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Im a 22 year old mum to a 10 month old boy. I have finally got up the courage this year to study bach of applied social science (counselling). MY mum and family are happy that im actually doing something for myself and trying to get a career but my partner thinks im stupid for doing this course and basically has said to me id be no good at it. People in his college class ( tafe over here in australia) have said that i should be out working instead of studying this stupid course which will only just play with my head and basically have said my head will be filled with s$@t.
It is getting on my nerves and when i have assignments due or i need to do my course my partner makes up every excuse to stop me from doing it or he organises something to do so i cant do it. Whenever i do my course he is laying on his back eating and my son is playing when my son whinges my partners tells me to attend to him as i am the mother and i should be look after him. How can i explain to my partner this course is everything to me and i wanna prove that i can get a good career and that I need the time to do the course and i need personal time to get my assessments done.
Ive tried telling him but he just gets so pig headed and bags everything i do out.
advice on good study patterns is also needed and how to get myself into a study routine and to be determined about finished this course without outside interruptions.
I don't have much advice for you coz I'm no good with study patterns, my partner is fairly supportive and my bub isn't born yet but I just wanted to say YAY for you!
If your family is supportive but your partner isn't could they come over and play with your son for a couple hours to give you some time? Or do you have any friends who could do the same thing for a couple hours?? Check with uni about low cost childcare that some student associations or uni's run too.
If his tafe classmates think you should be out working why isn't he??? By that rationale shouldn't he be out working instead of studying too??
I'm in Oz too and I think sometimes there's a bit of rivalry between uni and tafe, maybe thats got something to do with it.
Good luck and stick with it. PM me if you need to chat some more!
I would be so pi$$ed off if I was in your shoes! Your partner should always be supportive of you, whether he agrees w/ what you're doing or not. As long as its something you want to do and doesn't harm you or your child then he should be by your side! You're just trying to get out there and make a better life for yourself and your family.
The only thing I can suggest is save your work for when your son is sleeping, or when a family member or friend can come over and watch him. Its sad that he won't do this for you, he is *his* son too!
Good-luck hun I hope things work out for you.
beckii ... momma to my beautiful princess Mikayla Lynn 01.18.06
I am sorry to hear about this, I think Starcie gave some great advice. I'm Shana the host of the board and I first want to welcome you. Secondly instead of trying to talk with him maybe you could write out a list or a letter saying why this is so important to you. I know it sounds dumb but hey it just might work. I hope to see you posting soon!!
Personally, it sounds to me as if your partner is just afraid to see you get ahead. If he isn't willing to help then I will look into someone who is or as tiring as it might be I might just wait until my child goes to sleep and use that time to study and pay my partner no attention. He doesn't like it then oh well. I would even see if someone can babysit and just go somewhere like the library, book store, etc. and use that as my study time...Somewhere that is does not involve him.
I told him that I dont care what he thinks or what anyone else thinks if he dont like me studying then he knows where he can go. He hasnt really changed but he now understands that Im studying and no one can tell me if i should do it or not and that i study when i ahve time and he has understood that and i told him that if i get time late at night i will do it and even if im up all night he cant tell me to get to bed as i do my studying when my son is asleep.
I have got my first assignment back I passed 50% which is good compared to i only wrote the essay an hour before sending it off. Im due to get another 3 essays back shortly and see if i have passed. But im going okay and hopefully pass the modules.