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So, lol...I deff post a lot about my obsessions.....I really am a happy-go-lucky gal....this is just an outlet for me. Sorry....=0(
I used to struggle with both obsessions and compulsions.......now it's mostly obsessions. Once in a while I have intrusive thoughts. (which I know is very characteristic of ocd) They cause me GREAT distress.....are sooo uncomfortable, and frighten me. A lot of times they are about my dd.......like harming her. NOW...before I say anymore........I WOULD NEVER do these things...it's almost as if my brain puts them through my mind to cause me the distress....in which it succeeds. It's uncomfortable to talk about this but because I am a strong beleiver in being upfront about yourself in order to be healthy, I'm taking the plunge here. My therapist says that my obsessions revolve around guilt alot of times.............which is also why I developed anorexia 9 yrs ago; a way of depriving myself. There is NOTHING in the world that would hurt me more or cause me as much pain as if something happened to my dd. This is why she says I have intrusive thoughts about it.......it is a way of causing myself more pain. I tend to feel guilty, obsess, or turn things inwards at myself when I am angry about something that I might be unaware of. I hate to feel angry and almost never admit to it.
Soooo...knowing all this, today I feel the presence of these thoughts....they are not actually consuming me, but the fear of experiencing them, is.
Has anone else ever had these? I have read wand wtached several things about this...................the fact that such thoughts cause you distress, is proof that you are not going to do them. People who are serial killers, sexual abusers etc....find pleasure in these thoughts. It really is just my mind having fleeting , disturbing thoughts...and instead of them passing through like wityh most people, who wouldn't even realize they had them, because of the nature of my disorder...they get stuck...BLEH!
on a happier note (trying to stay positive)...I AM SOO EXCITED BECAUSE MY DH AND I ARE GOING TO TRY FOR NUM 2 THIS MONTH; YEAY!....mayeb aI'm a lil nervous about that too
BTW....thanks for being sooo supportive!!! ****hugs*****
I used to deal with intrusive thoughts daily... constantly but that was due to my PTSD and my past issues... after becoming pregnant oddly enough they've disappeared.... they likely do pop up once in a blue moon if I'm alone at night etc.. but they've not been recent.
My old pdoc used to tell me to changed the intrusive thinking into that of positive, which was impossible for me to do, i'd write alot and that did help.
Logan Xavier was born 02/27/10
Weighing 6lbs 9 1/2 oz
Whats strange, is I just now found out abou tthis "intrusive thoughts" Ive always had anxiety and stuff but when i got pregnant in 08 and up to now ( my son is 15 mo old ) ive had very harsh obsessive intrusive thoughts .. about him getting sick, or hurt, or i obsessed with sids and checked him over and over.. my dd is 12 now, and i never exp that stuff with her.
I ve been choosing something and obsessing over it daily almost, and then new ones emerg and its just ruining my life. Ive ben on zoloft since Nev was 2 weeks old and my thoughts seem to have gotten better in ways and worse in others.
For example I had a weird dream ( i quit smoking 4 weeks ago ) very strange strange inappropriate dream, and ive been obsessing over why i would dream such a thing, or is there any significance to the dream. =( Ive been crying for a few days now just beside myself.. and i really would like to stay away from google as much as possible.
lol...omg google is such a bad thing for people like us!! I get your pain...here is something I have learned that made me feel a lil bettr about my terrible thoughts. They say that people who are like really "sick" or would cause harm to others.....are not disturbed by the thoughts that we are having. We are upset by them and that means that we will not act on them. Everyone has these thoughts it just that with us, instead of it passing through without us barely noticing it...we get fixated, scared of it, and obsess. I know it;s hard...when I get these thoughts i want to crawl in a hole!
I hope everyone is feeling ebtter and just know that you're not crazy.......we obsess because we have a chemical imbalance...its not our fault.
Exactly .. i read that just yesterday... and thats exactly what I do.. is get "stuck" on negative scary thoughts i have.
Today i kept doing a lot of self talk to get me through it... and said i wont let this thing ruin my happiness and my precious moments with my kids. and kept myself busy. Some days are better than others.
I am experiencing high levels of stress, and the thoughts are getting worse, so i weaned myself on the zoloft on the 5th and broke down yesterday and went to a crisis counsilling place with my story written out , and asked what i should do ??
He said i need to go to my dr tmmrw at my appt and say to him they suggest i get a referral to a psych.. so its the first step to getting help.
I m finding myself eating far less than i used to also.. and have feelings of guilt too.
Here is a good article to read on how to better understand ocd , and pure o ocd, and a good article to send family members or ppl you trust so they can also better understand.
Also i added an article on self help for the intrusive thoughts, and mental compulsions. Hope they help u, and anyone going through the same thing.
I get the exact same thing about my kids! I was told that these thoughts are usually your biggest fears! I would never hurt my kids either but i get these horrible images in my head. When this happens I have to go find something to distract myself from the thoughts.