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i dont want the father near my baby please help me


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  #1  
April 30th, 2012, 11:31 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1
ok so i am 19 and i am currently pregnant i was never married to the father

i dont want him near the child because the only reason he really wants to is just to be near me
he started to try to control me and would drive around town watching me he would argue with me and get mad when i wouldnt show him my messages and would log into my accounts and read them i dont have proof of this but finallly i moved back in with my parents

he started calling me and texting me non stop at one point he sent me messages saying he didnt care what happened to the baby cussed me out and more because i wouldnt talk to him because he wouldnt leave me alone he said he was sorry and didnt mean it but i dont care hes sent me text saying he hoped i ahd fun being alone on valentines day he sent text pretending he killed himself twice he said he cut his throat the first time them the 2nd sent me a pic off pills in his hand and said he drunk kitchen cleaner and took them my brother has messages where he said he lied about cutting his throat and instead had a heart attack but its all lies hes said in a text that he did meth

he has been arrested for assault a few times against his parents he is bipolar and takes no medication he lives with his mom and brother his brother has been to court for assault with him against there dad and had to pay fines it was considered domestic assault so all 3 paid

his mom is a recovering alcholic she has mental problems and has been arrested for attemted murder

he said he was goin to fight for custody but i dont want my baby near them i dont even want visitation because he has a son with someone else thats 5 and leaves him alone with his mom who i jsut dont think is stable enough to take care of a child i know if he gets custody or visitation my baby will be left alone with her at times

the house is filled with roaches and usually messy and i dont want my baby near that

the dad has come to the hospital while i was sick and pregnant with a severe uti infection and he started yelling and being crazy my mom finally got him to leave he has used his son (he dossnt have custody the mom lets him see the son though) and had his son ask me things like will you forgive daddy so i can see you do you still hate daddy it breaks my heart because i love the kid as my own i had to have my mom answer the phone after that and tell him i was sick or asleep because i dont want to lie to him but hes 5 so i dont want him involved in all this the mom said i can see him whenever because he wants to see his lil brother he basically considered me a 2nd mom

so what can i do? im scared that if i went to court and lost he would get vistitation or custody

also i dont want him there when i have the baby and dont want his name on the birth certificate but its a small town and i know hell find out im in the hospital when i go into labor

do i have to let him be at the hospital do i have to put his name on the certificate

he is unstable many people will say the same thing i dont want him near me or the baby i just dont feel safe and i dont feel that my baby would be safe

if he took me to court is there any chance he would get visitation or custody?

i have been keeping all the text and messages and most of the messages he left on my answering machine

also i dont like that he drinks exspecially bringing it into the house with his mom and hes not even 21 he was even posting about it online how he doesnt care that hes not 21

i just dont know what to do im so scared please give me some advice

also he cant even keep a job he either quits or gets fired after a couple weeks from all kinds of jobs

i just want to keep my baby safe i have a disability that the baby could get and that scares me even more thinking that he would be with them without me if he got visitation or custody his mom is technicallly 8 years old in her mind she post online offering to go on cam for money for random guys which means she will be doing those things in that house with the baby there

and she post sexual things on there asking guys to do this or that

and lastly he drives around with only a permit by himself which is illegal what if he had my baby and got pulled over by the cops?

when i was there they barely had food in the house they would eat my food all the time and jsut leave stuff to cook but with my infections i was too sick to cook so i couldnt even really eat much so how could he even afford to take care of a baby

hes also $6000 dollars behind on child support on his son

i dont want child support i dont want anything from him and i dont want his name on the birth certificate

hes using the custody thing just so he can have a way to get close to me hes controlling but i cant prove this
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  #2  
May 3rd, 2012, 07:19 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
I would definetly see if you can find a way if you can get a restraining order and see about requesting his number to be blocked on you and your mom phone that way you don't have to deal with his phone calls. If he follows you around and bugs you does your state have any harassment or/and stalking laws ?
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  #3  
May 6th, 2012, 07:38 PM
Bekah's Avatar happy 2 be a girl mommy!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,841
I'm sorry I didn't really read the whole post just skimmed over it ( I am typing one handed while holding my baby). I agree wit the previous poster about trying to get a restraining order because it sounds like he is definitely harassing you. Besides that NO you don't have to let him be at the hospital and I don't know where you live and what the laws or paperwork is like but, in my province the father has to ACKNOWLEDGE he is indeed the father and be there in PERSON to sign the legal documents to be on the birth registration/birth certificate. I am MARRIED to my ex and he is NOT registered as her father on the birth registration and wasn't at the hospital (he still hasn't asked about her or seen her and she is 3 weeks old)
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  #4  
May 8th, 2012, 03:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,501
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I would get a restraining or EPO out for you and your mom. Then definitely talk to your phone company and block his phone number.

You might not be able to actually prevent visitation though. And c/s and visitation are seen as 2 different cases in the court.

FOS is over 18k in back child support but he has visitation rights. Good luck? Maybe consult an attorney? Some do free consulations.

I don't think you have to put his name on the birth certificate.

However if he chooses to be involved, the court will order a DNA test between the child and said father. If he is father then child support will also be determined by the court.

Good luck
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  #5  
May 13th, 2012, 03:23 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
I'd certainly talk to someone about what your rights are, and about what can be done to keep him away from you and your baby.... It may be a hard road, but at the end of the day you need to do what's in the best interests of your child

((hugs))
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