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So my medication I guess is working and I feel calm, normal. That said, I'm done with this vacation it's like when you just want to go home after being away for awhile. I know, no matter what, I owe it to my family to continue taking the medication. I have no idea how they dealt with me but they did and still love me . I will keep taking it but why I want to stop taking it, and what if the feeling gets stronger? Days ago had a couple of seconds of thinking I should take all of it so I wouldn't have any to take the next morning (not suicidal mind you). I have no idea why flushing it didn't cross my mind. Anyway, I told DH and he understands how I feel but reminded me of "the skin falley off disease". Also told me that it's not nice for me to leave him with no medication or wife. So why does normal feel so weird?
I wish I knew. I know how you mean. I spent my whole life feeling like I did. I didn't realize it wasn't 'normal' until friends stepped in and made me see a doctor. Since being on medication, I feel better I guess, and it feels weird. It's strange not to feel so terrible. I still have days though, just not nearly as frequent.
I know exactly how this feels. When you've been depressed for a long time you get used to it and it becomes a comfort zone. You have to learn to live as a "normal person"...and it actually takes a lot of work. Sometimes it would be easier to just slip back into the comfort zone...I know I struggle with this every day. You're definitely not alone.
Married 12 years
Mother of two wonderful boys: Jack (11) and Isaac (5)