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First let me say that I have no experience in this area, so you're just getting my gut reaction.
1. If he can't call you to chat about visiting then forget it. It's important to him or it's not. (I'm presuming that you haven't been a crazy lady in the past and called him a bunch when you shouldn't have, because then he might have good reason...)
2. He should come to you and your son, at least for this first visit. Again, if he's not willing to make the time and make the trip, then let it go.
I'm sure that you feel like you might be letting down your son by not doing these things for his father, but I think in the long run your son would rather know that his mother was doing the best she could to protect him from being hurt by a father who wasn't dedicated to him.
Congrats on the new job! Glad you've found something you enjoy!
I definitely wasn't a crazy lady before haha He changed his number once he decided he didn't want to be involved and we didn't talk all that much before anyways. I just feel like after all this time there are some things that we should talk about to at least make sure we are on the same page. I think I need to just let it go and when he has a actual plan to come visit here with actual dates then I will consider it. It is so hard to be a parent sometimes...you just want what is best for your kid but you don't always know what that is. I really wish he didn't have a gf though, for some reason that is really bugging me that he can care about her so much but not his own son...I really don't like FOB lol.
^^^That is exactly what I can't understand. He can put so much into this relationship with his gf but can't be there for his kid.
So randomly today I get a email from FOB while I am at work where he brings up his gf...thought it was crazy since I just posted here about it haha. He told me that he has a gf that he has been with for a while and he asked if he could bring her with him when he sees our son for the first time in years...I was shocked. First, he says he has been with this girl for a while which really only is about 4 months now...I don't consider that to be very long. He told me that she is really supportive of FOB contacting us and she really wants to be there and FOB says it would mean alot to him. I'm not ok with it. It's not like they are married or anything and a 4 month relationship isn't anything in my oppinion especially at 24 years old when he is still partying all the time and stuff. I just don't get it. I told him I'm not ok with it and if that is what he wants then I don't want him around. This situation isn't any of her business. Our son should be the priority here and there is no reason for her to be around at this point. Am I wrong? Would anyone else be annoyed that he would even ask that? Be honest
I'm going to keep it short & sweet - You can't worry about the new girlfriend. That really doesn't concern you honestly. Yes, it sucks, but that's as far as you should think about it because it sincerely will drive you crazy.
About your son - I understand your drive to do right by your son. Here's how you can do that. Tell the sperm donor if he wants to see his son, let you know when he's in town and you guys can make arrangements. Don't offer to take the kid to him, that's BS, especially knowing he can afford to come and just hasn't or won't. As a mom if you open the door to the sperm donor and say we are here and you are welcome to visit when you are in town you are doing ALL you have to do to being doing right by your son. The rest is BD's fault if he can't make it happen. If it's important that he be a part of his kid's life then he will make it a priority & make it happen. You shouldn't go out of your way for this dude who clearly isn't that concerned about seeing your son or he'd have done it already.
That's just my two cents hun. Sounds like you and the baby are better off.
Yeah I agree with you guys...that is definitely what is seems like. I emailed him back telling him I didn't want his gf to meet Joey this early into their relationship but I still supported the idea of him coming here to see him if you wanted to still and I haven't heard from him...whatever lol. My email back to him didn't sound as nice as that but that was the basically what I said haha. I knew it must have been to good to be true when I heard from him...Joey will have a good guy to look up to one day and I love him enough for two people
Jaime- I just got your message and I will do that tonight or tomorrow...my internet is being slow right now lol.