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custody arrangements


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  • 1 Post By Spottts

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  #1  
February 21st, 2014, 03:35 PM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 4 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 548
i am not a single mom, but my friend may be when her baby is born (they are broken up right now and baby is due in a few months). she asked me what i thought about a schedule with the two of them and i suggested 50/50 to be as equal as possible.


she preceeded to tell me that legally she didn't have to let her baby go with him overnight until she was atleast 3yrs old, but that she was going to be nice and let him take her after she was 6mo old but if he wanted to see her before then, he has to come over to her house, and he could have her every other weekend from thursday to sunday. obviously the ex isn't agreeing with this.


i told her to try and avoid mediation if she possibly could and that if they could both agree on an arrangement, that would be the best. i suggested maybe letting him do over nights after the first 6 weeks (she wants to breast feed) and every other week, and alternating weekend. apparently that suggestion offended her. i tried to tell her that a lot of courts see both parents as equal and that if they did end up in a custody battle, she might lose. and her response "oh yeah i could really see a court giving him 50% custody when he is 18 and has no job when the mom (her) is 18 and has a job". so instead of arguing i left it alone.


if you're willing to share, what is your custody arrangement with the other parent? did you agree to it or did you have to go through mediation/court? do you like the custody arrangement or not?


DH and i even talked about this and if anything were to happen and we weren't together anymore, we would split the custody right down the middle. half with him and half with me. then no child support for either one (not sure if she would want child support or not).
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  #2  
February 21st, 2014, 06:14 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,126
The first agreement was 60/40 with me 60. The next time it was more like 55/45 with me 55. We went to mediation both times. The reason exH got more time is because here child support is based on time sharing and he hated paying support.

Over my dead body would I ever have agreed to 50/50. It would have to be a court order. The man is a dead beat and has since signed over his parental rights so he doesn't have them at all now.

A friend went through the intensive drawn out battle and has 50/50. She was deemed "morally inferior to" her ex through the investigator's report. They both have jobs and took equal care of the child.
MommytoZoeAlyssa likes this.
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*Spottts*
Mom to 4 girls - one age 9 (January 2005), 7 year old twins (January 2007) and new baby girl born July 2, 2014
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  #3  
February 24th, 2014, 09:25 AM
MommytoZoeAlyssa's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 6,027
Well I have sole Phsyical Custody of my oldest daughter and Joint Legal Custody. I have her pretty much all the time. Her dad gets her every other weekend and alternating weeks in the summer. He also hates paying child support and *****es about it non stop. I let his parents keep her anytime they want to keep her and she wants to go. He will go a month between seeing her and doesn't call to check on her but his mom contacts me regularly to check on her and stuff.

My youngest daughter's father is not involved in her life. We broke up when i was just a couple months pregnant. He is a dead beat and wouldnt work and was on drugs. I told him the baby was not his and he just went with it. Over my dead body would my child ever be alone with him.......

In your friends situation I think it depends on the man and if he is a good person and stuff like that. I just have very little faith in men and their ability to parent just based on the men that live around here that do not take care of their kids. If he actually wants to be a part of the childs life and is not on drugs and is a good person I think every other weekend until the baby is at least a year old and after that maybe alternating weeks provided he takes care of the baby and such. But thats just me and I am very biased on the subject..
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