent on seeing him (even though he works or doesn't do anything with K when he does have him).