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Need to post this here,too..it's relevant.. (x-posted in grief and loss)


Forum: Mental Health

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  #1  
June 11th, 2010, 11:40 PM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 3,779
I lost my uncle to cancer about 1 1/2 years ago or so (I think..It's been so hectic since..)
and we found out maybe 3 weeks ago that my great aunt has cancer..in three places. Bone, Breast, And Liver...
She's going to fight it as much as she can, but she doesn't want to prolong it..
After my uncle passed away, My depression took a bad turn.. I was 16, almost 17 (18 now) and was suddenly clinging to my mom like a 5 year old, following her everywhere..
I hate this..my great aunt and I have been somewhat close, off and on, since I was little..
Not only that, but...
My grandparents are getting a divorce. They've been together since before I was born (my mom considers my grandfather to be her father)
.......as you can tell, he isn't my blood grandfather..
We don't know if he'll ever see us again..
He's the guy who took me on motorcycle rides and to the beach as a little kid.. He was my dad figure for years.. My bio dad didn't want much to do with me and was in and out of jail. He saw his granddaughter for the first time at FOUR MONTHS OLD!
But back to my grandfather..
We've been sooo close over the years.. Even when my grandparents moved to FL 6 or so years ago, every time I visited (2x a year) we'd do something..go somewhere..
I'm so torn right now..i'm losing my great aunt to something I hate so much..and losing my grandfather to something I hate just as much..ugh..I wish I could just make it all stop.
I don't know what i'll do when the divorce is final and my great aunt loses her fight..


The part I didn't x-post..
I've been struggling lately.. Holding in the tears, trying to refrain from self-harm (Its a daily struggle, but i've been doing alright with it..)
I know it's unhealthy to hold it in, but as far as I'm concerned,it's just as unhealthy to let it out.. I know if I do, I'll just lose it.. anyone know what i'm talking about?
Sorry..had to get this out there somewhere..
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  #2  
June 12th, 2010, 11:49 AM
wclark602002's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TENNESSEE
Posts: 4,464
i am by far no expert but i am very bad at holding things in and its not good.you need to find a safe way to let it out,find someone you can trust to talk to without being judged.and when it gets really bad look at that precious little baby and remember she needs her mommy more than anything in this world.please find somebody to talk to so you can get these feelings under control.KUP on how your doing.if you need to vent feel free to PM me anytime.HUGS
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  #3  
June 13th, 2010, 06:49 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
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I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I know that dealing with Cancer is such a hard thing. My MIL has Breast Cancer and so far is doing well. I hope that things go the same for your aunt. As for your grandfather...Your 18 now...unless he choses to cut off contact with you then you can make the couice to still have him in your life. And if your mom sees him as more of a father than a step father then I'm sure that she would choose the same thing. It would just be the same as if he were your blood grandfather.
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  #4  
June 13th, 2010, 08:17 PM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 3,779
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoAngelica View Post
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. I know that dealing with Cancer is such a hard thing. My MIL has Breast Cancer and so far is doing well. I hope that things go the same for your aunt. As for your grandfather...Your 18 now...unless he choses to cut off contact with you then you can make the couice to still have him in your life. And if your mom sees him as more of a father than a step father then I'm sure that she would choose the same thing. It would just be the same as if he were your blood grandfather.
Thanks
I'm just worried he'll turn his back on us. He's really closed off (one of the reasons the relationship is failing) so I wouldn't be surprised if he just shut us out so he didn't have to deal with it.
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Thank you peimum for the gorgeous siggy!
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  #5  
June 13th, 2010, 10:28 PM
Libby22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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  #6  
June 14th, 2010, 12:45 PM
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:hugs: i'm so sorry about what you're going through. I hope thinsg go well for your great aunt, and I hope that your grandfather decides to keep you in his life =)
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  #7  
June 14th, 2010, 02:43 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
that's a LOT for anyone to be going through ((hugs))
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