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Hi! I've been on JM for a couple of years but I just wondered over to this section today. Looks like kind of a quiet board, but oh well.
I dealt with depression/anxiety during college, about 6 years ago. I tried quite a few different meds until I found something that worked. I ended up on Prozac and eventually weaned myself off of it about 2 1/2-3 years ago when things were going really well. In retrospect, I probably should have stayed on my meds, as I went off them right when I got married and moved 7 hours away from my friends and family.. there were times when I'm sure being on meds would have helped....but what's done is done.
I probably had mild PPD when my son was about 3-4 months old, but I also could have been dealing with the normal stress of taking care of a newborn and trying to do too much on top of it. At any rate, I got through it.
Fast forward to now. My son is 15 months old. This is our 5th cycle of TTC #2. I'm dealing with some puzzling physical symptoms (sciatic pain down my butt/leg from 3DPO until AF) and I'm terrified that something is wrong with me and I won't be able to have another child. I'm in the process of being diagnosed with possible endometriosis. We always wanted a big family, and now I'll be glad if I can just have 2. I *know* that my sadness about this is disproportionate to the situation...we've only been trying 5 months, we had to try for 7 cycles to conceive our son...I shouldn't be shocked/sad that it is taking this long. I *know* that so many people have to try for much longer to get pregnant, and I'm terrified that I will be one of them. I'm just so sad. I have to admit I probably cry about it at least once a day, depending on the time of the month. I have trouble sleeping at night to the point that sometimes I have to take Tylenol PM to sleep. Sometimes I just feel sick to my stomach/nervous and sometimes I feel a literal ache in my heart. I keep feeling like I am letting my son down, he needs a sibling and I'm failing him by not giving him one. It hasn't helped that 5 of my friends announced their pregnancies within a week of each other.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I probably need help, but also don't really want to go on something when we are TTC. I really don't ever want to go back on meds due to some of the side effects I experienced. I just don't know what to do...
__________________ Joyful Mama to 2 Sweet little boys
I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. My Dh and I tried for 3 years to have our first and we got pregnant on our 3rd cycle of IUI. I also have Endo and it's a horrible condition to deal with. The best advice I have if you don't want to go on meds is to make an appointment and talk to a therapist. Sometimes just talking to someone about what you are feeling will help. And they would be able to better tell you if meds would be more beneficial to you even though you are TTC. Good luck and I hope you are Pregnant very soon!