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OCD gets the best of me


Forum: Mental Health

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  #1  
June 23rd, 2010, 05:43 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,395
I have had OCD my entire life. At 18 I was diagnosed with Anorexia and told that my OCD played a big part in it. I have always obsessed about guilt or my inadequesies. I am almost never free of an obsession. I have taken medication for years and go to therapy...I am very high functioning and most people would never know I suffer from this.
So what's the flavor of this week? This...I can's stop obsessing and I keep thinking that my obsession is going to affect my relationship with my daughter. I don't want to feel like this.[/B][/COLOR][/B]

My dd loves, loves, loves my mother. I am a stay at home mom and am very attentive to my dd's needs. We are with each other night and day. At around 6 months she went throughs tranger anxiety and wouldn't even look at anyone else.....including my parents. Since then, we have not seen a lick of it again. She is extremely social and outgoing. I know she loves me and we have a strong bond, but sometimes I get jealous of her love for my mom. (just being honest)...when grandma is here (who she sees at least twice a week)...she wants to sit on her lap, and have only her attention...etc. She never really rejects me...but just is all over grandma. The other day I was trying to do her hair and she got mad at me and ran to my mom. A few mintues later she was sitting on her lap, drinking a bottle and I took her from my mom...she quietly, just scooted back to my mom's lap. I felt so rejected. I know she loves me...but what if she loves my mom more? Is this possible?

My mother and I have always had a co-dependant rel. It was just ehr and I till I was 3. After that..I was attached to her hip; until later in life when I rebelled. I guess I think that my daughter will be attached to her the way I was instead of me. Is this normal? Shoul I be offended? I know she doesn't know any better.....but maybe that's just the point. All she knows is what she wants....and maybe that's not me when gma is around =0( I can't say that she ignores me or is really clinging to my mom...but there are times where she is.
How do I know that my dd will love me the way all children seem to naturally love their mothers/parents?
anyone ever experience this?
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  #2  
June 24th, 2010, 07:08 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
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First of all It's nothing to do with you. It's because your daughter loves your mom but she sees you more than she sees her. She wants to be close to her and all of that stuff when she is there because she knows that she is going to leave. My DD is the same with my parents. But if she has been there for a weekend and I go to get her I can't even walk out of her sight without her crying and trying to follow me. At my Moms house there is even a book that only my dad can read to her...if snyone else tries she closes it and gives it to my dad. Babies are funny this way. It's ont of those things that will get better with time.

Secondly I'm sorry that you have to deal with an eating disorder. Have you tried the Eating disorder board here? Here is the link to it. There are some really nice girls on that board. Mommies With an Eating Disorder - JustMommies Message Boards I hope that We can help you and that you stick around and Join our little group! And Welcome to Just Mommies!
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  #3  
June 24th, 2010, 08:20 AM
wclark602002's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TENNESSEE
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i agree with PP.all my kids have done (and still do this).i even went so far as to quit my job,a great one at that because my first born ,i felt loved my mama more.it wasnt the case just... i felt all the things your feeling right now.but turns out it was only because he knew she would be leaving soon and he didnt have her all the time .so its completely normal that shes doing this and in no way a sign that she loves you any less.it will get better.and hey i learned that while gma was around i get could loads of things done that i would normally have to put off til nap or bedtime
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  #4  
June 24th, 2010, 03:01 PM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
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aww...you girls are soo sweet!! Thank you for taking the time to respond...you really made me feel better! I know in my rational mind, this is not so...but I just have so many insecurities...=0(......My ED is actually in recovery...for 7 yrs..=0)...but there is always a struggle.....can I join that gorup? I thought it was private?
I REALLY, REALLY...appreciate your kind words....I will be on here for a long time and am happy to meet such great women!!
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  #5  
June 25th, 2010, 08:59 AM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
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The ED group isn't private so you can jump on over and introduce yourself to the girls. And that is wonderful that you've been in recovery for 7 years! Way to Go!
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  #6  
June 25th, 2010, 11:14 AM
jeweluv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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hey...I joined...see you there?
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