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any mums or mums to be out there who found it hard to deal with checkups/birth etc showing thier scars?
im extremely embarassed when i get blood tests or have my blood pressure taken and the need to use my bad arm.....
whats worse is that i really want my mum with me and partner while i give birth but she doesnt know about my SI and im not willing to let her find out on the biggest day of my life?
Oh hun, first of all the question is "WHY" are doing this or feel like you have to self injury yourself and Secondly, have you seen a professional or tried to seek help in ANY WAY about this yet? Not saying your an awful person by not helping yourself because there has to be a reason. You coming here to JM and and to this board is a good start so big to you. I am not a self injury but I do suffer from some depression/mental issues and have to take anti-depressants myself so I can relate "some". Once you realize you should break this habit for your sake and your unborn baby's (and soon to be newborn) for health reasons, facing the world aka the doctors, nurses and your mom won't be "as dramatizing" for "YOU" because you know in your heart what you been doing is a bad habit and is fixing the habit by doing something about it now! Keep telling yourself yes, people may point fingers and yes your mom might be upset or angry but most of all scared for you. No matter what caused you to "hurt" yourself in reality when a mother sees her child hurt in anyway will make them sad, angry and scared for their child as they may blame themselves (even if it is their fault/cause) that their child turned out that way. So hun, go make that phone call to a Psychiatrist (most insurances pay for it) and make an appointment ASAP tell them your concerns. Also, if not stop injuring yourself, as hard it may be I know it is habit forming but think of it this way each new cut you do tell yourself, you are cutting part of your baby life (health wise). Once you make that appointment and talk to the Psychiatrist perhaps you will gain the courage to tell you mom before the "big day" maybe even asking her to meet her at the Psychiatrist's office to tell her with his guidance? In the meantime, we are here-do you have a real life friend who you can talk too? That knows your habit? Talk to her.
Also do me a favor if you feel like self injuring yourself next time-Post here instead? Ok-do a journal-post your feelings out ANYTHING to get your mind off hurting you!
First of alll Big I went through a time in my life where I cut myself and never told my mother about it but looking back I wish so much she had found out because maybe she could have helped me. I think you should tell her before your big day, You don't have to be scared. this happens to a lot of people. there are so many people who love you and want to help you. Your mother may be upset but oly because she cares about you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself. the fact that you can post about it here is already a big step! Good luck!!