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What is wrong with me??


Forum: Mental Health

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  #1  
November 13th, 2005, 02:12 PM
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Hi my name is Stephanie and I am a 28 year old SAHM to two beautiful babies, Gabby is 3 and Alex is 7 months. Sounds great right?? It should be. Its not.
I have days where I am so Angry all day long and I fear that I may hurt my babies. Not seriously hurt them, but spank them a little to hard or worse. And I am not a spanker. My seven month old is very much a mommas boy, and sometimes I just feel like I could slap him when he is screaming. I am so unhappy with my life right now, I have a great Fiance, he has his faults, but he is a good guy. I have two beautiful children, who are my heart and soul. But i am still very unhappy, i have thoughts of getting in my car and just driving away from it all. I sometimes think that they would be better off without me. I have been a SAHM since my daughter was born, all except for 3 months last summer when I worked part time. I miss working. I wish I could find a part time job, I think that I need time to myself and I need to feel like I am contributing to the household. Anytime I suggest going out to do anything with my Fiance he tells me we can't afford it, and I think that pisses me off because he spends at least $30 a week bowling. And he plays Football every Sunday morning and I resent that so much. I want him to spend that time with me and our kids. When we were first together I understood the Football thing, and even went and watched him, but now that we have kids i feel like I have had to change everything about my life and he hasn't. I don't know what to do.....
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  #2  
November 13th, 2005, 03:26 PM
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hi, i'm susan... i'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. i know where you're coming from. i recently went to my doctor and requested that she put me back on my depression meds. between my stress at my job and the stress of dealing with my husband and his daily stress, i found myself snapping at everyone! i couldn't stand it anymore. i guess i ran out of ways of coping. so i'm back on meds and am going to see what happens from here.

i wish you the best.
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  #3  
November 14th, 2005, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by NHmom2two@Nov 13 2005, 04:12 PM
Hi my name is Stephanie and I am a 28 year old SAHM to two beautiful babies, Gabby is 3 and Alex is 7 months. Sounds great right?? It should be. Its not.
I have days where I am so Angry all day long and I fear that I may hurt my babies. Not seriously hurt them, but spank them a little to hard or worse. And I am not a spanker. My seven month old is very much a mommas boy, and sometimes I just feel like I could slap him when he is screaming. I am so unhappy with my life right now, I have a great Fiance, he has his faults, but he is a good guy. I have two beautiful children, who are my heart and soul. But i am still very unhappy, i have thoughts of getting in my car and just driving away from it all. I sometimes think that they would be better off without me. I have been a SAHM since my daughter was born, all except for 3 months last summer when I worked part time. I miss working. I wish I could find a part time job, I think that I need time to myself and I need to feel like I am contributing to the household. Anytime I suggest going out to do anything with my Fiance he tells me we can't afford it, and I think that pisses me off because he spends at least $30 a week bowling. And he plays Football every Sunday morning and I resent that so much. I want him to spend that time with me and our kids. When we were first together I understood the Football thing, and even went and watched him, but now that we have kids i feel like I have had to change everything about my life and he hasn't. I don't know what to do.....
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Hey, it sounds like you need to talk to someone professionally and state your issues with them.. You are definately are stressed out (and well should be). Being a SAHM with two kids and technically still single, that is rough. Yes, you got your fiance but it sounds like he is to busy "right now" balancing his life around your life to help support you all, which in his mind can be a stressor. What I think you need to make a call to your doctor and see if he/she can recomnend you some counseling and/or anti-depressant to "help" you cope with all these changes while at the same time be able to keep an open relationship with your fiance and tell him about your concerns/thoughts.
You are not a bad person or mom for "getting some assistance" remember that!
Because we all need little help sometime in ourlives.


-Dori
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  #4  
November 14th, 2005, 01:16 PM
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I have thought about getting some counsling, but I don't know where I would find the time. I also babysit my neice 4 days a week, she is 2 which just adds to my stress. But the main issue is money to pay for therapy and who will take care of my kids. I really do feel like I am in this alone. I just need to work it out and find an outlet. I used to write, but who has time for that with a toddler and a crawler? I will figure it out, I always do! Thank you ladies for taking the time to care about a stressed out stranger!
Stephanie
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  #5  
November 15th, 2005, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by NHmom2two@Nov 14 2005, 03:16 PM
I have thought about getting some counsling, but I don't know where I would find the time. I also babysit my neice 4 days a week, she is 2 which just adds to my stress. But the main issue is money to pay for therapy and who will take care of my kids. I really do feel like I am in this alone. I just need to work it out and find an outlet. I used to write, but who has time for that with a toddler and a crawler? I will figure it out, I always do! Thank you ladies for taking the time to care about a stressed out stranger!
Stephanie
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Well do you have insurance? Because most insurances will pay for counseling and as for your neice and your kids some counseling agencies have a playroom/babysitter for those in counseling-look into it? It doesn't hurt. It it only maybe 1 1/2 hr of your day (1 hr for session and half hour for to and from?) And they try go by your schedule as much as possible. Some counselors may stay after hours if pre-arranged. How do I know? Because I had counseling once and I had a babysitter/playroom for my daughter and when I couldn't be there during normal working hours she was willing to stay after! Plus, I have my degree in Social Work and know how some work. ;-)

If you do not have insurance some agencies will use the "sliding scale" =go by your income before they decide what fees you have to pay. ;-)

Just somethings to think about!

-Dori
Oh and yes no problem, please be free to come here anytime to vent, cry, ask or get support from us-as we may need yours too one day.
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  #6  
November 16th, 2005, 04:58 PM
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Thanks Dori! Its nice to know someone gets it. I do not have insurance, but I do plan on looking into something. I also have begun a plan of action of my own so that my everyday life is not so chaotic.
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  #7  
November 19th, 2005, 08:04 AM
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I may be way off but it sounds to me like you just need some time to yourself. Your husband does have that time with his bowling and football.

Why not have him take care of the children one night a week and you get out by yourself? Even if it is just to go to the mall and window shop, or a bookstore and browse.

You are home with the children 24/7 and babysitting others on top of it all. You need time to be you, the person you were before you had children. While we all love our children very much, we are people too

Huge Hugs,
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