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Hello, my name is Raean.. I'm not an expert on depression or anything even though I've kinda dealt with it here and there since I was a teenager. It was something my mom didn't talk about, she felt that depression is just a state of mind, and I just needed to get over it. I had some tragic things happen to me at a young age, and then some later in my adulthood that I never really dealt with, I just suppress them and move on. Sometimes they eat at me, and sometimes I can tell that decisions I make are swayed subconsciously by those life events. This past year has been wonderful to me! I got remarried to the man of my dreams, I'm living in a place beyond what I could ever have imagined, my new in-law family is just amazing!! I've been so happy! But then another bomb dropped on me...last month I found a lump in my breast and I went to get it checked out. The dr found more than one, and she wants me to get a mammogram. I dont have insurance, so I have to try to get on state insurance and then get the tests done as quickly as possible. So, today I'm just feeling so moody. Actually since my appt on monday I've just felt like I'm in my own little dark bubble. Like I dont know what to think, I dont know where to go from here? I haven't been diagnosed with anything life threatening yet but just the possibility is terrifying.. My DH and everyone else keep asking me what's wrong like I shouldn't be worried over anything yet! I'm scared, and I just feel totally at a loss! And I just don't know what to do. Today I just feel in a rut and really anxious... So I hope this was an ok place to go. I know it's not really a mental health issue but I feel like I"m going crazy.
Raean, 27 - single mom to Chloe (1.31.03) & Savanna (8.26.05)