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Hello I'm Elizabeth (22) I've battled depression for a while now ever since High school. I was on Wellbutrin for a while but I couldn't stand the way it made me feel so I stopped taking it. I thought that I did pretty good but lately I've been fighting a losing battle. As hard as I try not to I seem to fall into another depression spell. I don't want to go on meds again but I don't want to go with the alternative either...Im afraid that I will fall into my old habit. Which was self mutilation. I used to get depressed and cut myself. I harted doing it because even after the depression ended the scars were still there. I'm thinking that right now life is jsut getting to me. I take care of my husbands 2 sons from another marriage they live with us full time and they don't even see their mom so they deal with a lot of anger and resentment and some of it is directed to me and I don't know why then we had a baby jsut 7 months ago and my MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer a few weeks ago. I just feel like everything is slamming into me all of the sudden and I want to curl up and cry. I'm hoping that I can find someone on this board to relate to and talk to openly and that they won't judge me.
Me: B 28
DF: S 29
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays
Have you considered therapy? Sometimes when we suppress all our emotions from past painful events (and current ones) it manifests itself into a pretty severe depression (not sure if that is the case for you or not but it certainly was for me). I have found that dealing with all the pain of my past has been healing... although I readily admit to it being a slow and difficult process. But sometimes just having someone there who supports you and who listens can make a huge difference. It just makes me sad that you have to hurt yourself to make the pain more manageable (although I completely relate to that as well). I wish you the best of luck. ♥