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I am going to explain first before I as my question so you all understand. When me ad Dh was younger we fell on hard times and lost our place and had to give my 3 children to my MIL instead of putting them in a foster home. And my MIL was suppose to let us see them and include us in all appointments, school things still leave us be parents , she never adopted them (Legal Custody) we tried to contact them over years but everytime we tried to see them she make up excuses and would even make up excuses to why we couldn't even talk to them on the phone. Back in 2000 when my dad had passed away with cancer before he passed away he just wanted to hear the his grandkids voice and my MIL said no that they had been through enough and hung up the phone on us , my dad was torn apart and passed away because my MIL had broke his heart. So anyways we still continued to try to contact the children.
Well I seen them on myspace and one of them my oldest son TJ 17almost had Contact with me through myspace asking if he could get my cell # so he started texting me , well I don't have the texting down fast enough so I asked him if he had yahoo messenger and then we started talking 3 weeks from this Saturday. We started talking like at 11:30 pm and didn't stop talking till Sunday at 4:20 am. Well he asked if he could see me and I did meet with him , I told him we truied to contact him and everything I needed him to hear, and well after that we started talking just about every day. Well On Easter Sunday he was talking to my DH and said he really wants to get to know us even better and also wanted to know if at 18 if he could come stay with us if not before.
Okay now my question: What does a parent talk to a 17 year old son to keep the communication level going to build a good realstionship with him going??? I don't know all of what to talk to him about that we haven't talked about, Dang I am this horrible person I feel that I can't even know what to talk to about with my son.Please any help on this will be grateful
WOw you are a strong person to have gone through that. Have you found out what his interests are. Does he like sports? Are his teams in the playoffs right now. What are his career dreams of the future. His favorite music/bands. Does he have a girlfriend? Is he a member of any sports teams from school or in clubs at school. How well does he know you and your dh maybe let him know that you always wanted to be part of their lives. If I think of anything more I will let you know
goodluck and lots of hugs
Wow I agree what a strong women you are! you have been through a lot!! I really don't know much about 17yr olds, I would just try to find out his interests, if he is involved in sports or school activities maybe you could go to one of his functions? Good luck!! and HUGS what you have been through must have been hard!
At 17 he's pretty much an adult - I'd start out approaching it like getting to know a friend or sibling you've been out of touch with for awhile. Talk about everyday stuff - tv shows, games, girls, favorite experiences, stuff that's happened in school, if he wants to go to college or do for work, kind of cars he likes and sports stuff, music and bands he's seen, things you did and liked when you were younger, stuff you did and places you've been you wanted to share with him or though of him during, there are no limitations!
That's fantastic that you finally have contact with him again! I hope you will get to connect with the other children soon as well. As for what to talk about I would just ask him a lot of open ended questions about his life and interests and do a lot of listening at first. The more you talk to him the more comfortable it will get and the more naturally it will come. Enjoy your time with him! I'm so happy for you!
Thanks All for the advice!!! I have talked to hom about sports, school ,he talks alot about his GF. I am pretty much talking about what ever comes to mind but with in reason. He is talking about being a police officer.I am sure more I get to talk to him the more conversation will come