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hey everyone, just thought I would introduce myself.
My name is Rebekah(22) wife to Shane, and mommy to two wonderful little girls.
I think I'm depressed, now I haven't gone to the dr's YET as much as my friends keep telling me too, but it has just recently gotten unbearable. I can't find enjoyment in ANYTHING, nothing not even taking my girls to the park or shopping(which is usually my outlet as much as I can't afford it) I always have thoughts like "if i killed myself or got hurt etc, would so and so care" and sometimes although I hate to admit it, I almost for a blink of an eye consider doing something stupid( except I never would because I have kids). I haven't eaten ANYTHING in the past 3 days except a cinnamon bun from mc donald's and a sub, and my daily coffee. When I do eat I have the extreme urge to throw it up. I feel hopeless and like nothing will ever change or get better. I don't sleep well, I did last night suprisingly but when I awoke I had no motivation (which is normal for me now), I didn't want to get out of bed but when I did force myself to I got int he shower and stared at the wall for an hour, then had no motivation to get dressed just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep my life away.
I am just here for support because I have NO one to talk to
Bekah, I am just a lurker in here from time to time, but I thought I would let you know that you are NOT alone! Many people struggle with thoughts of depression from time to time. I was on Wellbutrin from '08 until just recently for depression and it helped me when I couldn't help myself.
You are not weak for asking for help. You are actually incredibly strong and brave for asking for help when you do.
Those beautiful girls in your siggy need you in their lives! Don't give up on yourself because they aren't!
Bekah, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I had post-partum depression after my second child, and I can totally relate to the things you are talking about.
Definitely see your doctor as soon as possible. In my case, an anti-depressant really took the edge off, and over time I was able to wean off of it.
Depression to me was a big hole that I was stuck in, with steep sides, but I couldn't get out of. And it wasn't a simple matter of "snapping out of it", like some people who haven't dealt with depression think. You get stuck in a rut and don't have the ability to even try to get out by yourself.
Please, please see the doctor about this ASAP. He/she can help you start the journey out of the hole. And think about what life outside the hole was like - you CAN get back there, but you need help.
Also, the doctor can look into whether there is anything medical that could be causing what you're feeling; for example, hypothyroidism which is quite common, can send someone into a depression.
Best wishes to you. I hope you are able to get the help you need soon. HUGS!
The strongest thing you are doing is admitting it; I had a heck of a time to admit to myself that I needed help and if not for a co-worker who made the call to a therapist, I wouldn't be where I am today.
Depression has many nasty side effects, many of which you listed. The lack of sleep will effect you in many more negative ways then one initially thinks.
Please try and get to a doctor--if they are unable to help you (some dont like prescribing mental health medications) but they will point you in the right direction.
Feel free to come here and talk at any given pt in time. Talking helps. Do you journal? I've found that to be very therapuetic.