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So I've struggled with cutting myself for the past 14 years. I stop for periods of time, then I find myself back in the hole again. I am at the point again today. I am having the urge and it makes me mad. I'm trying to get out of the house and away from the situation, but it is SO HARD.
So I was wondering if anyone else out there has/is a cutter as well? I've never met another person coping with this, so for a long time I have felt like an alien among my friends. Not that any of them know about my problem, I'm very good at hiding it.
Actually the first time cutting ever came up in a conversation with my friends was when MTV's Real World San Diego came on and there was a girl on there that was a cutter. My friends were all talking about how crazy she was, so that is probably why I've never told them .
Oh - sorry, my name is Charity and I have been on JM tons in the past, just never came to this board. Now that I've found it, I'll probably be here a lot - I need all the help I can get!
Welcome to the board, I'm sorry you feel as though you need to use this method as an outlet. Perhaps the other girls can offer advice... I've never cut, so am not the best for advice. I can support though
Don't listen to your friends comments, they've never been in a situation where that urge is there, and therefore don't understand. It's not that they judge, they just don't understand.
I've been there. I started dealing with that shortly after graduating from high school. One of my best friends is also a cutter as well as my sister. I didn't have any problems with it after my kids were born until recently. I went back to it once right before christmas. My depression and anxiety has improved a lot since then though, so that has helped a great deal. I do understand what you are going through.
I started cutting for the first time during this, my 4th pregnancy. I began feeling depressed shortly after I became pregnant. The depression did a lot of damage, especially to my brand new marriage. I also started a new job right before I got pregnant so there was lots of pressure. The whole thing has been pretty traumatic, actually.
I was in so much emotional pain that when I caused myself physical pain it was the same sense of relief you get from popping a blister or something. It literally felt like a release. I cut my arms and even my belly at my lowest point.
My dr. put me on Zoloft and I have begun seeing both a psychiatrist and counselor. I also started a prenatal yoga class and a prenatal swim class for relaxation. I've only cut myself once since starting the meds but even though it's only been 10 days, I can tell that the edge is gone from my anxious moments and I don't feel quite so panicky and upset. I certianly don't have that urgent compulsion to cut anymore, but again, I"m much more conscious of how to cope with my feelings.
Good luck to you. I agree it's a hard thing to explain to people. Everyone thinks that your intent is to commit suicide and for me, that was far from the truth...I just wanted to release some of my pain.
I used to cut. I cut for the last time about 8 months ago and everyday sinse then has been a fight to not give in especialy as I was trying to stop after my 3rd m/c. Different things work for different people....
As for your friends they say those things because they don't have a clue - this is one of those things where unless you have been there you can't truely know what its like to want to cut yourself. Obviously alot of the girls here may never have cut but in having depression can sort of understand it. However mostly people don't have a clue.
Cause I know my weakness, know my voice,
Now I believe in grace and choice,
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
But Iíll be born without a mask
I think that's the hardest thing for "non-cutters" to understand.[/b]
yes it IS hard for non cutters to understand ... its like a non smoker trying to understand a smoker or an anti drink person understanding an alcoholic
The SI is a form of trying to achieve self control and giving an outlet to pent up emotions that build like a volcano ............. has anyone read the link I gave above re: alternatives to self injury?
xxx Lisa xxx
xxx Lisa xxx<div align="center">
Ive cut for 6 years, on and off of course. I've never said that to anyone on here, wow lol. My couselor always checks up on me now though. I haven't cut in quite a few months though. Yay for me lol [/b]
well I'm glad that you're comfortable to share yourself in here
and YAY for you ... well done!
xxx Lisa xxx
xxx Lisa xxx<div align="center">