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Hello, my story and introducing myself :) also advise needed!


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  #1  
July 23rd, 2012, 04:16 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 356
first of all i must warn you all that this is going to be a loooong post but i need to get this off my chest and i really need advice. so here goes.
my names melissa i'm 23 years old, i met my now ex partner in january and he moved in with me straight away. he was working but not getting paid so i had to support him and pay all rent and bills... i also was forced to get a credit to clear some bills off and he also spent the money at the casino. this continued on for about 3 months. i found out i was pregnant on the 2nd of may ( he was excited and so was i... i still am) he promised me he would find a good job and help me etc. he finally got back paid from his work, i asked him to put away money for rent he resfused and left me, went back to his mums house. he left me in debt with my car payments, $5000 credit card, and 7 weeks pregnant (very emotional!!) I am now currently almost 17 weeks pregnant, he has not paid 1 cent back to me nor has he paid any money towards baby things. I've taken time to really think about this and everything he has done has made me despise him... a lot. He wants to be in the child's life but at the moment he has no job, lives with his mum and drinks a lot. i dont think he will be a good father/role model for our son. I am thinking cutting all contact with him regarding the baby, not even wanting him on the birth certificate.
has anyone got any advise for me on what i could do? or what are your opinions?
i dont have many friendsi can talk to about this now, most of them are party people so ive lost contact.
thank you for reading! wasnt as long as i thought it was but then again i didnt include everything ha
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  #2  
July 23rd, 2012, 12:45 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,925
I would definitely not put him on the birth certificate
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  #3  
July 23rd, 2012, 06:37 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
I'm sorry you're going through this... IMO if he doesn't make an effort at all, he doesnt' deserve to be on the birth cert...
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  #4  
July 23rd, 2012, 11:06 PM
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thanks ladies, my next question is... if i don't put him on the birth certificate what rights does he have towards the baby?
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  #5  
July 24th, 2012, 12:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Kentucky
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Honestly, he still has rights even if his name isn't on the bc. As the father of the baby to be he can establish himself as the childs father and get a paternity test done to prove it.

And if you're thinking of state aid to help with the baby (food stamps, child care assistance, health insurance, etc) they (the state) will go after him for child support. They establish paternity with a DNA test then child support once proven to be the father.

Then he'd have rights to see the baby but most likely nothing overnight especially if breast feeding.

I would talk to legal aid or do a free consult with an attorney and see what they say for the area you live in? Good luck!
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  #6  
July 25th, 2012, 11:00 PM
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I'm in Australia so works a bit different here but thank you
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