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I have two stepson. one is 21 yrs old and his mother is so sweet and has never bugged us for anything. the other one is in love with DH and would do anything to break us up. she is so evil that she sent me text messages on our Vacation saying that she was sleeping with DH and that i should get checked out. what a B****. but DH and i got into a big fight last month cause of her cause she calls at all hours for any little thing. i told him he needs to put his foot down if it's not about there son she has no reason to call. he said ok but it kept on. well got into it again and i was about to live him but he begged me not to and that when she would call he would tell me etc.
well i check out cell phone online all the time and saw that she had called but also that he's called her almost everyday this week. i don't know what to do anymore. and i checked his phone and he deletes her calls so i wont see but it still shows up online. i love him to death and he is a good father but i don't need this. we have been together 7yrs this july . any words would be great thanks and sorry it so long
To a MUCH lesser extent, I used to have a similar problem with DH's ex, though I know for a fact that he wasn't the least bit interested in her. They were friends first, then dated, then he broke it off and tried to stay friends. They had been apart for 2 years when we met. He is a softy and has a hard time hurting people's feeling. He feels sorry for her since she STILL lives at home with her parents (she is 30) and doesn't date very often or have many friends.
Still, it used to bug the dickens out of me. She'd call him everyday, sometimes several times a day whether I was with him or not. He didn't do things like delete her call records or anything (I never checked, though), but he stopped mentioning if she called him during the day.
That being said, she gets on his every last nerve. He was just being a wuss, really...didn't want to hurt her feelings. I don't know for sure that she still had a thing for him, but I felt like she did based on how often she called. She once sent me an email that said that she had no interest in Preston and that she just really valued his friendship. Still it bugged me!
One night after the baby was born, his ex called while I was bathing her and getting her ready for bed. I needed Preston to help me, so I asked him to get off of the phone. He told her he had to go help me with the baby and she just kept talking (one of the things that she does that bugs him). I got soooooo mad and walked up to him and yelled into the phone that I needed his help NOW, to get off of the stupid phone.
After that, she quit calling. I think she finally got the hint. Ironically, she is friends with me on Facebook and we do see her whenever his old college friends get together. It is very awkward, though I don't know why as I have never been anything but nice to her....well, except for that one time. I put up with it b/c I honestly never worried that he had a thing for her. If I had ever felt that HE had any interest in HER, I would have walked away.
As for your situation, I think that I would leave and see if he would then cut her out of his life except where it truly involves his son. He needs to know you are serious about this. She is getting exactly what she wants and he needs to take your side on this. If not, then I think you are better off without him.
I've never been in a situation like that. I hope you figure out the best thing to do for yourself and your children. Sounds like he's not being honest with you, IMO.
sandy don't know how you did it i would have lost it. DH and her went out a few times but they were never a couple. she was just a booty call once in awhile.
but what bugs me the most is him not telling me the true. i'm a big girl. i can take it i may not like it but i can take it. this is driving me crazy plus with xavier party right around the corner .
and me leaving i have to get on it. i have to do 101 things for my older son beofre i do, cause he gets at home services for his Autism
thanks for the advice ladies i'll let you know how it go's
I have been in your shoes to be honest. DH and I are still together becuase well I did leave him. HE was texting his ex and lying about it saying that its his friend Jay is who he had it in his phone. He would ALWAYS delete his messages and the ones that stayed in didnt seem right. We got into sooo many arguments about it. I looked at the phone bill and found the number and realized the NIGHT i had lil man he was texting her all night. Well I decided to call the number and realized it was her. He was at work doing a fair thing and we visited him then that afternoon i found out so i called him and told him that i hope he enjoyed his stunt with the kids i am gone i wont say where i was then i just took off. needless to say he blew my phone up and we worked things out.
I have been in your shoes to be honest. DH and I are still together becuase well I did leave him. HE was texting his ex and lying about it saying that its his friend Jay is who he had it in his phone. He would ALWAYS delete his messages and the ones that stayed in didnt seem right. We got into sooo many arguments about it. I looked at the phone bill and found the number and realized the NIGHT i had lil man he was texting her all night. Well I decided to call the number and realized it was her. He was at work doing a fair thing and we visited him then that afternoon i found out so i called him and told him that i hope he enjoyed his stunt with the kids i am gone i wont say where i was then i just took off. needless to say he blew my phone up and we worked things out.
wow i'm glad you guys worked things out.
i spoke to him and i told him that i didn't like that he was hiding the calls and the texts from me. he said like a guy i forgot . yeah but he didn't forget to delete them from his phone he said he does it cause he knows it bugs me. he a surge's me he isn't cheating on me with her or with any one else. he told me the reason for all the calls was cause she wants him to take their son to a family birthday party we have on Saturday and they where making plans for that. he asked if i was ok with that. not happy about it but it's his son . she doesn't take him cause she doesn't want to see me since she sent all the text to me back in dec. yet i can't wait to see her. i will keep you all updated if anything changes. but still looking into school for my son just in case i do have to leave him.
thank you all for the and words of advice. i know i can always come here and let it all out
I wish you best I really do. If you ever need to talk you can always PM becuase I have been through it and I have been through a lot with exes not only from him but a few of mine as well.
As long as in your heart you feel he is being sincere when he tells you this then listen to your heart but always put you and your kids first.
I wish you best I really do. If you ever need to talk you can always PM becuase I have been through it and I have been through a lot with exes not only from him but a few of mine as well.
As long as in your heart you feel he is being sincere when he tells you this then listen to your heart but always put you and your kids first.
