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I have my 2 boys of course, and right now I'm in New Jersey because of complications down in Arkansas. I want to move out on my own of course but I can't stand Jersey, but this is the only place I have guaranteed emotional support or help if I need it. I want to move back down to Arkansas because I really like it down there, and my boys really get along with my friend Chris down there, but Chris is my only support and I haven't heard from him in 4 days now and he won't answer any messages I send him. With all of this I realize that even without trying I am relying on him too much and questioning a move I have wanted to do for a while. I couldnt stay down there before because it was too short of a time to save up for my own place. This time im taking the time to save up enough to not only pay for all of the deposits for stuff, but also to pay for the first full month of the rent,electric etc so that I dont have to worry about that ,I can just focus on getting assistance, a job and day care to make it so that I can work. I'm not sure if it's a good idea anymore though.. I'm scared. I don't want to make a bad decision and hurt my boys... but I am starting to feel trapped. Plus no matter where I live i have to be worried ill have health insurance because of me and james heart issues. Which I know I'm eligible for it through both states health coverage. This time also there will be NO BUSES!!! I will be renting a car and bringing some of my stuff myself, which is something else I'm saving up for.
I feel rushed to get out of the place im living because the wife of the owner of the house is a pack rat so there is stull all over, which its not so bad for dyfs to do anything like taking my boys. They smoke which makes me worry because of heart issues, the wife also has her moments where she starts being demanding. Anytime I have any money she starts asking for alot more, pretty much everything I would get, she had said unless i get day care shes going to charge me 400 per month to watch boys, plus the assistance i use to buy food, which with all of that together would be 900/mo, that hasnt been done, but with here off and on attitude I can't wait to find out if she will actually carry out with something like that.
Oh, also dad is being a dead beat so he isnt doing anything at all to help support them, though he also lost his job, the house, the car, the cell phones, and all of the dogs. Two had died, and he didnt even know the one did because he was with his gf 5 days a week and 2 days with the dogs, the rest of the time they were alone in the basement. He is now swingning with his ''gf'' going out to bars and having fun dancing, but he couldnt even give the boys anything for Easter, and he already told me he wont be getting anything for their birthdays. He lives in a dead town with no jobs so he prolly wont get a job anytime soon. He wont move out of the town because she cant move anywhere. So it's all me, lots of stress, and needing to figure out how to balance everything to do the best for me and the boys so that we can have a new good future.
NJ: Good: family close by Bad: expensive to live here
AR: Good: best friend nearby Bad: another big move
You sound like me like 7 1/2 yrs ago I left my son's dad and we had huge issues while living with mom as it made me want to go back to Brendan's dad but his place wasn't livable especially for a baby since he was a Huge Packrat. You couldn't even fit a couch that was a loveseat in there. Plus,he wasn't into being a dad as he didn't even help his own son out during medical stuff. So then I didn't think heading back to California would be a good idea even tho I loved California the only guarantee I would have there would be medical insurance and my SSDI other than that most of their apartments are quite expensive so I chose to not go back but if I did I would have searched for an apartment with a playground,preschool,elementary,junior high and highschool within walking distance. Along with a grocery store walking distance and a mall that we could walk around at . I would also have chose my dr and my son doctor to not be far of a too expensive cab ride.
Along with searching for playgroups, family events as I would want my son to make friends.
Anyways, I didn't stay at mom's house moved to our apartment in Montana even tho I would prefer California over Montana but by living in Montana we have an affordable place to live,Brendan has friends to play with,playground to play on as he used to play on that playground tons when he was younger but mostly he just swings,he can catch the bus at the front of our apartment parking lot,walking distance to the park,his school is walking distance so I can walk there to help out with events.
Plus, my mom gets some grandma time when she goes Brendan you want to come over and he will go sure.
Now with my niece almost 3 yrs old he is very eager to go over there to play with his cousin unless he's too busy playing with other friends.