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I get so depressed... I hate being alone. Like not just "alone" as in not in a relationship. But alone by myself. (of course, I usually have my son with me, but... I still consider that being alone...) I just don't know what to do with myself. I get so miserable... and like, idk what to do... and I'm just super depressed. I hate it. I wish I could be happy with myself... but idk...
My psychiatrist keeps bringing up this problem, and I thought I was getting better... but I just realized I'm not. I had been alone (sort of) for about 4 months b/c I wasn't physically with my (now ex) boyfriend, so I thought I had gotten better and was able to handle it. But i just started seeing someone new, and now when I'm not with him, I find myself in the same old situation. Depressed, miserable and lonely. It's pathetic. I feel stupid, and I don't want to seem needy and clingy. Idk what to do. My psych keeps telling me to work on this with my therapist. But it's just soooo hard for me to talk to people about my feelings/emotions. I thought we had worked on this subject, but obviously not. Idk what to do. It's hard for me to bring things up, b/c when I go to my appointments, everything I had previously wanted to bring up seems insignificant and I feel stupid talking about it. So i just don't.
I'm just so insecure and nervous all the time... and I overreact in every situation. And it's just really getting to me...
I have no friends, no hobbies... nothing. And when I'm alone, I don't even feel like doing anything or attempting anything to try to make myself happy. Obviously, I'm depressed... and I'm on meds... but I just always feel like they are only helping half the problem. I am in therapy and should be taking advantage of it, but it's so hard for me to bring **** up and talk and open up...
hi there. i'm not sure if i can help or not...but with your therapist - have you ever maybe tried typing out/writing out allllllll of your feelings and then taking that in with you to your session? I totally get how - even though your therapist is someone you ONLY see once a month (or whatever) and never see that person in any other part of your life...it is still so hard and almost impossible to talk out loud and say your feelings...
sorta like - if you say them outloud, that just "cements" that they are real. right? believe me. i know. it's SO hard to talk to your therapist sometimes. i get that.
but what about trying that? instead of going into your next session with just you...go in with a letter outlining alllll of your feelings and read them out loud - and think of it like you're reading a book.
that's really the only advice i have. not sure it'll help you or not...but it's a suggestion. i really hope you feel better.
TTC since March 2010 - 4 years... / Severe MFI / Endometriosis
TTC for too darn long...4 years...Started March 2010
February 2014 - IVF #3 - blighted ovum