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Hi, guys! Sorry I haven't been around much... I've been lurking. lol I don't know why, but when I say that I totally feel creepy. Anyway... I need advice.
Haeden has been in his daycare for like a year and a half. Her hours have been 715 to 530pm, however, when we agreed to start with her she told me that she had a 15 minute window for pickup. This is the only reason we chose her since we knew that we could not always get out of work on time. I have the original email saved. We have been after 530pm before, but never past 545pm. It has never been an issue before either.
Well, Monday I was sick with a migraine and at home. Dan was 8 minutes late picking up Haeden. When he arrived he had to bang on her doors and windows because she had locked her house up. She finally brought Haeden to the door and they left without saying anything. The next morning she sends me an email to tell her that we owe her a 20 dollar late fee because Dan was late. I wrote her back and told her that since he was within the 15 minute window he cannot be considered late. She then wrote me back and told me that she is no longer staying open past 530 and the late fee is 2 dollars per minute. She also said she opens at 715am just for us and this is also not true. Those were the hours she originally gave us. She opened early for someone else and I think they have left the daycare now so she probably doesn't want to do it anymore.
Anyway, after her last (derogatory) email, I am sending my mom to pick Haeden up and I do not want to take him back. I feel like since the relationship between us is now broken that Haeden isn't as safe. You just never know. I also feel like since she is changing her hours then she is the one breaking the contract and I am hoping that I cannot be held liable.
What do you think? I am so stressed that I either want to cry or puke or both.
It's a really tough situation. If you don't feel like you can sit down in person with her and work things out and that there would be no aftermath, then,
I'd pull him and find another place. As tough as it is, it sounds like she's changing her attitude and rules which isn't fair to you and makes me wonder what else about her or her care is changing...
I would pull him. She is altering a written contract( email counts as a written contract) and unless she has given you warning about hour changes( which it don't sound like she has) then she has no legal standing to charge you more for being late. I would worry about safety too if she is being that horrible to you.
Thanks, ladies. That is exactly it. I sent my mom to pick him up. She just told her that she was off and wanted to spend the day with him. The daycare lady asked if I was mad and my mom said that I was upset and she asked if he'd be back tomorrow and my mom said that he would as far as she knew.
I hadn't even sent her an email about him not coming back and have already gotten two emails where she is attacking my parenting. Why in the hell would I send him back to her?!
Example:
You are certainly not the person I thought you were with your son foremost on your mind. You are mad so you pulled him out of his classroom and friends because you are angry with me. Shame on you! Breaks my heart for Haeden and hopefully he goes someplace not like the last place before this one. he is very sensitive and needs a ton of one on one. Sorry you have to be this way and I wish him the very best.
and
I agreed to open 15 minutes early just for you, gladly. Your note sounds like a threat which is not acceptable. The late fee is 2.00 a minute and is due on Friday. I am not making excuses for myself but Monday was an extremely bad day as I should have been hospitalized. As I found out, you are home with a migrane and Dan is 10 minutes late, see the scenario? I don't mind your being late once in a while, this has been extremely difficult for me. I am not changing anything, just supporting my contract, which also states a four week notice for dismissal. If you want to leave your child in care for more than 10 hours a day, which means you get as little as three hours in the evening with him, that is completely up to you. I have no time to spar with you via email either,
woah,did she seriously say that to you in emails?i would be PISSED if anyone said that to me,nevermind the person who i have trusted to care for my child for over a year!I would def not be sending him back to her,ever!Can your mom watch him for you while you find somewhere else?sorry you have to be dealing with this!
oh,and i think you are a wonderful mommy who works hard to provide your son with everything he needs,shame on her for even bringing up the fact that you have to work!
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Amanda,mommy to Tatum Wyatt 4/12/09And Bennett Robert 6/6/12
Yes, she did! And more. I am beyond pissed. I was literally shaking earlier because I was so pissed. There are so many issues I overlooked with her in the past because I thought Haeden was happy there, but it doesn't even matter at this point. I know he will be fine and adjust. I just can't believe she has soo much nerve!
I did find someone to help in the mean time. Thankfully.
Wow, that sucks. Does the contract seriously say 4 weeks? If so you may have to negotiate with her on that, and she may not be willing to. Yeah, I'd pull him too...daycare is a tough job, but you don't ever question a parent like that.
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Thank you *kiliki* for the beautiful siggy!
Yeah, there isn't really going to be any negotiating. She will have to take me to court.
I actually took him there today because I was going to give notice and do the 4 week thing, but then she emailed me and started attacking my parenting and there is no way I'm going to feel comfortable leaving my child with her at this point. She doesn't seem stable in these emails. She is basically trying to bully me.
The thing is that this is all out of the blue. I've seen her be like this towards some other parents, but I didn't worry about it since it never was directed towards me. I just figured they owed her or something. But this was so out of left field with the sudden late fee and changing of times of her being open. Three months ago I was posting ads on craigslist to help her find new kids. And I make them gifts for Christmas and all that jazz. I have never, ever taken advantage of her.
After I told her I wasn't paying the late fee yesterday she called and told me to come and pick Haeden up because he had a nasty diaper and was sick. I came and got him and he wasn't sick. He did have a bad diaper, but that is not uncommon with him. It is easily caused if he has a lot of juice. She knows that bc she has discussed it with my mom before. Several weeks ago she called me and told me to come get him bc he had lice. Guess what? He did not have lice. And I kept him out another day after that because I was afraid he would get it. But I still have to pay her regardless. And I never complained.
There have just been lots of little things building up before this and then the threat of the late fee was just the straw that broke the camel's back!
Wow, what nerve!!! Those emails are absolutely ridiculous!!! I cannot believe she is attacking you and your parenting in that manner...Bi-atttcch! Please try not to let her get to you, you are a great mama and since working is not a choice for many of us (including me), we do the best we can with finding someone who is loving to watch them when we are away...too bad she is very obviously not the one to do it anymore! Unstable is one word for her...I can think of several others....
I can think of several words for her but they would probably get me banned. Pull him out. If she takes you to court bring in the emails. That alone would probably get the case dismissed in a hurry.
Her emails are threatening and would never hold up in court. You did the right thing by taking him out of there. No way that he was in a healthy environment with that kind of attitude!
I'm sorry Hesper, that lady sounds like she has a few screws loose. It's one thing to disagree about late fees and day care times, but it's completely another to start criticizing someones parenting skills. She really has some nerve! I hope you find an arrangement that works better for you!
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Thanks Katidid622 for my adorable siggy!
Thanks, ladies! I figure the same thing regarding court. Who in their right mind would continue to take their child to someone who turns on them so quickly?! How do I know how she reacts to my son when he makes her mad? Scary!
Good news is that he is with a friend of mine today. She has a little boy 11 months older and a baby that is 7 months. She stopped working when the second baby was born and they've been having a hard time living on one income. So, even though this is still probably temporary, I think that it will work out nicely. This morning Haeden was SO excited to go there that he was saying, "Hooray! Hooray!" in the car.
Wow...I am so glad that Haeden is out of there. That lady sounds bat-poop crazy! She keeps it up, send her my email. Tell her I'm your attorney. I'll get rid of her real quick
I am sorry that you had to deal with that and listen to the crazy things that came out of her mouth. She probably did need to be hospitalized...in the psychiatric ward!
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♥ Siggy credit goes to Pattyandthemoos, thank you! ♥
Wow, it is great that you can help out your friend too. It sounds like it's going to all work out in the end, and getting rid of her was the best thing!
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Thank you *kiliki* for the beautiful siggy!
Chiming in late, but I just wanted to say that I would have pulled him too. It's disturbing enough that your husband had to pound on the door to get your son, but then the personal attacks would seal the deal for me.
Thanks again, guys. I was SO upset the other day. I was literally shaking. It's hard enough to leave your child every day to go to work. I still can't believe she "shamed" me on my parenting. Like she has any idea at all how I parent?! All I know is that up until that point I was praised for how great he was. And her talk about me having him in care all day when I was at home?! Well, not that it is her business, but I was home with a migraine and usually can't drive because of meds. She was a piece of work. So glad she is out of my life now. I haven't heard back since my last email to her essentially saying that he would not be back and that since she is the one who changed her hours, she voided her own contract with me and could not hold me to the four week notice. I also told her that I didn't think anyone would ever expect me to take my kid back to her after the way she talked to me in those emails.
Ugh. Just sickening! Oh, and Haeden had a great day yesterday with my friend and her two sons. She said he was so good all day long and listened very well. I am excited to see how next week plays out. Okay, and a little nervous, too. I know this is just temporary, but am hoping that it is a loooong temporary. lol
And Bennett Robert 6/6/12
Please try not to let her get to you, you are a great mama and since working is not a choice for many of us (including me), we do the best we can with finding someone who is loving to watch them when we are away...too bad she is very obviously not the one to do it anymore! Unstable is one word for her...I can think of several others.... 
I'm sorry Hesper!
. Pull him out. If she takes you to court bring in the emails. That alone would probably get the case dismissed in a hurry.
Do you 
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