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When I'm anxious I seem really happy. So it's kinda iffy. She's said that she has no idea why my chart says the things it says, why I'm diagnosed as bipolar I (and not ADHD) or why I'm even there. I unintentionally took any topic related to my eating disorder off the table. So we'll see how long this last. She's letting me set up how often the appointments are (every 3 wks.) and talk about whatever. I'm really trying hard NOT seeing this quickly go up in flames but it's hard. I wanted to cry and vomit after because even when I try to be honest about how I'm doing it just doesn't seem to happen. I wish I knew how to express my thoughts and feelings instead of just saying "I don't know", because I do but the feeling don't line up with the words so they sound wrong.
DH said it'll be fine, that she'll have no idea what she's "dealing with" until at least 3 months. He does want to go with me next time because certain concepts that most have are just confusing, like is XYZ out of the ordinary. So he wants to help catch concepts to help her "figure me out" faster. We'll see.
I'm trying to keep a journal right after. I don't have any hopes it'll come out any more understanding. we see DH's therapy on Wednesday and my Psy. on Thursday. For some reason it easier to talk to my psy. so maybe that will help because they share notes. It's funny because I was so hopeful that with a team of drs. thing would work out better until today.
My DH is trying to help me identify my "cartoonish" feelings so the abstract words that psy. and therapists use aren't confusing and they don't have to interpret my "cartoonish" feelings wrongly. So far I understand Regret, Consequence, Anxiety, and overwhelmed. All I can say is I find it strange that my cartoonish thoughts are feelings and other people don't think in cartoon form.